Science/mathematical jokes

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Dunno if anyone's posted this one yet, but one of my favorites:

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, we don't serve noble gasses here." Helium doesn't react.

And so I'm not just critiquing the telling of other jokes, here's one of my favorites:

e^x was a gangsta, and with his lieutenants cosx and sinx, he controlled all the town's crime. Until one fateful day, some young upstart called the differential started muscling in on his territory. Protection rackets were the start. Variables and constants alike started fleeing town, afraid of what the differential would do to them. e^x laughed this off. Even after his lieutenants one having been switched, and the other being made negative by the differential's actions, ran off, e^x said, "You lot are bloody cowards. It's time I shut this upstart differential down once and for all."

So e^x challenged the differential to a showdown. They met in the high street, and e^x said to the differential, "Now see here you little pipsqueak, I'm e^x. You can't hurt me, I'll stay the same no matter what you throw at me, so why don't you piss off back to sideways-ville."

The differential laughed and said,"Do you know what they call me back in sideways-ville?"

e^x barked a laugh saying, "Why should I care?"

"Because," said the differential, "My whole town is perpendicular to you lot. I'm d/dy, and you're MINE, b***h!"

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Ok. so I drew it out a bit too long, but I hope it's still funny. lol

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Imagine Steven Wright reading this to you:

"I took a class in quantum physics, during the class i got a text message from my wife on my cell phone. She wrote 'Where are you?' and i replied 'i dont know'."


And no, Wright didnt create this one, i did, but it would be SO much cooler if Steven had written it

Nearest thing to a joke for database geeks.

I used to work on MS SQL Server for a snack food company and once I had to make a huge query about cake. So I broke it down using temporary tables. I was talking to a colleague about it and someone came by from another department and was shocked to hear us talking about ... what seemed to them to be ... DRUGS!

Anyone guess why?

what are you when you get your parents shocked by electricity

There are 11 types of people in the world: those who understand unary, and those who don't.

There's one basic type of array out there, those who start their index at 1, and those who start their index at 0.

What do you call a Selenologist who has Tourette's Syndrome?
A lunatic.

I remember this thread. I thought it would be nice to tell some more of these jokes.

Here's one:

A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer were on a farm trying to work out the best way to design a sheep pen with a certain length of fence.

So the engineer builds a square pen with a gate on one side and says "There you go, a nice practical solution".

The physicist replies "No, no, no. I can build a better one". So he removes the fence and builds a circular pen and says "See, the circular shape provides the maximum area for a given length because the ratio of area to circumference is highest".

Then the mathematician replies "No, I can do better than this". So he takes the fence and builds a tiny pen around himself and says "I define the place where I'm standing to be outside the pen".