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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: He calls it "Shut Down Mode" |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 13 Apr 2012, 2:51 pm
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Replies: 48
Views: 7,674
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| Well-put!! ! This post and the way it's written is thorough, helpful and easy to comprehend - thanks so very much for contributing this post...it enabled me to 'reset' my NT self in being with my Aspie!! :) thanks a bunch!! ! ~Catsas ^ this is it exactly. Shut down is actually him doing the best he ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2012, 11:10 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| He may be an AS, but that doesn't excuse bad, abusive behavior. Once one acknowledges they are indeed AS, they have a responsibility, if they choose to be in a relationship, to do the bulk of the work in dealing with THEIR AS, not their partner. Please don't take this wrong, but you seem to be doin... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2012, 10:56 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| He may be an AS, but that doesn't excuse bad, abusive behavior. Once one acknowledges they are indeed AS, they have a responsibility, if they choose to be in a relationship, to do the bulk of the work in dealing with THEIR AS, not their partner. Please don't take this wrong, but you seem to be doin... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2012, 8:22 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| Here's my opinion: He can be as agitated as he likes whenever something is triggered. He can rail, scream, punch his own house walls in the privacy of his own home. He cannot call you names or wish harm to you. Not ever. If he cannot get past that behavior, then game over. You cannot control his fe... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2012, 7:19 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| Well - the journey continues (or not?)... Background... I was the 'trigger' by changing plans - which I KNOW is a trigger for him... I screwed up, wasn't thinking about it at the time and suddenly changed plans and it did NOT go over well with him -- at all... What ensued after that was many phone c... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 04 Jan 2012, 1:51 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| To the OP, has it occurred to you your BF might take offense at you posting his email I assume without his knowledge or permission on this website and his story or your story? Just wondering.... I agree with all the posters who said read up on co dependency and take care of your self, he has been v... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 7:00 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| I can't thank you all enough for your support, advice and encouragement here last night. I learned, I felt supported and it was a huge comfort to me, so thank you - each and every one of you! Now that the work day is over - and everything has had a bit of time to settle...he is seeking to speak to m... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 3:20 am
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| I have talked to him and am trusting in the man that I care about - along with our re-pour with one another - I can not excuse my experience or panic here on this site tonight and I value everything that I wrote and was said here tonight. We may have a strange dynamic with one another - but it seems... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 2:25 am
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| Am talking to him now on the phone |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 1:18 am
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| OP, it's not that I don't believe your account - I'm trying to point out that his version of the events that took place between you two is stunningly different. I don't know what that means....is he in denial? Is he just manipulating you? Or is he disconnected from reality? If he's not taking medic... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 12:54 am
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| This feels like games to me - not enjoying playing them with his emotions - or worse!! ! I just want to call him and reiterate what I said in my last email - the 'brief one' that I( wrote... Do not over-react to a drunken, drug-educed incident by making it worse through doing something truly devasta... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 12:32 am
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| OP, he seems to have a very different account of what happened between you two. So.....I'm wondering if he's rationalizing, fantasizing, manipulating....or could this just be a difference in perspective? I've got to be honest - I'm just as concerned about your unwillingness to call the police as I ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 12:15 am
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| Sorry, I now can read the above posts, you didn't know he was messing with himself chemically. It was New Year's Eve and he was drinking. I had no idea that he didn't take his meds and I had no idea what was going on or what caused this meltdown that I experienced with him - nor have I ever experie... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 03 Jan 2012, 12:10 am
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| Catsis, I reread your email to him and he is over-reacting. You said that you would contact him when you are ready. His response does seem to be a veiled suicide note and the bit about blood on his face indicates self harming, I guess. When someone you know has contacted you with a suicide note; th... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 02 Jan 2012, 11:56 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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| if there is a crisis line in your area, call it. he needs help and you shouldn't be the one to try to give it right now. if you don't have a crisis line, the national suicide hotline is 1-800-273-talk. I have decided to mail him a reply....I have this done so far (below)...but am in a panic to fini... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
| Catsas |
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Posted: 02 Jan 2012, 11:26 pm
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Replies: 62
Views: 8,890
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Please read last posts in my other topic...
Supportive NT-seeking help with Aspie boyfriend issue! HELP |
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