Worst Films you've ever seen

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1) Epic Movie
2) Sunshine
3) Son of the Mask
4) Mirrors
5) Man on a Ledge
6) Twilight movies

I thought Sunshine was great, assuming we are talking about the same movie, the sci-fi film that came out a few years ago. Though the promotional campaign for it sucked, especially their website which basically spoiled the ending of the movie right on the main page.

Friend of mine hated it though, constantly bitched about them getting the science in the movie all wrong. We've learned not to take that particular friend with us when we see sci-fi movies.

Too many to list, but off the top of my head - the live-action Michael Bay Transformers movies. I thought the first one was complete and utter s**t while everyone else thought it was awesome. It sucks they had to make two sequels for everyone to finally catch on as to how god-awful the films really are.

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Transformers
Dragonball: Evolution

1. 13 (remake of 13 Tzameti) - Dear god this movie was beyond awful. Absolutely mind-blowingly atrocious.
2. Cut
3. The Happening
4. Babylon AD
5. The Day the Earth Stood Still (remake)
6. Hana-bi (what's with all the praise for Takeshi Kitano? I can't stand his acting)

Please don't tell me you're talking about Danny Boyle's Sunshine >_< That's one of my favourite movies!

"The Shining" by Stanley Kubrick - Jack Nicolson's over-the-top performance just came across as a lot of noise and thrashing about with out much real sense of menace. Shelly Duval's character was treated like an idiot. Many of Kubrick's creative choices seemed more like he was trying to recapture the success he had with "A Clockwork Orange" rather than trying to tell the story in a way that intelligently interpreted the book. (I don't have a problem with altering the style of the story - he did it to great success with "A Clockwork Orange" but I do object to taking a good story and mucking about only for the sake of putting your creative mark on it. If you are going to make a radical creative choice, do it in order to tell the story in a better way.)

"Lady in the Water" by M. Night Shyamalan - Astoundingly bad in so many ways. I haven't watched any of his subsequent films. He may have topped himself but I'm not going to subject myself to anything else by this guy.

"Ride with the Devil" by Ang Lee - Now I like long boring films as much as the next guy... But this thing doesn't seem to build any tension or pursue any kind of story. It actually makes a Bella Tarr film seem exciting.

"Three Women" by Robert Altman - Yeah, okay, so what? Maybe it's a good film and I just didn't get it. It just came across as artificial psycho-drama. I could see a story about one person's personality overwhelming another's but it had to be done it a way that is psychologically believeable. I didn't buy the action in this film.

"Sunshine" by Danny Boyle - Are you kidding? It's 90210 in space! The film follows a set of pretty, but not terribly competent astronauts on a mission to get the sun burning to it's previous brightness. While maneuvering the ship, a task you would assume would be done carefully by a flight team, but here is done by one person on a whim, the ship is damaged imperiling the mission. Then some extreme sun tanning enthusiast goes crazy and turns the film into some idiotic vampires in space horror flick. I'll give the film makers credit for trying something new and different, but it's still a load of hooey.

I am pleased to say that most of the epic disasters listed in this thread have passed me by unseen.

But I have been subjected to some real stinkers. So lets start with disastrous Oscar winners:

Titanic. 45 minutes of good film, ruined by two and a half hours in which anyone is heard speaking a line. The single exception is the scene between Frances Fisher and Kate Winslet, that is the only piece of decent acting during this 3 hour and 15 minute monstrosity. Still, that scene is enough to make this only the third worst film to win the Best Picture Oscar that I have seen.

Forrest Gump. 8,520 seconds of the most mind numbing pubulum ever to masquerade as a motion picture. But even this pales in comparison to the complete disaster that is: The Greatest Show on Earth.

For the sake of completeness, I have not seen such roundly panned winners as Around the World in 80 Days or The Great Ziegfield. I didn't hate American Beauty enough to displace Titanic (but Braveheart was in the running). And though I consider Oliver! win to be a travesty given the other options on the 1968 ballot, I don't consider it, in and of itself, to be a disastrously bad movie.

As for the worst thing that I have been dragged to a cinema and forced to sit through in the last two years, there are three contenders (there are probably worse ones out there, but fortunately I haven't been exposed to them).

I Am Number Four which is science-fictions answer to T-why-light (which I have steadfastly refused to watch),
Battle L.A. about which the less said the better, and
John Carter which was so bad apparently the Martian population got an injunction to keep, "of Mars" out of the title.

In each of these three lamentable cases, I have seen better films forming on stagnant ponds.

Wow, people hating on Sunshine and Forest Gump in this thread. What has this world come to? I also happened to like John Carter.



Worst movie I have sat through in a theater though, was Seven Years in Tibet. I was around 14 I think, my Mom had bought my sister and I tickets to see a different movie, but it was rated R and when they realized our parents were not watching it with us they kicked us out and made us go watch the movie my Mom was watching with a friend of hers, which happened to be Seven Years in Tibet. Though its entirely possible I hated it more than I would now, simply by virtue of the circumstances behind watching it, but yeah, I might still hate just as much, I don't really remember much of it.

Inspector Gadget and Dudley Do-Right.

Both are two reasons cartoons should never be adapted as live-action films.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
- Just a bland CGI-spoitation film a la Michael Bay...except it poisoned a great film series rather than a mediocre '80s cash-in toy line. Oh, take that and then insert CSPAN-3000 clips throughout it.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
- Possibly the worst dialogue I have ever heard in a studio film. Just...awful. It's the one film where the "still a better love story than Twilight" meme would actually leave me in doubt.

The Matrix Reloaded
- Another bland CGI-spoitation film that poisoned possibly my favorite cyberpunk action film of all time. Completely removes the gritty cyberpunk feel in place of Hot Topic rejects in trenchcoats and overly-coreographed action sequences. The Architect scene had potential, but that was completely spoiled by...

The Matrix Revolutions
- Completely pointless. Nothing set up in the previous film had any significance, which made that film even worse, and it was just a complete bore throughout. Constant action and heavy-handed theological symbolism (at least the semi-philosophical overtones of the first one allowed for a clever plot) without any payoff.

Wow, I cannot believe that nobody has posted Caligula yet.

Even the porn scenes in Caligula are are bad. It's the worst porno John Gielgud ever made for sure.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16oTlXL5E0c[/youtube]

"Take my horse to his own bed." ~Caligula

Watching the bluray with the commentaries on is fun though...

You might be interested in Caligula: The Untold Story. You can buy it, uncut, from Italy - but you'll have to fish out the subtitles yourself online, as there aren't any English subtitles on the disc. This focuses even more on the, er, bestial side of things. So I'm told, anyway - I haven't seen the film.

As for Caligula itself - I don't think it's actually that bad. I bought the uncut version from Denmark for about a fiver. This was about five or six years before the Director's Cut version was finally classified '18' uncut in the UK. I don't think it's necessarily the worst film I've ever seen - God knows, I've seen far worse! - but it's one of the most memorably bad films I've seen from a major studio. At least the main British actors seemed to take it all in reasonably good humour during the film's release.

As for the worst film I've ever seen: oh, I don't know. I've seen many, many horrifically bad films but one of the most irritatingly dull films I've ever seen was called Kleinhoff Hotel. I watched the non-anamorphic Italian DVD, which, I think was released through Raro. A bloody awful film in which a very middle-class wifey and a far-left "revolutionary" type end up shacking up in a hotel room. Very, very dull, and the characters are both completely and totally unsympathetic. Even Corrine Clery getting her nips out doesn't save this one, and I got shot of the DVD as soon as I possibly could.

Thanks, but I have "The Imperial Edition" blu-ray... I'm not sure if it is any more or less complete than the one you mentioned, but I am sure I've had quite enough of Caligula.

The best part really is the commentaries by Malcolm McDowell and Helen Mirren. I don't need to see more raw footage.

Your assessment of the film itself is fair. On an absolute scale it is not the worst film ever, but considering the talent attached to it,it is godawful!! !!

It's hard to ruin scenes of hardcore sex, but they managed....

Looper. Tested my patience like nothing else. Contained not one believable scene.
Silent Night. A waste of time.
Dark Shadows. Rubbish. Failed in the same way the TV show 1313 Mockingbird Lane failed - violence for the sake of violence.
Hunger Games. Implausible, non believable, insulting tripe. Unwatchable.
Total Recall [2012]. Pure garbage. Just a paycheck for the actors who mouth-breathed the entire time. Scenery was gorgeous, though.

That's the version I saw on the Danish DVD - the one with the hardcore scenes.

The Emperor Caligula: The Untold Story is a completely different film, and features far more hardcore scenes in it (as well as bestiality) and far more graphic, brutal and detailed violence. Needless to say, it would never get a BBFC certificate in its uncut form as, like Porno Holocaust, it melds a porn film with violence essentially.

100 Million BC.

I thought it was a spoof of Jurassic Park. But no, they were deadly serious when they made it.