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Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: "I don't know what you want" |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 3:09 am
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,514
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| She doesn't know specifically about AS, but we've discussed my tendencies and characteristics and she's accepted "that's just the way I am" and has even made a point to alter some of the ways she communicates with me. I feel the issue is bigger than foibles. I feel like I'm just not comprehending so... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: "I don't know what you want" |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 2:40 am
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,514
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Yes, she's an NT.
I feel like the ability to "know" when to give of myself, and when to insist on conserving myself, is out of my reach. Like I have no compass. I don't understand the rules, what's expected, or even precisely what I feel.
Thoughts? |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: "I don't know what you want" |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 2:37 am
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,514
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| Of course; I'd be glad to do so. I oscillate between caring for my needs (and tending to make her feel ignored) and becoming overly concerned with her needs (and tending to come off as a sycophant). Further, I often say / do the wrong thing, or find myself in situations where (1) I don't know where ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: "I don't know what you want" |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 28 Nov 2006, 12:38 am
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,514
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My dilemma.
I'm not responsive enough to her needs.
I'm overly-responsive to her needs.
Each time my phone rings, I dread it being her.
When we're together, I love being with her.
On any given day, "I don't know what you want" seems to be my clueless mantra.
HELP! |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: I dread my girlfriend, but love it when I'm with her. HELP! |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 11:36 pm
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Replies: 15
Views: 313
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| I've taken 9 years (I was 21, now I'm 30) to get myself together on this. I've done 7 years of therapy, have begun taking antidepressants and mood stabilizers, made very close friends who don't have my weaknesses, and have had the rough trial-and-error experiences that finally exemplified with burnt... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: what do you think of when you....? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 6:09 am
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Replies: 15
Views: 333
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| I'm very "typical guy" on this one. I need to SEE something. Sometimes pictures are enough, sometimes I need a few minutes of motion and sound instead. Over time, I've learned what I like looking at vis-a-vis a woman, which is cool to me since for a long time I only knew what I *didn't* like. As for... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: I dread my girlfriend, but love it when I'm with her. HELP! |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 5:56 am
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Replies: 15
Views: 313
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| I've had my first girlfriend in 7yrs (I'm 30) for the last four months, and I'm honestly torn over it. I like her company, and she doesn't ask for lots of time or attention or emotional energy, but like most NTs, she needs more than an Aspie likes to give. I really like being alone most of the time.... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: humanity: worthless? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 5:52 am
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Replies: 84
Views: 772
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| I fantasize about 99.999% percent of the population being wiped out by almost plague every day. Nice world if not for the people, most of the time. When Stephen King's "The Stand" came on television when I was in high school, the premise hit me so hard that each day when I'm outside, I picture that ... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: Male and Female Bodies: Which is worse? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 5:44 am
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Replies: 67
Views: 1,011
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| I hear you that it was a generalization; it's not ironclad. For me, it's just an attempt to understand the world around me on a basic level, since like American English, the rules exist - but are rarely applicable, except in the most GENERAL of ways. Me, I've actually had to work hard to unearth my ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: How do I get diagnosed for AS? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 5:37 am
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Replies: 4
Views: 609
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| Thank you. I actually repeated the post here on my reply to you for my other post. I just wish there was some "official" questionnaire that my psychologist scores or something. Hell, I'd gladly take a dozen ones that compete for interpretation. I just want something quantifiable, that can reasonably... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: I'm not sure how to deal with this... |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 5:24 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,014
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| Scintillate, I really appreciate your kind words. This is all very new to me, and it explains a great deal. You're right that some people don't "get it." Depending on on the person and how close I want to be, I usually say "I don't need you to understand it, only that you respect it - that it is inc... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: How do I get diagnosed for AS? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 5:12 am
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Replies: 4
Views: 609
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| I really need to know if I just lived a life that left me with AS symptoms and I just need to have more experiences, or if my AS is what has encouraged me to live my life as I have up until now. This is very IMPORTANT. My psychologist dismisses the idea that I'm AS, and tells me I'm grasping for a n... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: Male and Female Bodies: Which is worse? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 5:07 am
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Replies: 67
Views: 1,011
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| I love being a male in almost every way. The only thing that's ever gotten to me about it is the constant desire for sex; it leaves me feeling powerless before women, and for a man, that's a very difficult thing. It's only as I learned over time how incredibly INSECURE women are about their looks, t... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: Do some Aspie guys NEED their women to be Aspies? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 4:40 am
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Replies: 36
Views: 727
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| I always say the same thing on this: "I don't need another me. I already LIVE with me." So, basically, an understanding NT, for me at least, is the way to go. Way I see it, I want to develop the part of me that's not seen much daylight. Maybe I'll never EXPRESS my AS self "from the heart" as an NT, ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: I'm not sure how to deal with this... |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 4:25 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,014
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| This whole thing came up with my girlfriend of four months (first relationship in 7yrs!) just last night. Here's what we both got out of it (far as I can tell). For me, the only requirement of a friend is a willingness to believe me when I don't understand something. That is, that I'm not "pulling" ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Do you get tired of people? Is it just me or AS? |
| Rev_Zeb |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2006, 4:09 am
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Replies: 37
Views: 4,562
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| AMEN! I hate being so crowded here in SoCal; I'd leave if my career wasn't here for now. I want somewhere with much more open space. My first year here, I literally would spend entire nights trying to find a place in the area with no people or cars or bright light... couldn't. Thought I'd go crazy, ... |
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