But he wasn't a bigwig.
And I hope they don't set the show in Denver. Not exactly the best of targets. Actually, I can see it now...
(A terrorist henchman, carrying a large bag with skis and ski poles sticking out of it, walks up to terrorist leader)
Henchman: Okay, so I'm heading to Denver to set off that bomb. (Puts his hand to his mouth to cover his giggling)
Leader: Ah, good, now those Coloradan infidels will pay. For far too long, they have flaunted their beautiful mountains, their snow-covered slopes, and their picturesque landscapes.
H: (Dreamily) Yeah...
L: Now we will show them the truth of the world, that their government is run by cowards whose only purpose is to spread pain and suffering throughout the world, and who have no god but the sinful vanty of wealth, and who...
H: Yeah, I've heard that speech before. Listen, I gotta go. The forecast says the snow on the slopes will be two feet deep!
L: (Stares in stony silence)
H: Er, um, and that will make it all the more noticeable when the mountains run red with the blood of the Yankees.
L: I see. Well, may God go with you, my friend. Here is your ticket to Denver.
H: And, um, about that $25,000 you promised my family when I martyr myself...
L: Yes?
H: Well, one of my buddies from the madrasa will be in Denver, so I figured I could just give the money to him, and he can give it to my family. Less hassle for you.
L: Good idea. (Hands henchman roll of bills)
H: Okay, I guess I will see you in Aspen, er, Paradise, I mean. Oh, and remember, if you don't hear anything on the news about my martyrdom, it is because the infidel Yankees want to cover it up. And you certainly don't want to send anyone else to Colorado to rescue me, since there will be all kinds of radiation and fallout and it will just be a mess. (Leaves)
L: (Glowing) Bless that man. He is one of our most dedicated soldiers, going to Colorado at the height of winter to martyr himself. What I could do with 50 men like him...
The End