Post your nerdiest joke(s)

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Joined: 5 Jan 2010
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02 Oct 2015, 2:04 pm

Here is a Vulcan version of a Knock Knock joke:

Knock Knock.
Who is there?
It is I. Now open the door.
I cannot. Identification is required.
You are not acting logically. I will take my leave.
If that is your wish, then go.

I guess that's more of a geeky joke than a nerdy joke (there's a difference!), but Star Trek jokes are the closest I know to being nerdy.

OliveOilMom
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02 Oct 2015, 10:35 pm

There are 10 kinds of people in this world.

Those who know binary code and those who don't.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Rudin
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04 Oct 2015, 6:27 pm

b9 wrote:

Herschel wrote:

What do you get if you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

an apex parasite

Nope.

You can't cross a vector and a scalar. Funny.

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"God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on with prime numbers."

-Paul Erdos

"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider

Rudin
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04 Oct 2015, 6:31 pm

Titangeek wrote:

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

99999999977 (largest 11-digit prime number)

A very similar joke to There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t. Is,

4/3 people understand fractions.

Commander
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04 Oct 2015, 6:34 pm

Two chemist walk into a bar. The first one ask for some H20 and the second one ask for H202

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Stay classy WrongPlanet

Rudin
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04 Oct 2015, 7:08 pm

Commander wrote:

Two chemist walk into a bar. The first one ask for some H20 and the second one ask for H202

The other chemist dies. It's a classic. I felt a compulsion to finish the joke because of my closure issues and because I don't understand how the emoticon ":o" is appropriate.

Rudin
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04 Oct 2015, 7:12 pm

Tollorin wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

Why dont mathmaticians distinquish Halloween from Christmas?

Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

Don't understand that one.

TM wrote:

Sorry to say that, but this is deep misconception about history here.

TM wrote:

Where his armor bonus come from?

Because 31 in base 8 is 25 in base 10.

naturalplastic
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04 Oct 2015, 7:26 pm

Rudin wrote:

b9 wrote:

Herschel wrote:

What do you get if you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

an apex parasite

Nope.

You can't cross a vector and a scalar. Funny.

That punchline was already posted above in the thread.

He extracted the set up without the punchline to give his own punchline.

Rudin
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17 Oct 2015, 11:11 am

i and pi get into a fight,

i: Oh, be rational.

pi: Get real

bicentennialman
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17 Oct 2015, 11:31 am

A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church. "Thank God you're here!" the priest says. "Now we can have mass!"

Werner Heisenberg is pulled over by a policeman. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" says the officer. "No," replies Heisenberg, "but I'm pretty sure where I am."

NotAnEvilRobot
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23 Oct 2016, 1:53 am

What's a ghost's favorite kind of math?

Boolean Algebra.

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TristahK
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23 Oct 2016, 1:58 am

What name do you give to a rectangular bear after coordinate transformation?

a polar bear

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 162 of 200
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TristahK
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23 Oct 2016, 1:59 am

Q: A hunter walks one mile south, one mile east and one mile north in that same order. He ended on the same place. What did he hunt?

A: A polar bear.

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 162 of 200
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b9
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23 Oct 2016, 2:21 am

trying to make some up but i am not in the mood much....

Q: what do tee-totalling puritan nymphomaniacs and the number 15 have in common?
A: they are both square roots.

(could have used any number there but people will wonder about the "15" bit and i will never tell them)

fourcandles
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23 Oct 2016, 4:57 pm

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem.

naturalplastic
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24 Oct 2016, 6:44 am

fourcandles wrote:

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem.

I actually LOL'ed to this!

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