Tim_Tex wrote:
I lost faith in the Oscars two years ago when Sideways didn't win best picture. That was such a good movie.
Tim
I lost faith in the Oscars when Sideways was even nominated for anything. I thought it was a terrible movie. And I like Paul Giamatti.
Actually, I never had faith in the Oscars to begin with.
Here was my stream of consciousness during the Oscars (written afterwards):
Here's what I can remember (there may be some spelling errors):
Meh. Bet Scorsese's gonna win because everyone's been saying he's needed to win one for years and years. Didn't see "The Departed" but I doubt it.
What? Why aren't they doing the opening montage where they make fun of all the films and have spoofing half-clips of them? Like when Billy Crystal turned into Gollum for a few seconds? Granted, I don't miss his singing, but that was still funny as hell. This new opening intro thing is funny but it's not the same....
Helen Miren's dress is too revealing. Her boobs may not be completely wrinkly but I still don't want to see 'em. NOTE TO OLD OSCAR NOMINEES: it doesn't matter if you've been nominated, it doesn't give you the right to ignore the rule that states IF YOU HAVE GREY HAIR, THEN WEAR A DRESS THAT COVERS YOUR f*****g CLEAVAGE. (It would have been "If you are older than 40" but then Monica Bellucci would have to be exempted, because she's 40 and is still exceedingly hot.)
Eesh, it started hailing hard as I type this.
Gotta love the Will Farrel/Jack Black duet. In my opinion, THAT should have won the Best Original Song. It was certainly a hell of a lot more entertaining than any of the other nominees.
Yay! Pan's Labyrinth won Art Direction and Make Up, and rightfully so. No contest there, none of the other nominees compared. Though I'm still pissed they didn't nominate "Silent Hill" for either of them--I mean they nominate "Click" because Adam Sandler gets a fat-suit but not "Silent Hill"? What the hell is up with that? Oh, right, it's a horror movie that critics weren't fond of so it can't be nominated for anything. f**k that. And what of "The Science of Sleep" or "The Fountain"? Those both had great art direction.
The Sound Effect Choir is brilliant beyond belief.
Rachel Weicz or however the hell you spell her last name looks hotter than normal. ^_^ This is how make up can work. Dress still sucks though. Actually, all the dresses sucked this year. Totally dumb-looking, sparkly BS.
Alan Arkin: Best Supporting Actor? Okay, I liked "Little Miss Sunshine" but I don't see how his performance was Oscar-worthy. It was good but by no means a standout. I was more impressed by Steve Carrell in it, because he usually annoys me and in this I thought he was cool. They're probably giving it to Arkin because he's old.
Dumb Randy Newman song. This is one of the reasons why I don't like Pixar movies as much as everyone else: crappy Randy Newman songs. Eww.
HAPPY FEET OVER MONSTER HOUSE? WTF? Okay, I didn't actually see "Happy Feet," and to be fair I'll rent its DVD when it comes out, but I KNOW I won't like it much. Sounds like another boring musical, even if it rightfully denounces religious mob mentality. (Ditto for "Dreamgirls," for that matter. And the songs from it SUCK.) Actually, that reminds me. I tried watching "Farce of the Penguins," but it was so relentlessly unfunny that I turned it off after the first ten minutes. And I LIKE dirty humor.
Why was Borat nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay? Because it was based on characters? ...Yeeeah. I was under the impression that half the movie wasn't actually scripted and was just done Reality TV-style except with Sacha Baron Cohen playing his character like he always does.
"Valium works." ...Dude, that guy LOOKED like he was on Valium.
Costume design...the only decent-looking ones are for "Curse of the Golden Flower" and "Marie Antoinette," and I'm inclined to say it should be "Curse" because "Marie Antoinette" was directed by Sofia Coppola, who I have had a grudge against since that piece of overrated pretentious tripe known as "Lost in Translaion," though I prefer to call it "How I Directed A Movie With No Plot, Character Development, Or Anything Remotely Resembling Good Storytelling And Won A Best Original Screenplay For It Just Because My Dad Directed "The Godfather" And The Middle-Aged Critics Enjoyed Falling Asleep." But okay, those costumes are pretty, so I guess it deserved that award.
The singer of Coldplay is married to Gweneth Paltrow? Talk about poor taste. Coldplay's a great band, but Paltrow's awful. Just poor. Just about ruined "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow." If they ever make a sequel to that they need to have more Angelina Jolie, less Paltrow.
WHAT? CHILDREN OF MEN DIDN'T WIN BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY? THAT IS f*****g CRIMINAL! THAT IS...THAT IS BEYOND CRIMINAL! THAT IS APPALLING!
Visual effects, yay...though the only real contender here is "Pirates," because Davy Jones was f*****g amazing, this year's Gollum. Though, some of the Kraken's tentacles looked cartoony as hell, and I still have major problems with the film's pacing and storytelling.
Love the shadow puppet people! THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING SNAKES ON A PLANE?! HAH! "They're naked!" So why don't we see the sillouettes of their personal bits wobbling about? What, do they tape th--never mind, I don't want to know.
Mmm...Eva Green. XD Hawt as ever. Love the eye make up. BUT HER DRESS SUCKS!
Jesus f*****g Christ I am getting sick of those iPhone commercials. You can only see clips from "The Incredibles," "Amelie," and "The Big Lebowski" (among others) being exploited by Apple so many times.
Mmm...Eva Green. XD Hawt as ever. Love the eye make up. BUT HER DRESS SUCKS!
Gawd I hate those "Dreamgirls" songs. Can't hold a note for more than a split second! Especially...what's her name...uh...Beyonce. Her voice is like "UPdownUPdownUPdown," shifting every spit second--it's awful. I don't care if it's hard to do, it's awful. It sounds like she's swallowed a vibrator. And that Celine woman sounds like she's doing an impression of a dying whale--that, or Britney Speares. I haven't decided which.
Best Original Score...man, totally shoulda been "Silent Hill." None of the nominees come close. Though, I love the joke about "Babel"'s composer not wanting it to sound like a National Geographic soundtrack. To be fair I need to see that film to judge its score, but I know my pick will remain the score of "Silent Hill."
What is with that annoying guy telling us to not go away? He's useless. He walks backstage with a microphone and an annoying voice. If anything makes me stop watching it'll be this guy!
"Little Miss Sunshine": best screenplay? Okay, it's a good movie, and it's nice to see some attention to small indie movies, but...best screenplay? What the f**k?
"Inconvinient Truth" wins best song...okay. It's the most tollerable of them, I'll give you that. Though they all suck this year. I remember one year it had a great one from "Return of the King," two great ones from "Cold Mountain" (an otherwise awful movie, though), and a great, saucy one from "The Triplets of Belleville." Now we get this s**t. Niiiice.
I love how this year is so liberal. Between "An Inconvinient Truth" winning two awards, to two of its competition documentaries taking on corruption in Christianity, to the constant array of "We need to stop global warming!" messages, to a lesbian host to a lesbian winning Best Original Song, WHILE giving a "We need to stop global warming!" message, it's great. Hah. Plus the clip of Borat with the rodeo republicans cheering for the "War of Terror."
Yay! Kate Winslet! I need to see "Little Children," just for her. She presents Film Editing...no real standouts here for me, not among THESE nominees. Sheesh.
Ewww Reese Witherspoon.
My mom keeps going "Poor Peter O'Tool. They'll have to give him a Lifetime Achivement Award." Best Actor in a Leading Role goes to Forrest Whittaker. On the cover of the DVD of "The Last King of Scottland," the film he's nominated for, it shows his face THREE TIMES. Seriously. It's like, "Starring Forrest Whittaker, and Forrest Whittaker, and--ooh!--Forrest Whittaker." Can we get a little more Forrest, fellas? For old time's sake? Maybe throw in an image of Tom Hanks as the "other" Forrest, just to mix things up.
Spielberg and Lucas (both supposedly Aspies, especially Spielberg) and Francis Ford Coppola. Great directors, except Lucas, whose best film was the original cut of "THX." All his films after "Star Wars: A New Hope" were shite.
Will somebody please explain to me why "United 93" was nominated for anything? It was overrated, speculative nonsense that didn't even develop the "real characters" we were supposed to care about. Oh, they're Americans on a plane that's been hijacked! It's sad, certainly, but so many other countries have faced atrocities far worse, far more frequently on their soil...and made films far more powerful about them.
Dude, what did I tell you? I KNEW Scorsese would win. And I'm still not happy about it.
And, finally: Jack Nicholson looks f*****g CREEPY as a skinhead.
25 Feb 2007, 7:46 pm
That was much better use of my time then actually watching that crap.
