What went wrong?

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Some backstory. I have been doing maths obsessively and have essentially learnt a level maths in a month. However, I have a lot of school refusal issues and that is a story for another day but basically it just now feels like when I do maths at home it is doing maths at school which makes me feel ill. I would like to know if anyone has any advice or explanations as to why this is happening. Oh, and I just turned 14.

I also generally perform poorly in exams due to anxiety etc. which does not help but I wish there was a way I could learn lots of maths, especially university level, at home without using textbooks so much. Any suggestions?

Try www.khanacademy.org

It's designed primarily for high school level subjects so you might have already mastered most of what it has to offer, but it's a good non-classroom format for learning and it's free.

I could tutor you on how to 1. be calm in such situations and 2. in math, I have gotten over 100% in several math classes. At age 18, I highly doubt you have taken a level of math I haven't.

The problem you have is a common problem among people who excel at mathematics. You are afraid to be evaluated, tested. You are afraid of being measured and not being as good as you'd like to be. Well, trust me, there is always someone better than you. You'll learn that eventualy. Once you start to have realistic expectations, you will not have so much anxiety in tests, or in school.

Now, don't get me wrong. As I've implied earlier, you excel at mathematics. It's just that until we find people more inteligent than ourselves, we always feel the need for being the best. And that makes our test performance weaker.

There was a study made about inteligence and hardwork in children. A group of children were divided in two groups. They were given tests. On the first group they said that they did very well and that was because they were hardworking. On the other they said they did very well because they were very bright. Then they tested the performance of the two groups a second time. The "hardworking" ones got about the same performance. The "inteligent" ones performed worse. This experiment demonstrates that the pressure to be inteligent is detrimental for your performance. So you have to stop worrying about it.

You already know you are bright. Now just focus on the hardwork. Learn math from the khan academy, including university level math. Don't get discouraged by not being chalenged at school. And finaly, you have to realise that you will face dozens and dozens more tests in your life, so it's better that you learn how to deal with fear of being tested asap.

I think I may have put myself across badly. I'm not very good at it. I am not a person who cares about intelligence as in my opinion real intelligence is about the output not what you're born with. I only consider myself to be a very hard worker and will spend all day doing maths. I don't believe that supposed iq makes a difference as its what you do that will actually make a difference. I do maths because I see the beauty not to prove or seek intelligence assurance.

Another point is that I don't have or want this view of not being the best as that has not been what the best mathematicians have ever viewed. It is unbelievably hard to be excellent at maths but I have no worry over other people as I'm happy as long as I'm doing maths and I think everyone can be the best but at their own area of maths as that is what you can specialise in later on.

Why do you doubt I can do a level maths? I hope I don't come across as arrogant but I can and I can't just deny it surely.

All points are for different people btw. Also, if I come across as rude I'm sorry in advance.

Thanks for all feedback so far. I did use khan academy to learn a lot of it but thanks for the suggestion.

I don´t know why you feel ill when doing math at home, but if I had to make a guess, I´d say you´re working too hard. Your brain needs time to absorb all the information, and if you don´t give it that time, you can begin to feel ill. Your capacity to learn new math skills and solve problems will also begin to deteriorate. What to do about it is obvious. Relax a while, go do something else you enjoy, or just loaf around a bit.

Apart from Khan Academy, there are also the MOOCs (Massive Online Open Courses) that offer math courses at undergraduate and graduate level. They have video lectures, and sometimes extra reading from a textbood, but often it isn't necessary to read the textbook to complete the course. They also have practice problems/home work and one or more exams.

Udacity

These courses are self-paced and you can begin any time you like and take as long as you like to complete the course.

Coursera

These are scheduled courses. If you want to earn a certificate, you´ll have to keep up with the course schedule.

edX

Same as Coursera, also scheduled.

Thanks

I want to encourage you to learn at whatever pace you desire.
I believe you that you are at A level Maths at your age and that is a laudable accomplishment.
MOOC's are a good idea.
Stanford, MIT and Harvard have some great material online.
There are many Maths teachers to all levels on Youtube...some suck but some are excellent.
Cambridge has all of their quizzes and tests online that they use at Trinity College.

If you want you can PM me.
I try to help young gifted individuals online because I can relate to their autodidact abilities, and struggles.
Take care.
:):):):):):):)

Strangely enough, I had that issue when I was doing exams, my performance is normally not at my best and normally anxieties really kick in which I believe is a common problem with many people in general.



Couldn't have said it better myself?

@Tridian: The fact that you are hard working right, you might actually do better than you would have intended to.
Nowadays, if you have like learning difficulty or autism/aspergers, you might be entitled to extra time to do your exams but I don't know if that is the case with you?

I have had some interactions with Tridian....OMFG!! !...brilliant....this individual is profoundly gifted and going places!