Post your nerdiest joke(s)

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wbport
Sea Gull

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 220

26 Oct 2016, 10:03 pm

Rudin wrote:

Commander wrote:

Two chemist walk into a bar. The first one ask for some H20 and the second one ask for H202

The other chemist dies. It's a classic. I felt a compulsion to finish the joke because of my closure issues and because I don't understand how the emoticon ":o" is appropriate.

He asks for H2O too. Makes no sense with a number 2 there.

fiber bundle
Deinonychus

Joined: 20 Sep 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 319
Location: USA

10 Nov 2016, 4:16 pm

fiber@bundle:~$ nice ./joke
nobody likes joke
Segmentation fault

fiber bundle
Deinonychus

Joined: 20 Sep 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 319
Location: USA

10 Nov 2016, 4:30 pm

Rudin wrote:

i and pi get into a fight,

i: Oh, be rational.

pi: Get real

i is a hypocrite!

jmjelde
Blue Jay

Joined: 21 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 76
Location: Chapel Hill, NC

10 Nov 2016, 4:53 pm

I hope art nerds are acceptable.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold down the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly painted bicycles.

BaalChatzaf
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13 Nov 2016, 9:16 am

A Higgs Boson walked into a bar and most of the customers gathered around him.

A Higgs Boson told the Priest "I am the only reason you Catholics can say Mass"

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GMUnicorns
Hummingbird

Joined: 29 Oct 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 20

16 Nov 2016, 11:01 pm

Oh these are too funny! Love the one with the doctors especially. However there are no biology jokes! Let me change that with a cheesy pick-up line I learned from a lecturer (say it aloud to get the pun, I did it this way so those who are not familiar with genetics will get it):

If I were an enzyme, I'd be helicase, because I'll unzip your genes.

saxgeek
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Age: 29
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29 Nov 2016, 11:04 pm

I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

F84.9
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 18 Nov 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 58

01 Dec 2016, 3:13 pm

Guy asks a girl: Do you know Assembly? She answers: NOP.

saxgeek
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01 Dec 2016, 6:47 pm

http://www.sanitarium.net/jokes/getjoke.cgi?71

The error messages on modern versions of Bash differ on some of them, but it's still funny.

wbport
Sea Gull

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 220

20 Feb 2017, 7:44 am

Enigmawebs wrote:

Alot of the jokes here require some manner of intelligence. That and it was the first thing I thought of for nerd jokes.

That's true. If you know Mallard is a type of duck, have seen your share of old Disney cartoons, and have heard of a classical composer named Gustav Mahler you can get the joke "What do you get when you cross Gustav with Daffy? A Mahlered Duck." :wink:

naturalplastic
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20 Feb 2017, 5:44 pm

wbport wrote:

Enigmawebs wrote:

Alot of the jokes here require some manner of intelligence. That and it was the first thing I thought of for nerd jokes.

That's true. If you know Mallard is a type of duck, have seen your share of old Disney cartoons, and have heard of a classical composer named Gustav Mahler you can get the joke "What do you get when you cross Gustav with Daffy? A Mahlered Duck." :wink:

Daffy is the Warner Brothers Looney Tunes duck.

Donald is the Disney duck!

Get your ducks in a row please! :lol:

ranthaman
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 24 Feb 2017
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 40

25 Feb 2017, 1:45 am

I'm not a real geek but I play one on the internet

16 sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by batman

why did the programmer quit his job? because he couldn't get a raise

a man's wife just gives birth so he asks the doctor "is it a boy or a girl"?
the doctor says "yes"

java programmers wear glasses because they don't C#

#wife {
right: 100%;
margin:0;
}
//not really a joke but cute

#titanic {
float:none;
}

#santa {
padding:100%;
}

#fear {
display:none;
}

installed linux, we had a bash

There's no place like ~

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IstominFan
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25 Feb 2017, 11:03 pm

What causes feline chemical reactions?

A CAT-alyst

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