Negative Reviews of Your Favorite Movies

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RockDrummer616
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29 Apr 2010, 10:00 pm

I always think it's fun to see the other side of things: why do people dislike the movie I love? Post a negative review of one or more of your favorite movies! Easiest way to find them: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/

Here's one for Inglourious Basterds:

Quote:
At least it’s got build in pee breaks. You could leave when a new scene (any new scene) begins, come back and still get the effect of 15 minutes of inane talking before the sh*t goes down. Or after anything actually happens, count on a good few minutes of retelling the previous scene to new characters.


Here's one for Serenity:
Quote:
Those unfamiliar with the show will probably have more difficulty falling in love with the people aboard the ship and coming to terms with the futuristic setting and the somewhat bumpy scenario that writer-director Whedon has cobbled together from bits and pieces of old movies (mostly westerns), TV shows, comics and boys’ adventure magazines. But on its own “Serenity” comes across as neither enthralling nor terrible. The acting, apart from Ejiofor--who fashions an elegantly cool villain--is basically pedestrian, and the effects are at the lower end of today’s sci-fi spectrum.


Best Picture winner Return of the King had a few critics:
Quote:
The worst moments are ported complete from the Tolkien source material (and the theatrical version of The Two Towers): the convenience of a fortuitous in-battle as little Sam storms an enemy keep by himself, the deus ex machina of giant eagles arriving at moments of crisis (in fairness, it seems as though the scene establishing their summoning has been jettisoned), the curiously limp money shot of Aragorn's grasping of his legacy, and a general narrative choppiness that defeats pacing and deadens interest for all but the most invested.


Even Alien has two negative reviews, one of which says:
Quote:

An empty-headed horror movie with nothing to recommend it beyond the disco-inspired art direction and some handsome, if gimmicky, cinematography


What did the critics say bad about your favorites?


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Eggman
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29 Apr 2010, 10:06 pm

i liked how children movies get a bad review for being children movies


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you_are_what_you_is
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29 Apr 2010, 11:42 pm

Tromeo & Juliet
Sadly, the line between enjoyably trashy and utter garbage is notoriously thin and this should-have-stayed-on-video effort falls squarely on this side of juvenile junk ... Yet what is missing is any real sense of subversive fun or anarchic energy that often comes from working outside the mainstream. In the right mood, there are some guilty pleasures to be found ... but eventually it all wears thin, creating an overall effect that is unpleasant and dull.

Napoleon Dynamite
The film is essentially a series of silly, low-key scenes that ask us to laugh at the ludicrous behaviour of the characters. It's like American Pie on valium, slow and drained of almost all energy. There are some genuinely funny bits that lampoon small-town life (Rex Kwon Do!), but mostly it's just people doing everyday random things. It's not remotely clever, it doesn't say anything and all of the characters are deeply annoying. The closest comparisons, Beavis & Butt-head, seem like social-satire geniuses next to these dimwits.

Freddy Got Fingered
This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.

Gummo
The only purpose in GUMMO is to shock viewers into belief that they are watching work of art. The audience willing to endure this atrocity could be shocked only with the sad realisation that Korine honestly believed that he could get away with it. The acting in the film is bad, the direction is bad, hardly anything happens in the film and what happens is less shocking than utterly boring.

Tideland
Rarely has an act of such cinematic cruelty as "Tideland" been perpetrated on filmgoers. Terry Gilliam... seems to want to push the audience as far as he can with this self-indulgent grotesque, a sordid fairy tale... death is only the beginning in "Tideland," which becomes an excruciating exercise in gothic excess and progressively more disgusting imagery. Reportedly Gilliam has been seen on Manhattan street corners trying to get passersby into theaters; he'd have better luck recouping his investment if he made them pay to get out.

Guest House Paradiso
This has the potential to be funny. The show was. But director Edmonson imposes the deliberate pacing and slick photography of a normal, realistic feature film on material which needs to be produced cheaply, and it dies a sorry death. There is no energy or unpredictability, only an embarrassing mess of zany movement and occasional loud clonks.

The Running Man
With a wholly derivative concept, confused scripting, and incredibly sloppy direction, THE RUNNING MAN is a frustrating experience. The sets are fairly simple, the effects are kept to a minimum, the crowd scenes are laughably sparse, the action scenes are repetitive and wholly unimaginative, and director Paul Michael Glaser simply lets his actors flounder.


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IdahoRose
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29 Apr 2010, 11:43 pm

I was too tired to find bad reviews for all my favorite movies, but here are a couple that stood out to me:

For Alice in Wonderland (2010):
"What should have been an eye-popping and jaw-dropping dream combination of two celebrated fabulists is instead a dour and unpleasant disaster that reduces one of the great modern mythical tales into a ugly mess."

For Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
"Unlike Trainspotting, Fear and Loathing doesn't shock or fascinate. It simply disgusts and repels."

And my favorite bad review:

For Drop Dead Fred:
"I know this flick has its fans, but I saw it 14 years ago ... and I still have a headache."



RockDrummer616
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29 Apr 2010, 11:50 pm

How could I forget! Roger Ebert's review of Kick-Ass:

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Shall I have feelings, or should I pretend to be cool? Will I seem hopelessly square if I find “Kick-Ass” morally reprehensible and will I appear to have missed the point? Let's say you're a big fan of the original comic book, and you think the movie does it justice. You know what? You inhabit a world I am so very not interested in. A movie camera makes a record of whatever is placed in front of it, and in this case, it shows deadly carnage dished out by an 11-year-old girl, after which an adult man brutally hammers her to within an inch of her life. Blood everywhere. Now tell me all about the context.


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Ichinin
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30 Apr 2010, 5:08 am

I scrolled through a few and tried finding a bad review of "The big lebowski" but...


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PunkyKat
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10 May 2010, 4:12 am

"... flat characters, flat animation, a bland rock soundtrack ... Titan A.E. might as well be Titanic A.E. (as in, the ship that sunk, not the movie that scored.)"

"Great visuals, but the story feels like a cut-and-paste job of other sci-fi movies."


Come to think of it, are there any positive reviews of Titan A.E.?


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auntblabby
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10 May 2010, 6:38 am

i never cared for movie critics, in general. snobbery of any stripe leaves me cold.



JCpatriots
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18 May 2010, 7:29 pm

This is exactly why I ignore movie critics. Every movie out there, regardless of how good it is, always seems to have critics ranting on how bad it is, even when it is a fantastic movie. I never listen to them, and I watch the movie regardless of what they say if I am interested in it. So far, I've learned their opinions rarely reflect my opinions with 90% of the movies I have watched.