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Thoughts on Michael Bay's TMNT movie

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JoeDaBro
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13 Dec 2014, 1:56 pm

Klowglas wrote:
Spoilers ahead.

Okay.

Klowglas wrote:
I thought the start of the movie, showing the turtles as an indestructible invisible force goes counter to hero narrative plots. The hero either discovers his power and slowly learns to hone it, or it's the antagonist that is the invisible destructive force. The later probably requires a prompt introduction of the hero at the start of the movie rather than the attempt at foreplay that was in this film.

Are you praising this film or criticizing it?

Klowglas wrote:
I think they needed to be revealed with April at the docks, it was right there -- she gets apprehended snooping around that foot clan operation, and that is when they turtles are introduced...of course they would be fighting against generic foot-soldiers at this point, it's shredder who is supposed to be the invisible destructive force during the next encounter with the foot clan, but the turtles should have been revealed to us right there, in a dramatic fashion.

I think the slow reveal of the characters is a good move.

Klowglas wrote:
The turtles introduction later on was not properly executed, it lost a lot dramatic fervor by omitting the moment in which they saved April, they needed to combine that fight in the subway with the introduction at the rooftop, the dramatic rescue alongside their revelation would have enhanced the drama, but instead it was April who sought them out well after they rescued her in the fight that lasted about 7 seconds, and let's be honest... TMNT fans want to see turtles wreck stuff and cool choreography rather than that dim scene in the subway that lasted mere moments.

And the Michael Bay fans want to see everything get blown up. Go figure.

Klowglas wrote:
Don't like that the foot clan were using guns, seems to go against the cartoony narrative of the TMNT world, there needs to be corny lines and a lack of guns, plus tons and tons of fun choreography, in addition to the silly sort of fighting techniques that you'd find in the first three movies.

I'll admit, you actually have a point there. But grammar error detected: it isn't a sequel, it's a reboot, so I'd say "the original movie series" instead of "the first three movies".

Klowglas wrote:
The next major flaw is April's character.

*arms ridiculous amounts of missiles* Go on.

Klowglas wrote:
April O'Neal's actor is just a generic hottie, April's character was merely meant to compliment the turtles to enhance their story -- not replace them as the focus of the story, the film presents itself as April's story rather than the opposite, i mean she got the final hit on shredder for pete's sake... It's here that I tend to understand that none of the writers for this movie were TMNT fans, and they were probably more Megan Fox fans.

KILL HIM! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO AMMO?! GET MORE AMMO!

Klowglas wrote:
Megan Fox's constant heavy-breathing throughout the film was also VERY annoying.

The ammo's coming? Okay.

Klowglas wrote:
Splinter making jokes midway through the movie was a huge no-no, specifically that scene with the cheese pizza. You can only do light-hearted stuff like that with serious characters at the very end of the movie, in fact, one of the older TMNT movies did exactly that. Splinter is supposed to be a very tortured soul, he doesn't have time for games. Oh and he also looked like a diseased rat, the character designs for the turtles and splinter was all over the place, it seems like the artists couldn't find a charming style to suit either one.

...

Klowglas wrote:
One to the good things --

A song?

Klowglas wrote:
One thing the film did do well is the interaction between the turtles, all the characters were spot on, THIS should have been the focus throughout the entire movie, only straying into April's and Shredder's side of the plot occasionally, but the pull was always in the turtles, not in April. This film was not made by TMNT fans, if it was, they would of gone straight to turtles with choreography + jokes right away, and plenty of brawls rather then the slow build-up which they had no idea how to execute anyways.

Nope. Not a song.

Klowglas wrote:
Movie is definitely 6/10, entirely forgettable.

That's like saying "10/10 worst movie ever made". If it was "entirely forgettable" it would be less than 5.
Oh, wait, the ammo just arrived, goodbye.
[EXTREMELY LARGE EXPLOSION]



Klowglas
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13 Dec 2014, 3:18 pm

JoeDaBro wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Spoilers ahead.

Okay.

Klowglas wrote:
I thought the start of the movie, showing the turtles as an indestructible invisible force goes counter to hero narrative plots. The hero either discovers his power and slowly learns to hone it, or it's the antagonist that is the invisible destructive force. The later probably requires a prompt introduction of the hero at the start of the movie rather than the attempt at foreplay that was in this film.

Are you praising this film or criticizing it?

Klowglas wrote:
I think they needed to be revealed with April at the docks, it was right there -- she gets apprehended snooping around that foot clan operation, and that is when they turtles are introduced...of course they would be fighting against generic foot-soldiers at this point, it's shredder who is supposed to be the invisible destructive force during the next encounter with the foot clan, but the turtles should have been revealed to us right there, in a dramatic fashion.

I think the slow reveal of the characters is a good move.


Criticizing, the slow reveal of the turtles meant more time for April's character, which is not a good thing for TMNT fans. We want Michelangelo quips, choreographed antics, and turtle tomfoolery, not April waiting for her big chance while she keeps breathing heavily into the microphone. After all they did nail the turtle's personalities just right, now if only they focused on that since the start of the movie, with more brawls here and there, they would of had a good movie!

The scene in the docks was the perfect time for an extended brawl scene, but all we saw were shadows, and then back to April, i believe after that it was about at the 40-something minute mark that you finally got to an extended brawl, which was mostly between Splinter and Shredder.

Remember the scene in the elevator where the door opens up to a ton of foot-soldiers staring the turtles down? That was the PERFECT brawl to lead up into the final battle with Shredder! Seeing the turtles dispose of fifty-something foot-soldiers through skilled chereography would have been pure bliss.



Quote:

Klowglas wrote:
Movie is definitely 6/10, entirely forgettable.

That's like saying "10/10 worst movie ever made". If it was "entirely forgettable" it would be less than 5.
Oh, wait, the ammo just arrived, goodbye.
[EXTREMELY LARGE EXPLOSION]



well below the 5/10, or 6/10 mark you get into the 'so bad it's good territoy' or the 'so bad everyone is going to remember it' territory, forgettable movies tend to be below average -- you see it once and then you never want to see it again.



JoeDaBro
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13 Dec 2014, 4:04 pm

Klowglas wrote:
JoeDaBro wrote:
Klowglas wrote:
Spoilers ahead.

Okay.

Klowglas wrote:
I thought the start of the movie, showing the turtles as an indestructible invisible force goes counter to hero narrative plots. The hero either discovers his power and slowly learns to hone it, or it's the antagonist that is the invisible destructive force. The later probably requires a prompt introduction of the hero at the start of the movie rather than the attempt at foreplay that was in this film.

Are you praising this film or criticizing it?

Klowglas wrote:
I think they needed to be revealed with April at the docks, it was right there -- she gets apprehended snooping around that foot clan operation, and that is when they turtles are introduced...of course they would be fighting against generic foot-soldiers at this point, it's shredder who is supposed to be the invisible destructive force during the next encounter with the foot clan, but the turtles should have been revealed to us right there, in a dramatic fashion.

I think the slow reveal of the characters is a good move.


Criticizing, the slow reveal of the turtles meant more time for April's character, which is not a good thing for TMNT fans. We want Michelangelo quips, choreographed antics, and turtle tomfoolery, not April waiting for her big chance while she keeps breathing heavily into the microphone. After all they did nail the turtle's personalities just right, now if only they focused on that since the start of the movie, with more brawls here and there, they would of had a good movie!

The scene in the docks was the perfect time for an extended brawl scene, but all we saw were shadows, and then back to April, i believe after that it was about at the 40-something minute mark that you finally got to an extended brawl, which was mostly between Splinter and Shredder.

Remember the scene in the elevator where the door opens up to a ton of foot-soldiers staring the turtles down? That was the PERFECT brawl to lead up into the final battle with Shredder! Seeing the turtles dispose of fifty-something foot-soldiers through skilled chereography would have been pure bliss.



Quote:

Klowglas wrote:
Movie is definitely 6/10, entirely forgettable.

That's like saying "10/10 worst movie ever made". If it was "entirely forgettable" it would be less than 5.
Oh, wait, the ammo just arrived, goodbye.
[EXTREMELY LARGE EXPLOSION]



well below the 5/10, or 6/10 mark you get into the 'so bad it's good territoy' or the 'so bad everyone is going to remember it' territory, forgettable movies tend to be below average -- you see it once and then you never want to see it again.

There's a difference between Birdemic and Holes. Birdemic was downright terrible at what it did but it sucked so much it was enjoyable and interesting, but still deserves a less than 5/10. Holes is one of the worst movies of all time and, despite having good acting and good camerawork, it had pointless slow motion, 5 million shots being cut to in the same scene EVERYWHERE, pointless cuts to things that have nothing to do with the story, sometimes it can combine all of these, and it was just very boring, and deserves to be just a novel. I'd rather dig a hole in Camp Green Lake myself. Oh, and did I mention all of the racial stereotyping? I could do a whole book on why the movie sucks so much.
Long story short:I HATE HOLES MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. :evil: KILL IT.