Giftorcurse's Cinecism Movie Reviews

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Hello, and welcome to the first episode of Cinecism, where I give you my insight into films in my DVD/Blu-Ray collection.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZPspTqD3c0[/youtube]

Episode 1: The Mechanic (1972)

I've just finished watching this film, and I've got this to say: WOW. Judging from the poster above, The Mechanic, which was remade in the Jason Statham movie of the same name, seems to be a fairly standard action-thriller that Charles Bronson and the infamous Michael Winner are known for. This is not the case, because there are two things about The Mechanic that make it stand out:

1. It exists on multiple levels.
2. The action never eclipses the characters.

By now, any hardcore seeker of adrenaline in films would probably be frowning in disappointment. But somehow, Winner, known more for his less distinguished works, makes it work like a charm.

The story concerns Arthur Bishop (Charles Bronson), the titular "mechanic", an assassin working for an unidentified organization. He is laid back, cultured, and knows the game inside and out. However, his life as a mechanic carries a price tag; he's a loner, suffering from an almost existential depression and his girlfriend writes him love letters just to make him feel wanted. After an impressive fifteen minute opening which introduces both his skill as a killer and his stoic passivity, the plot kicks off when Arthur kills a friend (Keenan Wynn) of his father, one of the founders of the mechanic organization, and makes it look like a heart attack. Steve (Jan-Michael Vincent), the solipsistic and self-absorbed son of the victim, appears to be glad his old man is dead, even throwing a wild party at his house after the funeral. Soon, Steve takes an interest in Bishop, and the latter takes him in as his apprentice. Bishop shows Steve the tricks of his trade, taking him on assignments with him. However, Arthur slowly realizes that Steve may have something going on up his sleeve, and at the same time, must come to terms with the reality of his occupation.

While the movie fulfills its duties as a thriller with enough suspense and tension to give you a heart attack yourself, it doesn't succumb to the glamorization of mayhem like Winner's later Death Wish movies, where violence was always the answer to the problem of dealing with walking human waste. Rather, it is the development and performances of both Bronson and Jan-Michael Vincent that really bring this movie to life and make it stand out among Winner's ilk. Their characters are seamlessly dileneated, with Bishop the wise veteran type and Steve unleashing an aura of hedonistic self-centeredness that serves as an encapsulation of upper-class spoils. The film is not only an action-partner picture, but a psychological study of an aging assassin's isolation, and possibly, redemption as well.

The Verdict: It's a shame Michael Winner fell from grace after making a gem like this. Still, The Mechanic is a vastly underrated thriller that satisfies and makes you think at the same time. One of the best films of its genre that I've seen in quite some time.

Last edited by Giftorcurse on 11 Dec 2012, 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

For the next review, I'm torn between reviewing another Bronson picture and this year's Drive.

Wow, you've really got a knack for reviewing movies! I enjoyed reading your review of The Mechanic and I look forward to future reviews.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssCYVWc8Jos&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

Neat, I was hoping you'd review drive. Do you mind sharing some written thoughts on the movie too? Anywho, nice one.

Yeah, I loved it. I felt like a kid being transported back into the eighties with a DeLorean, and I can very easily see a bright future ahead for this film.

EDIT: After two good movies, I thought I could try my hand at some bad ones. Which we'll it be: Chuck Norris movies or the first three Death Wish installments?

Here's my take on 1980's Virus.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7k6fPiopk0&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZPspTqD3c0[/youtube]

Episode: Cyborg (1989)

Hello, and welcome to another written episode of Giftorcurse's Cinecism. I apologize for not having made the reviews for Virus and Drive in this format, as I had one hell of a case of writer's funk. Anyway, let's get on with the review.

Back in the eighties, you may have been familiar with a studio known as Cannon Films. A massive media conglomerate set up by Isreali shyster cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, they made a killing by mindlessly buying bottom-of-the-barrel scripts, putting them into rapid-fire production, and shipping them off to theaters. Of course, this business model had its faults; the movies produced were of fairly low quality, and most of them have faded from memory. Cannon Films did have some "hits" back in the day, and sometimes actually made good movies (perhaps just Barfly and Runaway Train). They even brought Chuck Norris to b-movie superstardom, with films like Missing in Action and The Delta Force. However, this was not enough to save Golan and Globus from financial trouble. Several crappy moneymaking decisions, as well as high profile flops like Superman IV and Masters of the Universe, brought the company's reputation (if there was one to start with) down to its knees. Sometimes, they even proudly announced big projects that never came to be, like the Spider-Man movie.

Meanwhile, Cannon had introduced a raw new talent, a classically-trained thespian noted for his emotional range and his kicks; that man was the Belgian martial artist Jean-Claude Van Damme. Van Damme had wowed critics and audience alike for his performance in Cannon's recent smash Bloodsport, which earned him the distinguished Razzie Award for Worst New Star. Jean-Claude could not have come at a better time, as Cannon was stuck trying to make the Spider-Man film and a Masters of the Universe sequel*. Golan and Globus, geniuses that they were, decided to make a movie out of the discarded props and sets constructed for the projects. Cyborg, directed by b-movie auteur Albert Pyun, is the result.

The film is set in a post-apocalyptic future, after an unidentifed holocaust leaves everyone with a horrible fashion sense. A plague is spreading, so an Atlanta woman named Pearl Prophet volunteers to become a cyborg to obtain information from a computer in New York City containing information on the cure. Why exactly she has to become a cyborg, and why whoever she's working for didn't get the data prior to the untold carnage the plague caused is beyond me. In the opening scene, she and her bodyguard run afoul of Fender Tremolo and his band of scumbag raiders. Fender is a psycho obsessed with destroying the already-screwed up Earth, and runs his gang like a cult; they rape, pillage, and burn to their hearts delight. Pearl's bodyguard is killed, but she is saved by "slinger" Gibson Riddenbacker (Van Damme). Almost immediately, Pearl is convinced that Gibson can get her back to Atlanta. The dialogue between them, posted below, is rich with subtlety and motivation.

Shortly after that, Van Damme is knocked out by Fender's men, who take Pearl by boat to Atlanta. Gibson follows them, aided by a girl from a village that Fender raided.

That's it. That's the entire story. Most of the movie consists of Van Damme and his lady friend following the trail of Fender's carnage, and the action doesn't really kick off until the last forty-five minutes. When the time does come for Van Damme to do his splits and kicks, it is poorly edited and choreographed, with every punch and knife slice being telegraphed and pulled. One is almost reminded of a somewhat gory episode of Power Rangers. The acting is amateurish, Van Damme's hero is an utter wuss, and frankly, I could make a better movie with the same equipment and rock-bottom budget within a few weeks (which is the amount of time total production took). (Un)fortunately, Cyborg proved to be a moderate success at the box office, further cementing Van Damme's action hero status and helping Cannon Films stave off bankruptcy for a bit longer.

The Verdict: Cyborg is prototypical Cannon Films production with nothing new or original on the table, and probably serves as an example of everything that led to the studio's demise.

This is the first of my reviews of Van Damme's ilk, but by no means will it be the last. I've been looking forward to getting payback on him for years. Here's hoping they won't stoop this low.

*Fun fact: some television airings dub the film Masters of the Universe II: The Cyborg.

Any suggestions?

Go see a Haunted House. I'd love to see your reaction from that.

Oh, puhleeze. Treat me with some dignity!

I'd like to see your review of "Last Year at Marienbad" or of "Alien Contamination"

I usually review movies that I currently have in my DVD/Blu-Ray collection. Sorry.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZPspTqD3c0[/youtube]
Episode: Nighthawks (1981)


Nighthawks is one of those gems that, despite being neglected by critics and disappearing at the box office, has grown in stature in recent years. You may not hear about it in a typical conversation between fans of its stars, Sylvester Stallone and Rutger Hauer, but it is certainly brainier than the two's later fare, such as the Rambo sequels and Blind Fury. Like other eighties thrillers (To Live and Die in L.A. and Videodrome, to name a couple), Nighthawks is fueled by an intense undercurrent that speaks in volumes even today. The subject matter of this particular film: international terrorism for hire.

Hauer portrays, with an authenticity that is both disturbing and genuine, a sociopathic terrorist nicknamed Wulfgar. He has a taste for great clothing, beautiful (and disposable) women, and causing anarchy. Roughly a few minutes into the film, he blows up a shop filled with innocent people in London for unknown employers. Unfortunately for Wulfgar, children were killed in said bombing, causing his clients to sever their ties with him. Wulfgar then flees to New York City, with the intent of causing enough carnage to get him noticed by potential customers.

Stallone, in an intriguingly laid-back and somber performance, is NYPD detective Deke DaSilva, a Vietnam veteran who has renounced violence as a means of bringing himself down to Earth. His ex-wife is distant from him, and he really doesn't want to be a hero; a far cry from Rambo, if I may say so. As soon as Wulfgar comes to town, DaSilva and his partner Fox (Billy Dee Williams) are assigned to the A.T.A.C. squad in an effort to track him down. What follows is a cat-and-mouse game throughout the Big Apple, which forces DaSilva to confront his demons.

Right from the get-go, Nighthawks is an enlightening and entertaining thriller. Stallone and Hauer have great chemistry as the hunter and his prey, and their characters never succumb to the cliches expected from an action picture like this, opting for stark realism instead. The film is shot in an "informed documentary" style akin to William Friedkin's The French Connection that further enhances the verisimilitude of the production. There are no epic-scale pyrotechnics, no prolonged bloody shootouts; you could easily see the setpieces occurring on the evening news. In general, the film is a very convincing experience.

The Verdict: Nighthawks is a criminally overlooked film in Stallone's catalog. As a look into international terrorism, it still rings true today, and as a study of two obsessed men on the edge, it makes perfect sense. Some may be disappointed that the film doesn't take a Hollywood approach, but that's what's special about it.

Wow. I almost forgot about this thread... Which movie would you like for me to review next? Here are the options...

-A Michael Bay film.
-Another Jean-Claude Van Damme film.
-Independence Day.
-A film directed by John Frankenheimer.
-A Bruce Willis movie.
-Backdraft
-Altered States
-Anything by David Cronenberg.
-Joel Schumacher's 8MM, Flatliners, or Phone Booth.
-The Molly Ringwald teen pregnancy film For Keeps?

I'd prefer "Independence Day" or the original "Die Hard".