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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2014, 7:49 am
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| That sounds like depression talking, which can be a vicious spiral. Of course it takes more effort to find structured, therapeutic situations, but the regular, easy ones are a waste of time and optimism. Sometimes, all you can do is wait. I had a dozen therapists before finding much of a match. Hav... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Girls, how strict are you when it comes to looks? |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2014, 7:37 am
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Replies: 139
Views: 7,716
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| Speaking as a 19 year old male, looks don't matter at all. People tend to be with people who are similar on the "10 point scale" you see in movies, i.e. a 6 goes for a 6 and a 3 for a 3 etc. so you could be considered really ugly and still find someone so even when looks matter to people they tend t... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Real vs self proclaimed "nice guys" |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2014, 7:29 am
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Replies: 61
Views: 4,970
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| but if you are a nice guy then you tend to be dismissed as just a friend - this is usually because you are there for the girl but rather than making a move after some time (as you would if that was the only reason you're being nice, to get her into bed) you continue to be there for her which will g... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Real vs self proclaimed "nice guys" |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2014, 7:25 am
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Replies: 61
Views: 4,970
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| While I do wholeheartedly agree with the initial post in that those traits are the turn-off not the being nice but if you are a nice guy then you tend to be dismissed as just a friend - this is usually because you are there for the girl but rather than making a move after some time (as you would if... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Real vs self proclaimed "nice guys" |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 17 Mar 2014, 3:32 pm
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Replies: 61
Views: 4,970
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| While I do wholeheartedly agree with the initial post in that those traits are the turn-off not the being nice but if you are a nice guy then you tend to be dismissed as just a friend - this is usually because you are there for the girl but rather than making a move after some time (as you would if ... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 17 Mar 2014, 3:12 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| Did you practice with people who were aware that it was practice, and trying to help? If you are not "up to speed" with a regular, existing group, you'll just get teased until you leave. You might also try caring for a small animal, or volunteering to help with disabled people. Just don't get taken... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 17 Mar 2014, 12:21 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| It's not like you need to be with friends all the time but I would like if they understood a little. I would work on that but I can't even get to the stage where that's an issue because I can't befriend anyone anyway. I'm pretty much always eager just incapable. How about trying more formal practic... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
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Posted: 16 Mar 2014, 7:30 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| I don't know about eccentricity. Every single time I find something which interests me (generally from a range of mathematical journals, I don't only subscribe to particular subsets which I like e.g. number theory because even fields I don't like as much still have interesting results) then I focus... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 16 Mar 2014, 2:42 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| Does anyone else actually find it this hard or is it truly just me? Well, it definitely is not just you, because I really identified with your struggle. Some people talk about finding opportunities to be with other people, but I could be with other people all day, every day, and I still would not b... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 16 Mar 2014, 12:53 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| Aye, I don't find a lot of middle ground between boring and scary. For some people, I keep an egg timer handy, and threaten to use it to limit their speaking time. For me, the breakthrough was a lateral move, as Persig characterizes them. After my parents lost interest, I found some people they wou... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 16 Mar 2014, 12:48 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| Perhaps you can have a go at getting interested in another person or people, if only for perspective and practice. It is quite easy to get people talking about themselves with a few questions that show you are listening, and afterward, they feel closer to you, and more inclined to think that you ar... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 6:58 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| Perhaps you can have a go at getting interested in another person or people, if only for perspective and practice. It is quite easy to get people talking about themselves with a few questions that show you are listening, and afterward, they feel closer to you, and more inclined to think that you ar... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 6:56 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| I think a lot of people on this forum will be in the same boat as you. Making friends is difficult even if you have reasonable social skills. Friends need to be compatible people who have mutual respect for one another and often various circumstances break the flow of friendships and they fade away... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 6:04 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| It isn't just you. The books are like explanations of jokes, rather than instructions on how to tell one. The shallow social groups of school rely on quick, conditioned responses to establish commonality. Deeper relationships are based on empathy, which can be built if interest can be maintained. T... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: A truly Herculean task. |
| 3141592653589 |
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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 2:30 pm
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Replies: 22
Views: 2,093
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| Making friends would seem to be a relatively simple activity which everyone I know manages with ease yet for me it proves to be, as stated in the subject, a truly Herculean task. Unlike many of the other people posting here, I've never really been overtly bullied. I often felt in school that people ... |
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