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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 18 May 2011, 11:48 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| I don't think I have the power right now at all. I really am typically happy being the passive one. It bit me in the butt this time. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 18 May 2011, 10:55 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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Thank you aarrrghh. (I know I left out a lot of letters!)
I hope things get better for you. Being cheated on is one of the most difficult things anyone can have to endure. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 18 May 2011, 9:39 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| I'm sorry I have not updated what is going on for everyone. As it turns out, there was more, and some of it blindsided me. I'm not sure if I want to get into details. I will have to think on that. I need to admit to something. I changed one aspect of our story in an effort to remain anonymous. We ar... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 23 Apr 2011, 3:43 pm
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| simon_says: I know the list you are talking about but mine tends to exist in my head instead of on paper. I don't want it there at all. I get hurt a lot but still prefer to see the good in people wherever possible. I am really hoping to be able to get back to a level of trust. HopeGrows: You have gi... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 23 Apr 2011, 10:29 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| ...Say what you just said here to her. That you don't like little things trickling out and that it makes it more difficult for you to place things into perspective... You give great advice. I have said it but they are still trickling out. Today's were particularly troubling but I am walking on thin... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 23 Apr 2011, 9:36 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| I'm posting here to try to get my feelings under control. I don't have anyone I can speak to about it until I can find a therapist. I thought things were going better. Last night was calm and actually enjoyable. Then right before bed and this morning more things trickled out. None of them are major ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 7:36 pm
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| ....In addition to your fiancee, maybe you have an older cousin, an Aunt, an Uncle, someone whom you feel is a pretty good listener?..... Good luck with everything. I know this time of your life sounds difficult. Keep talking with us here as it helps. Thank you very much. Posting here has helped me... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 7:32 pm
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| All perfectly understandable. But if you drive her away now you'll have to live with several things. Thank you for the good advice. It was exactly what I needed to calm down and get perspective. I am hopeful tonight that things will work out. I love her and want to work on them. We have been very s... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 6:40 pm
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Replies: 4,981
Views: 559,618
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Dear Jerk,
I know you planned that. Thank you for causing so much pain. I may learn to smile around you for her sake but I will always know. And you will always know that I know. Somehow that is satisfying.
Me |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 3:36 pm
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| I feel stuck between two bad choices. Nothing I do is really going to make this right. If I ask her too much about it, she has a complete meltdown. Last night I actually was afraid for her safety. I felt very helpless. But also, she promised me to do things like call when she gets out of work, home,... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Church Goers - I don't get it. |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 12:18 pm
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Replies: 41
Views: 4,484
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| I also had trouble with religion for a very long time. I tried many different places and felt so shunned that it began manifesting as an anger at God. One day I was at a tiny episcopal church and something changed in my thinking. I can't say all episcopal churches are like this, but this one is perf... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 11:56 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| yes, agreed. i am very suspicious about her story. in my experience, most grown-ups don't pile into a bed in a big cuddle-puddle like that under normal circumstances, without there being other activities involved. I have the same way of thinking as you. I will say, though, that she is NT but very m... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 11:43 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| I have been through much more extensive cheating that what you described...I was cheated on (capital C) and lied to extensively....there is a point past which one does not bounce back...but everyone's circumstances are different. Personally, I don't think I've ever really "bounced" back from being ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 1:21 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| I can kind of really focus in on one special person. Many NTs need a variety of people (that of course doesn't mean it needs to be an emotional affair). This and your post below are very accurate. The same is true for me. I have to remind myself that sometimes other people actually like being in th... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 1:17 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| Remember, the good parts, maybe tell her about that. And say to her, if need be, I'm who I am. And please try and ease away from blaming yourself for the last couple of months. This is very good advice. It is hard for me to accept that she did this on her own. It is so completely out of character. ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do you bounce back from "cheating"? |
| asparaguseye |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2011, 1:14 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 6,077
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| I don't think you should try dealing with it on your own. I think she needs to get some counseling, and you should strongly consider premarital counseling together as well. My greatest concern is not the kiss itself, but the emotional affair that likely led up to it. She's got to figure out why, in... |
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