My all-time favorite bad movie is the early-1980s classic THE LONELY LADY starring the one and only Pia Zadora. She plays Jerilee Randall, a sweet young thing trying to make it as a screenwriter in Hollywood. Several unbelievable things happen to her along the way, including being gang-raped with a garden hose (this absolutely has to be seen to be believed!) and being forced to have sex with not one but two lecherous lesbians in order to get her script read. Her onscreen nervous breakdown following one of these unimaginably traumatic encounters is a masterpiece of special effects (yes, I said special effects), and her "Oscar" acceptance speech at the film's conclusion is an all-time milestone in the history of campy, kitchy crapola. "I don't suppose I'm the only girl who's had to f**k her way to the top..." How right you are, Pia dear! All in all, this is the cinematic equivalent of a car accident -- can't look at it, can't look away from it.
Big Gay Andy
19 Nov 2005, 9:48 pm
