Favorite South Park quotes

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What is everybody's favorite quotes from South Park?

from Butters' Very Own Episode:

Butters (after finding his dad in the bath house): Hey, dad! I found a good anniversary present for Mom. Do you think she'll like it? What are you doing with your wiener out there?

from Osama bin Laden has Farty Pants:

Cartman (commenting on Kabul): This is just like East Denver.

from Goobacks:

Various people throughout the episode: They took 'er jobs!

from The Return of Chef:

Cartman (just before Chef dies): I heard that before you die, the very last thing you do is crap your pants. (Chef does exactly that)

Tim

Okay, at the risk of being crude...

From "Jarod has Aides". Butters has been grounded, Cartman comes over to Butters' house to cover for him because Butters' parents call him to check up on him. And so when Butters' dad calls, Cartman answers, pretending to be Butters.

Butters' Dad: "I'm just checkig in on you, Butters... Do I hear the television? We told you no television while you're grounded!"
Cartman: "Oh, gee whiz, I'm not watchin' television, Dad. I'm just layin' around jackin' it."
Butters' Dad: "Jacking it? Jacking what?"
Cartman: "Well my hot spicy boner, of course, Dad!"

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha i made you eat your parents-Cartman

Respect my authoritah!! !

Quote #1 - From "The Rainforest episode"

Kyle: "Oh My God, They Killed Kenny!

Kenny's Girfriend: Who are they?

Kyle: They...the people up there...The..bastards"

Quote #2

Cartman: "I wasn't sleeping, I was just thinking really heard."

Drugs are bad, mm'kay.

Kick the baby. ("Don't kick the baby")

Jewish people can't eat Christmas snow.
(And Kyle says, "There's no Jews in San Francisco, you ret*d")

I'm gonna stick my finger up his butt-hole

I'm sorry, Wendy. I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

So many I cannot name them all.

Tim

"You see homeless people and you just don't care!"

"Guard dogs! I HATE f*cking guard dogs!"

"Satan... your ass is gigantic and red. Who else could you possibly be - Lisa Minelli?"

"Aah! You like that, don't ya b***h?"

"I almost shot clue goo all over Joe."

Satan: "Chris! But I thought you were dead!"
Chris: "Yeah, well, where was I gonna go? Detroit?"

If you want to cross-breed and elephant and a pig, you just have to get them to make sweet lurvv.

Cartman: Respect ma AUTHORITA!! !

Cartman: Ohhhhh, rainBOWS.
Kyle (I think): Yeah, what'd you think he said?
C: Nothing, nevermind, let's go!

and, 'But meeeeehm'
and my personal fave: "Screw you, hippie!"

Woodland Critter Christmas was a pretty good one.

The bumper for the ad break:
Singers: What special time and what special day, it's woodland critter Christmas!
Squirelly: (Pops out of a hole) Hail Satan!

Narrator: High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak,
the horrid mountain lion and preyed on the weak.
For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat...
Stan: Goddamnit, this is ****ing ridiculous!
Narrator: Said the little boy in the red poofball hat.

Rabbity: Yay! Sacrifice me to the Devil!

Narrator: He ran out the living room, turned out the light,
and went back to the forest to set everything right!
(Stan just sits down and watches TV)
Narrator: ... and went back to the forest to set everything right!
He tried to forget all about it by watching TV
but his conscience caught up with him and to the forest he did flee.
... He thought he could hide from his problems - not true!
He knew in his heart the thing he had to do!
Stan: Leave me alone!
Narrator: He knew that only by going to the forest could he-
Stan: All right all right all right! God!

Narrator: Where can they learn that?" the boy said with a frown.
"I know! The abortion clinic just outside of town."
Stan: What?!
Narrator: So he picked up the cubs and down the mountain he stormed.
And took them to where abortions are performed.
Stan: No, he didn't.
Narrator: Yes he did.
Stan: No, he didn't!
Narrator: Yes he did.
Stan: No, he didn't!!
Narrator: Yes he (Stan suddenly appears in the abortion clinic) did!
Stan: Aw, Goddamnit!

Part of the Christmas song in the episode:
It's once a year, it's Christmastime!
And it happens once a year.
It's once a year, it's Christmastime!
When we hear about how Christmas only comes
Once a year.

And the ending, which makes it even clearer that Cartman is telling the story:
Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later.
Kyle: (Offscreen) Goddamnit Cartman!

I mean, everyone in the world crapped themselves cos of you, and that's pretty cool.