Mathematical Jokes.

Post Reply New Topic

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one orders H2O; the second one says: "I'll have H2O too". Then the second scientist dies.

When Noah's Ark finally reached land, Noah told all the animals to go forth and multiply. They all did just that--all except the snakes. When Noah asked the couple why they were not breeding, the snakes replied, "Go get us some logs." So Noah went into the forest, chopped down some trees, and brought them back to the snakes. They thanked him, and when Noah returned, he found that, indeed, there were several baby snakes slithering around. Puzzled, Noah asked, "Why did you need me to cut down all those trees?" The snakes replied, "We're adders. We need logs to multiply."

One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math and wants to be a fireman. So, the mathematician walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman.

The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy. I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test."
The firechief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spicket, and a hose. The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?" The mathematician replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spicket, turn the water on, and put out the fire." The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?" The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and the finally says, "I light the dumpster on fire." The chief yells, "What? That's horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?" The mathematician replies, "Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I've already solved."

Q: What do you call a percussion instrument made out of wood?
A: A log rhythm.

Q: What do you do with a document that requires 2 signatures on it?
A: sign and cosign.

Q: What do you say about a woman who's both beautiful and fat?
A: obtuse and a cute but never just right.

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness a and radius z?
pi z z a

Anyone know of math jokes that will immediately ID the person hearing it as someone who has studied a lot of it?
For example: "The number you have reached is imaginary, please rotate your phone 90 degrees."