Flash is generally frowned upon for webdesign where other languages would do the same thing. There's always a lag in loading the plugin, and some people don't even have Flash installed for various reasons. HTML and CSS can go a long way if you really know what you're doing. I've designed a few websites in my time, and I can show you some examples if you like.
Also, your blog is pretty fascinating, especially your list of Aspies. Dan Aykroyd? Keanu Reeves? Steven Spielberg? Wow...