your favourite family guy quotes

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"Vacuum" sounds like "F*** you"

(a TV commercial)

Tasty Juice. Drink it, then convert it to pee.

Read my signature line...

Anything Herbert says

"You like popsicles?"
"Now, we can all settle this like sexy teenagers."
"You don't wanna hurt yourself dancing, you better stretch out those creamy hamstrings"
"How do you feel about those computer websites that put a blue square on the home of a sex offender?"
"You're startin' to piss me off, you piggly son of a b***h! (Pause) Call me!"
(Herbert) "Well, Oshkosh b'gosh! We got ourselves a new paper boy. That's a mighty fine sack you're carrying." (Stewie on his tricycle) "Piss of you perverted old freak.

Anything Peter Says:

"I am Peter Griffin, I like fancy food, I like reading comic books and dressing like a dude!"
"I may be an idiot, but there is one thing i am not, and that sir is an idiot!"

I can't decide about any others though.

Lifetime...Television for idiots.

There's something magical about Brown.
Brown's the color of poo.
Yes, yes it is.

Brain To Peter - "God (slap) Is (Slap) Pissed" hahaha

Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

oh geraldine, I DISAGREE!


(british drive by arguments clip)

(Stewie and Peter running away from Disneyworld guards, and encoutering Michael Eisner in a scene mirroring The Temple of Doom.)

Stewie: Cover your heart!

Eisner: Kali Ma!

Peter: *grabs his hand* You betrayed the shareholders!

The same episode has two other great quotes...like when Stewie refers to Florida as "God's waiting room..." and then has this to say about the Sunshine State.

Stewie: Just think, somewhere in this state, right now, Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy.

that episode was a good one.

i like the episode where Stewie runs off to live with Jolly Farm Revue and Brian follows him.
they are in Rome.
Pope: "you make pope look like fool. God will make you pay...SMITE THEM!"
nothing happens

Pope: "hes a cooking something up"

One of my personal favorites, that one. Still makes me laugh. Here's another sequence I love, even though this show irritates me a lot of the time, especially Peter Griffin... yet he also has some very funny lines. Here it is, at the older boy's soccer game:

Referee: [whistle] Hand ball! Penalty kick, blue!

Mother(who looks and sounds like a man): That's the 10th time today! Nice grab, orca. Hey, get Moby Dick off the field before he burps up a

license plate!

Peter: Hey, hey, hey. Easy, fella. That's my kid. Now apologize.

Mother: Okay. I'm sorry your kid's a brain-dead stinking blue cheese feta!

Peter: Oh, oh, that's it! (punches her in the face)

Chris: Way to go, Dad!

Boy: You hit my mom!

Peter: No, I hit your dad.

Man: Whoa, stand back. Give her some air.

Peter: You mean, "Give him some air."

Woman: Call an ambulance. She's going into labor.

Peter: You mean, "He's going into labor."

[Baby crying]

Peter: Whoops.