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Message |
Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: Is watching porn considered cheating? |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 28 Mar 2019, 11:37 am
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Replies: 27
Views: 314
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| In my previous relationship my partner seemed to prefer some type of porn (still images) and masturbation to physical intimacy with me. I certainly felt cheated. So yeah... In my current relationship, I know that my partner sometimes looks at porn solo and sometimes we look at it together. It doesn'... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Am I doomed? |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 26 Mar 2019, 3:57 am
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Replies: 128
Views: 5,143
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| If I were younger.... I would be totally dismissive of this maybe you'll find love in your 40s thing, too. But I'm in my LATE 40s and FINALLY finding someone who makes me really, really happy after years of loneliness and a terrible marriage and honestly I can only see the future really. Sometimes w... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: Sex |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 22 Mar 2019, 3:38 am
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Replies: 56
Views: 753
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| To the original poster and LonelyTogether - I am NT (as described on this forum) and my ex is I'm 99.9% certain on the spectrum. I am as certain as one can be without an official diagnosis. He experienced significant sexual dysfunction and most of our marriage fit the technical definition of sexless... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspergers Boyfriend Confuses Me? |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 05 Nov 2018, 10:47 am
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Replies: 31
Views: 1,030
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| One of my favourite lines from the modern Battlestar Galactica was when the commander (sorry can't remember character names) asked one of the crew if he had loved someone (who turned out to be a cylon) and he said "I only thought I did." And he replied "If you thought you loved her, y... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Romantic relationship - NPD vs ASD |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 05 Jun 2018, 6:25 am
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Replies: 7
Views: 606
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| A lot of NT people who have been in relationships with ASD say that the initial phases were very much like narcissistic lovebombing - the 'idealise' phase. I reckon this is because you become like a 'special interest' but alas, probably a passing one - certainly the intensity won't be as high. That ... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: My pregnant aspie wife is falling apart. |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 05 Jun 2018, 6:19 am
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Replies: 24
Views: 1,466
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| One of the things that made me feel absolutely awful during pregnancy is that I was treated like an incubator. What I hear is concern for baby and not necessarily her. I felt so alone during pregnancy. She may feel attacked re. the gd (especially if you are fighting over cereal). One of the best thi... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Winning An Ex Back Possible? |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 10 May 2018, 9:25 am
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Replies: 8
Views: 378
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| She was an extremely loving and patient person towards me despite my many shortcomings. Towards the end, she said she was willing to stick around me but I was the one pushing her away because one of my episodes had triggered and shut everyone out. I am a loving and patient person. I was married for... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: I'm 20 and still a virgin :( |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 10 May 2018, 9:14 am
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Replies: 50
Views: 669
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| My boyfriend was 22 or 23 when he first had sex - when he was in graduate school. I know he despaired of ever having a great sex life. He did have sex then and he had a number of relationships which included sex (including a marriage and children) but didn't have a lot of sex. We only met a year ago... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Giving women gifts is desperate, but stopping is entitled? |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 12 Feb 2018, 8:39 am
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Replies: 41
Views: 2,541
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| When I was dating, I expected the asker to pay. I always waited to be asked on a first date, so he always paid, but I'd also get drinks in if I was there first, etc. I always VERY happy with cheap dates and much preferred them as a first date. It puts neither of us under any great expectation. I wou... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Frustrated NT women with "AS"men. Victims or control freaks? |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 12 Feb 2018, 8:24 am
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Replies: 22
Views: 1,028
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| In my case it wasn't so much that I realised who he was and wanted to change him, it was more that I had a growing realisation of who he really was and what was ok with me also changed until I could no longer live with him. 1. When we first were going out he was besotted by me, which was pretty flat... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: why Does every girl hate me and reject me |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 16 Jan 2018, 9:09 am
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Replies: 5
Views: 1,886
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| Every girl doesn't hate you - that's catastrophic thinking. And frankly, you're not special enough to be hated by EVERY woman. However, in your original post, I saw nothing about what kind of girl you would like to meet, what kind of things you might do together, how you could share experiences toge... |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: how often could you give head? |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 11 Jan 2018, 9:28 am
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Replies: 44
Views: 746
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| Blow job to completion - well, rarely. As with my current partner it takes him forever to cum that way and it actually becomes uncomfortable for me, but also it makes me want to have intercourse, which he's 99.9% of the time happy to do. Oral sex as part of the whole deal? Usually daily. |
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Forum: Adult Autism Issues Topic: Sexless and Severely depressed. |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 11 Dec 2017, 5:05 am
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Replies: 29
Views: 1,081
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| The couples therapist may have perfectly good intentions, but if she is unable to acknowledge the importance of sex in a relationship to 'sex people' (people who need sex to have a healthy happy romantic relationship) then she is simply not the right therapist for you. To any asexuals in this discus... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Guys Paying on a Date |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 10 Dec 2017, 10:02 am
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Replies: 77
Views: 2,806
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| I like the guy to pay on first date and he has usually asked me. But if I ask, I pay or offer to. I usually try to do something cheap, a couple of drinks or coffee because I don't like the expectation on him paying for a big date. If it works out I'm at the bar first, for example, I'm happy to pick ... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Stepmom to possible aspie - help! |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 09 Dec 2017, 11:55 am
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Replies: 58
Views: 2,491
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| I've been mulling over this situation. OP, do you actually have any kids of your own? If you don't, that might be the source of 'treating the girls the same'. Parents generally learn pretty early on that what works for one child does not work the same way for another, and they adjust their approach... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Why Dating Is All Just A Game, And It's Hard |
| elkclan |
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Posted: 07 Dec 2017, 6:02 am
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Replies: 9
Views: 719
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| Dating is a just a game - in a way. And I can tell you that it's just as miserable and gruesome for women and NTs as it is for NDs and men. You fear rejection? Every time I met a new man, I had to fear rejection and a possible violent reaction to rejection. I'm a woman and believe me not all men wan... |
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