This is a programmer joke:
I suggest you try learning INTERCAL. Once you have mastered that, no other language will cause you any problems.
Although I haven't used it, Piet looks good if you like graphics.
Also, if you prefer to save on files by writing in two languages at once, Whitespace would be your language of second choice.
End of joke.
If you are not sure which language to go for, why not try them all? On here, I have currently got installed the following: C, C++, Java, KTurtle(?), mono (C#, etc), boo, TCL, bwbasic, gforth, INTERCAL(yes!), pforth, yabasic, yforth, Perl, Python, PHP. I may well have a few more. That was just a quick scan through.
Oh! I forgot my 68K based Minerva with its SuperBASIC and my own various implementations of Forth.
Also, I've got flex/bison for whenever I want to produce a compiler for a new language (or to re-implement an old one).
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So what are these "problems" that you describe as "the things I would like to do are light-years away from any beginning programming"?
Technically speaking, all computer languages are the same as one another. However, it may well be that the language that best fits your problem may be one like awk, Pascal, LISP, Focal, Algol, PL/I, APL, squeak(Smalltalk), Beef, Coral, BCPL, Eiffel, erlang, Fortran, G, Haskell, M4, Occam, Prolog, Ruby, Unlambda, or a few thousand others.
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"Striking up conversations with strangers is an autistic person's version of extreme sports."
Kamran Nazeer