Science Fiction Cliches

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Let's list our favourite (or least favourite) science fiction cliches...

-Lasers are indistinguishable from neon crossbow bolts; they are visible in a vaccum and move slower than sound...

-Messiah Narrative in a society very different (but still reminiscent) of Ancient Palestine...

-Perfect future governments that never have to deal with corruption, graft, paperwork or inefficiency...

-Good guys look dashing or graceful; bad guys look barbaric or scheming...

-Cybernetic modification of human beings is ALWAYS evil...

-Artificial Intelligence entities are ALWAYS evil and ALWAYS want to destroy humanity...

-Thinly veiled re-telling of the Frankenstein Narrative...

-Futuristic Energy weapons kill people less efficiently than a good Winchester or AK-47... yet everyone uses overpriced, inefficient lasers...

-Self-righteous, hypocritical good guys...

-Thinly veiled metaphors to current political issues...

-Space pirates...

-Space cowboys...

-Space American Revolutionaries...

-Arabs in Space... don't question it... they bought a spaceship with all that oil money...

-Comic relief characters which border on offensive stereotypes...

-Elves, orcs, trolls in space...

-Autistic characters as supporting cast...

-Political correctness (hey these Klingon blokes ain't so bad after all! Another Pint!)

-Bureaucrats are always reactionary and hypocritical...

-Scientists are always amoral and emotionally ret*d...

-Starship captains who reflect America the time the film/episode was made...

-Evil corporations...

-Somebody in the party is a spy...

-Metaphors for things Western Society did wrong (the Vietnam War, slavery)...

-Societies with no discernible economy...

-Over-specialized societies or planets...

-Bad guys who betray each other so often they'd have trouble constructing a Hotdog cart... let alone a spaceship...

-Good guys who are so virtuous they look like they wandered out of a Greek philosophy dialogue and into a spaceship...

-Poorly designed killer robots that couldn't kill an 80-year old French pastry chef...

Sexual/romantic relationships that don't result in pregnancies or STDs or hissy fits - just heaving chests and sultry looks.

Really bad acting... to the point that William Shatner and Keanu Reeves have leading roles...

* it's possible to hack into the computer of an alien spacecraft with a laptop and disable it's forcefield *

* All space ships must have a mindless array of non-functional lights that blink on and off *

* Space ships must be of such size that one ever wonders how they were even built *

* Warp 10, and other violations of the laws of physics, such as the crews of those space craft not being killed and flatten paper-thin by the onslaught of G's during warp 10 acceleration must happen at least once in every show/movie *

* Earth is always a desolate place, having been over-used and over-mined *

* "Emergency Lighting" must always be red *

There must always be a beautiful girl who falls in love with the hero and she must always be saved.

Aliens all look like overly sun-tanned humans with black polar neck sweaters and "Zorro" mustaches (ST:OS).

Aliens all look like humans with cut up bits of old vinyl sofas glued to their foreheads (ST:TNG).

Everybody speaks English.

All alien planets always only ever look like one particular earth location in every episode of a given series (the Arizona desert in "Star Trek", Welsh slate quarries in "Blake's Seven", coniferous forests in "SG1", cheap-looking soundstage sets in "Space 1999" etc.).

Technology keeps breaking down (either of its own accord, or due to this week's "mystery special guest radiation" a la ST:TNG), jeopardising the crew.

There always has to be somebody completely stupid who knows nothing around so that someone else can explain plot elements and tech to them (see Deanna Troi, ST:TNG).

Thou shalt have at least one "evil twin" episode per season.

Thou shalt have at least one "alternate reality" episode per season.

Captain Kirk should always be a swinging bachelor so whenever Kirk falls in love with a beautiful woman... she will die by the end of the episode... the next week Kirk gets over her and has no psychological scars...

Alien Stereotypes

-The Greys
Standard Big headed thin bug eyed aliens with their flying saucers. Hobbies include mutilating cows and experimenting on humans.

-Arrogant Warrior Aliens
Usually has a rigid honor system resembling anciet greeks or romans. Advanced technology.

-Spiritual Aliens
Peaceful. Way advanced technology. May or may not be patronizing towards humans. Planet usually destroyed in some way. May or may not destroy humans as they are percieved as a threat to all civilised races of the galaxy.

-Merchant Aliens
Usually barters and sells products to other aliens. Works for the highest bidder. There is no good or evil, only self interest.

-Enigmatic Aliens
Usually comes in the form of blinking lights and other unexplainable formula. So highly evolved that puny human intellect is unable to understand them. Amoral.

-Evil bug monsters.
Monsters resembling insects. Hive mind. Usually uses organic technology; weapons are not manufactured, they are grown or mutated.

-Mind controlling aliens
Parasitic aliens that take control of humans to use as slaves.

-Childlike Aliens
Bumbling aliens who 'want to be our friend'. Usually sickeningly cute. One wonders how they got advandced technology in the first place.

-Ravagers
Violent aliens going from world to world and plundering them.

I forgot the "Thou shalt have an accidentally travelling through time and changing the past/future and then having to put it right episode in each season" commandment.

Also, why aren't there ant video cameras in ST:TNG - the only way Picard can ever see what's going on anywhere else on the ship or on an away team is to actually physically go there himself.....

And I'm not surprised all those evil computers shut themselves down after Kirk talks to them - I think I would too......

Sparking, flaming electronics that can be repaired with the touch of a button.

* there must always be a situation/dilema where "the slightest mistake will result in the destruction of the universe" *

Every big facility worth its salt must have a self-destruct sequence with a scary voice announcing the time left before you die. Self-destruction isn't immediate, either, like you might think. At around a minute left, the place starts shaking around, girders fall, and random electronics start blowing up. Oh and the override button is always large, red, and placed a carefully measured distance far away from the self-destruct button to ensure that the hero can just barely make it in time if he hurries.

well, looks like someones alreaddy gone and done it: http://enphilistor.users4.50megs.com/cliche.htm

Space is full of rifts in the space / time continuum.

Aliens heads are always bigger than ours.

The instruction manual for an 'Interociter' is made out of metal paper.

Aliens hands are always bigger than ours.

Robot characters have at least one comedy routine.

Aliens feet are always bigger than ours.

It's science Jim but not as we know it.

Inside every Alien is a very sweaty actor.

Aliens who wear no clothes and hang around kids or, more worryingly, kidnap little boys (ET & Close Encounters).