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Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 03 Sep 2014, 4:15 pm
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| I started wondering how "many people" are defining alpha and did a 30-second search. I have not read the underlying studies upon which this article is based, and in fact only skimmed quickly through it (feeling a bit frustrated); however, right or wrong, it brings up some interesting points for futu... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 03 Sep 2014, 4:00 pm
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| I interpreted your words that way because if all you are saying is that I should be a nice and caring person then that kind of goes without saying... @TimmyBoy, I'm pretty sure I didn't say you should be a nice and caring person. And, if it goes without saying, why all the Sunday schools and civics... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 03 Sep 2014, 2:27 pm
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| I am not against reciprocity. I have no problem with it. But that's not the issue. The issue is that many people still firmly believe that men should pay without reciprocity when it comes to dates. @TimmyBoy, please also consider that many people do not understand even their own motivations. The fa... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 03 Sep 2014, 2:13 pm
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| Secondly, I included "dating" because it seemed important to you; however, I am not limiting these suggestions to dating. The practice of reciprocity is very close to universal and has a very long history. Also, it is not gender-based. I am not against reciprocity. I have no problem with it. But th... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 03 Sep 2014, 9:48 am
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| I do feel that the "yes all women" movement is changing the dating game whereby the world no longer abides to stereotypical chivalry. Who the hell knows what to do anymore? I feel like the gender lines are a lot more blurred, which I guess is a beginning sign of equality. I say beginning because we... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 03 Sep 2014, 9:27 am
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| If you're in a relationship, unless it's one of those relationships where the man can't feel manly unless he's always whipping out his big wallet, it goes back and forth. One of you will pick it up, then the other, or whoever doesn't have but ten bucks on them will pay the tip and the other will pi... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 03 Sep 2014, 9:14 am
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| @TimmyBoy I am afraid I've done a terrible job answering your post. You *should* eat your vegetables, but I am not your mother, and I tried to tell you I am only making suggestions based on my understanding of one cultural practice. Secondly, I included "dating" because it seemed important to you; h... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 02 Sep 2014, 3:34 pm
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| Thanks for your responses, particularly oddlyeffective. I can understand expecting the other person to pay if they expressly said that they would, e.g. that they would "treat you to dinner". But if we agree to "go out for dinner", then this sentence doesn't imply that I am going to pay merely becau... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 02 Sep 2014, 12:29 pm
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| * Men should accept that most women simply will not communicate directly like they do and learn to "take hints"/read minds, putting almost no stock in their words whatsoever. The problem for me is that I really don't like being forced to go along with arbitrary social rules that I don't agree with.... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 02 Sep 2014, 12:11 pm
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| * The man should actively communicate ambivalence about the relationship to portray himself as an alpha male with lots of options. * The man should show that he is a "leader" (why is this necessary?) by making a point of "taking charge" over trivial matters like what restaurant to go to. * Men shou... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Dating advice vs. gender equality |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 02 Sep 2014, 11:39 am
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Replies: 73
Views: 7,469
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| * The man is expected to pay for dates - at least the first one. The only (terrible) excuses that I have heard for this are the gender pay gap (widely discredited and irrelevant to an interaction within individuals) and the notion that the one who did the asking out should pay (non-sequitur). * Man... |
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Forum: Getting to know each other Topic: Hi |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 02 Sep 2014, 11:09 am
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Replies: 16
Views: 1,160
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| Hi, Dave. I'm rather new here, also. Sounds like you have a lot of stressful stuff going on right now. I'm glad you found the forum, and I look forward to learning more about your interests, etc. I take vitamin D when I'm stuck inside all day, and it seems to help. Although it could be a placebo eff... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Mechanics of forming friendships |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 02 Sep 2014, 10:55 am
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Replies: 17
Views: 2,861
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| @Iamandrew, everyone gets hurt, everyone gets healing. That's how relationships go not matter who you are. And, even if you don't invite people into your life, you need good executive functioning to know how to deal with living a more solo existence, e.g., dealing with loneliness, having less people... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Sarcasm |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 28 Aug 2014, 4:19 pm
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Replies: 6
Views: 2,698
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| I do not know the circumstances of your interactions with your husband, so I do not know your intentions in using sarcasm. It can, though, be rather hurtful to some people. Sometimes, people use sarcasm when angry and/or to insult someone. Whether people pretend it is playful banter or not, it's imp... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Blocked on Facebook |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 28 Aug 2014, 4:02 pm
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Replies: 2
Views: 1,398
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| There are many reasons he may not be responding to you, and it may be best for you to concentrate on the project and let him work out his communication problems himself. Maybe he is embarrassed he didn't do his part and doesn't want to be reminded of it. He knows how to get in touch with you if he f... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Need help explaining socializing issues to an NT |
| oddlyeffective |
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Posted: 28 Aug 2014, 3:53 pm
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Replies: 11
Views: 2,124
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| I have an NT friend right now that's trying to get me to go to a bar with her and try to start a conversation with someone. Are you certain you know the reason she is pressing you to go to a club with her? It may actually have nothing to do with you; therefore, your answers to her request could be ... |
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