| Author |
Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Flaky Aspie man - overpromising and underdelivering |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 03 Mar 2015, 7:01 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,609
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| Hello, just to give you all an update. He did reply and explained (like DW_a_mom suggested) he does mean everything he says, he likes to express what he feels in a spontaneous way, but then reality gets in the way. I was relieved to hear from him and he was his usual romantic self, at the same time ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Flaky Aspie man - overpromising and underdelivering |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 02 Mar 2015, 6:54 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,609
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| Yes on a rational level I agree I can't go on like this anymore. I think the main problem is that I can't keep repeating the same role, of the one who is forever understanding and patient, I'm tired of it and it's not allowing either of us to grow. Plus deep down I feel no urge to see him, which mus... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Flaky Aspie man - overpromising and underdelivering |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 01 Mar 2015, 12:41 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,609
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| Thank you for all your comments, they are really appreciated. Veteran I agree he is very much a people pleaser (and being a barrister he is very used to sugarcoating the truth), he wears his social mask very well but I can see through it and that's why our relationship lasted so long, despite being ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Flaky Aspie man - overpromising and underdelivering |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 28 Feb 2015, 1:15 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,609
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| Hello, I'm going through a hard time as I've realized that the relationship I had with a flaky man with seemingly autistic traits needs to come to an end. Being Aspie myself, I tend to be somebody who is reliable and conscientious to a fault. He is the opposite, flaky, unreliable, has been promising... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 13 Apr 2013, 8:21 am
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| Yes I agree totally. In my case both my parents are on the spectrum. As long as they are happy and content, then to some extent I'm happy to play a role. I love them dearly and wouldn't want to upset them. |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 02 Apr 2013, 11:26 am
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| I just wanted to post an update to reassure those mums that might have felt upset after reading my posts. I think I was panicking unecessarily (typically for me, black and white and tendency to catastrophising). My holiday with my parents is going very well, I've got tons to read, my parents are hap... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 26 Mar 2013, 1:19 pm
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| Basically yes, she depended on my sister a lot when we were growing up, now I'd say the emotional burden is mainly on me after my sister made her feelings known to her about her lack of mothering and the role reversal. I will try and explore walks in my area, it's a good idea, not something I normal... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 26 Mar 2013, 7:29 am
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| Thank you for all your replies. As said before, reading them makes me feel so much better as I've been harbouring difficult feelings towards my mum for a long time and the cumulative effect is getting hard to manage. Thank you ASDMommyASDKid, the theory of mind explanation is spot on. In a way I fee... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 25 Mar 2013, 6:10 pm
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| MumofThree I think your angry reaction is truly unjustified. I can assure you I keep and will keep treating my mother with respect, but I can't pretend I don't feel resentful because deep down I feel she is not attuned or trying to establish a true connection with me, I'm making all the adjustments ... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 25 Mar 2013, 12:48 pm
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| Yes that sounds like the perfect attitude to me MomofThree if you want to stay in your children's life, particularly when you do that because it's the right thing to do for yourself rather than worry about your children withdrawing. With my mum, there's just no way I can expect she'll be as enlighte... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 25 Mar 2013, 12:33 pm
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| Thank you Momsparky, that's exactly how I feel. I feel she keeps projecting her own fears or wishes onto me without really trying to find out whether that fits with me or not, even her constant counting down the days and weeks left before I get back is unbearable, and she keeps saying it on the phon... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 25 Mar 2013, 7:40 am
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| Thanks so much for your comments. To see that there are other people who understand my predicament made me feel much better. I tend to feel bad towards my mother if I say anything different from the norm because I know she gets hurt very easily and that's why I always try my best to keep the status ... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My mother and I - some advice please |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 24 Mar 2013, 3:08 pm
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Replies: 23
Views: 3,009
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| Hello, I'm writing from the point of view of an Aspie child and hope you can give me some advice regarding the relationship with my mother. I'm 42 and finding it really hard to relate to my mother. She has had little education and doesn't know what ASD is and I have no wish to tell her as I know she... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Struggle between rational and irrational |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 7:26 pm
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Replies: 4
Views: 781
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And you did the right thing sending that message, thank you! Yes sometimes we need to remind ourselves we are not that powerful in controlling events and that when we make plans God laughs 
Life is very much made of random chaotic events. |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Struggle between rational and irrational |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 17 Mar 2013, 3:44 pm
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Replies: 4
Views: 781
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| Thank you KateUher, yes it does help a lot to read I'm not the only one with an oversensitive brain :) I think I tend to feel the most distress when I fail to connect with somebody I care about because of some insecurity or a void I have to fill in or something else that has little to do with them. ... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Struggle between rational and irrational |
| Moonflower |
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Posted: 17 Mar 2013, 12:32 pm
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Replies: 4
Views: 781
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| Dear all, I wonder whether you've ever experienced what I've gone through today. I sent a message to a good friend asking if she's been to the doctor on Saturday as she's been telling me for weeks now that she is depressed and needs to visit a doctor to get some treatment. After sending it I had som... |
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