I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm running out of time.

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This is really more of work skills/finding a job post but I'd like to have it here because I might get more answers from people who know more about the field.

I want to be a programmer or a web designer but I'm 26 and I want to make sure that I take the simplest route in achieving this.

I haven't decided which yet. I know web design easier and some areas and I would like it because I do have an excessive amount of creativity and while I'm good with mundane tasks, I might get bored with programming.

My current option is community college and I'm not sure if this is the way to go. Do I really need to spend four years to get a job in this field? I'm not even sure how these degrees work, from what I can tell there's the two year degree and then more(optional) certification afterward which appears to be another one or two year program.

I know that some people just teach themselves and I've started to in the past, even as a teenager and picked up on everything pretty quickly but I NEED structure, and I'm also not sure how those that teach themselves become certified. Where do they go? Aren't there short term programs, at vocational schools? Could I get the same degree/certification there? I absolutely, positively, need to have some sort of certification for own sanity.

I am absolutely CLUELESS and I really need help. I know this is something I'd be good at but I don't think anyone's going to believe me if I can't get some concrete information and formulate SOME kind of plan, once I believe that I can do something and project some sort of confidence about it I feel much better. If I feel like I'm going to fail, everything just snowballs.

I am very good with organizing data and am very much a left-brained person but I have pretty severe issues with executive function and making plans for the future, I tend to do everything the hard way, so I am very open to suggestions, I don't want to make this difficult for myself. Any help would be greatly appreciated and PLEASE give it to me straight. I'm too old to beat around the bush xD

If you're very disciplined and already understand the fundamentals of the skillset you should be able to demonstrate it via a portfolio. I went to college for other stuff but am working on transitioning into web design. I used to work in IT and that had nothing to do with my studies either. Some places just want you to have gone to college, but honestly, if you can prove your skills I don't think it's really mandatory.

Also, 26 is still very young. People change careers at every stage. Even though you've been in the work world for probably 6 or more years, people my age and older will probably see you as just starting out no matter what you do.

lynda.com has really great video tutorials I've been working through. It's a lot cheaper than college or computer school classes and you can move at your own pace which I would assume is probably faster than what a class can do.

I changed careers at 28 or 29 =P so far so good.
If you are willing to put a 200% effort into it, do it.
A career is not needed AFAICT for web design. Get some good learning tools (sites, tutorials) and DIVE into it.
When you have skills you don't get asked about your diploma.