Science/mathematical jokes

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Did you hear the one about the Statistician?

...Probably.

That's jokes rather average...

...now that I think about it, it might even be mean....

...on the other hand, maybe I'm just stuck on the median here, because now that I think about it, you might have started a new mode.

I'll have you quartiled!

Gotta love math puns.

Now, now, let's not create a negative correlation between you two!

There are 10 kinds of people.

Those who understand binary and those who don't.

nice jokes I have a new one:

an engineer, physicist, chemist and a software designer are driving in a car on the highway. Then suddenly the car makes some cracking noise and stops. At the road side they try to find out what to do. The engineer says some drive belt must be broken we should fix it. No no, says the physicist, the spark plugs must be dirty we should clean them. On which the chemist replies: your totally wrong, it must be the fuel it is contaminated, we should filter it. Then they look at the software designer and ask him how he would fix the problem, he answers: Maybe it would work again if we all get out of the car and then enter it again.

Q: What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?


A: Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski

This one is more of a joke in favor of mathematics vs. other professions, but it's still funny.

Q: What is the difference between a doctor, a historian, a lawyer, and a mathematician?

A: If you tell a doctor your problem you get a pill, if you tell a historian your problem you get a lecture, if you tell a lawyer your problem you get a bill, and if you tell a mathematician your problem you get an answer!

C:\DOS>


C:\DOS>RUN


RUN, DOS RUN!

Why are white bears soluble in water?
They're polar.

What is more stable, coffee beans or coffee powder?
Coffee powder because it's in the ground state.

This is actually wrong, because the first is 2^0 and everything to the power of zero is one, so there is 1 type of people. Actually you should say there are 01 types of people because the second is 2^1 and that is 2. The joke in itself is making fun of itself because the joke doesn't make sense if you actually do know binary.

no it´s quite right, as 2 is 10 in binary, you shouldn't think about what is the first and what is the second

but another joke:

when you dial a non existing number they should say:
This number is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

and this one:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omyUncKI7oU[/youtube]

Apparently it depends if you're using a big-endian or little-endian system or something. To general non-coding plebs like myself, 10 is read as [(1*(2^1))+(0*(2^0))] therefore the joke works. If I've got this wrong apologies, my main source is listening to an argument at a pub quiz.

This is getting a bit off-topic, but still...

Binary is just like decimal except that each digit has only 2 possible values, 0 or 1.

In decimal (base 10), the first (rightmost) digit represent multiples of 1 (10^0), the second represents multiples of 10 (10^1), the third multiples of 100 (10^2) and so on, therefore 10 is 1 ten and 0 ones.

In binary (base 2), the first still represents multiples of 1 (2^0), but the second now represents multiples of 2 (2^1), and the third multiples of 4 (2^2) and so on, therefore 10 is 1 two and 0 ones.

So, in binary 0=0, 1=1, 2=10, 3=11, 4=100, 5=101, 6=110, 7=111 ...

Big-endian or little-endian only comes into play in computers (or digital electronics), and is a result of the way the memory and/or processor organises the bits and bytes. Endian-ness does not affect the number base for which the convention is least significant digits on the right, most significant digits on the left.

nooooo! I was gonna say that one!