Love on the spectrum

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So, I watched several episodes of the first season of, “Love on the Spectrum.”

Over all, I think it sends a good message about people on the spectrum dating. Still, it has lots of things that bother me.

1. It tends to focus on young adults and not the older autism populations past 25
2. It is not very diversified, they only focus on white people in middle class
3. It’s in one part of the world, not all over
4. They never really say how they place people on those the blind

What do you think?

I am watching season 1, episode 1 right now. I um, I feel kind of embarrassed. I'm like these people. Maybe more "disabled". I just feel like I have had such inflated sense of myself. Its grounding, and I needed the reality check.

I am not a big fan of reality shows and for the most part, I found the show to be somewhat boring. Honestly, I could only relate to Olivia as I am really hyper like she is. Otherwise, I could not really relate to any of them. What I also didn't like was segregating the show was. For example, they only set them up on dates with other people on the spectrum.

the trailer looks like it's a show designed to make fun of people with atypical behaviours.

It's relevant that most females who are HFA probably don't have concerns finding a B/F. Remember these girls are maybe moderately functioning and could be really shy, have compulsive behaviors as well as hyper and their parents may have volunteered them for this program.

In the first season there was a very attractive articulate HF girl who was looking for love. But it turned out she was gay.

The boys seem much more mixed in their functional ability.

Are you talking about the girl who worked at the floral shop and was also partially deaf? If she, she was adorable.

Yes that's the one. I think she was one of the few participants in the show who actually lived by herself independently. Her personality, attractiveness and overall disposition mean't she could have easily attracted any man. Her involvement in the program made me wonder whether she wasn't able to meet NT gay women, perhaps she didn't want to use dating apps.

No, Olivia lived on her own as well.

The second season had a girl who appeared to have Down syndrome. She and her boyfriend (Ronan) were really into each other and they wound up having what appears to be a very good relationship.

Downs people have beautiful souls

I just finished S2 and initially liked it better, probably because the "dating coach" (Jodi?) was less prominent. Nevertheless, I felt some disappointment at the end.

First too much time spent on Jimmy and Sharnae as I don't think their experience is consistent with the rest of the show. First, Jimmy is very HF and late diagnosed, and even if Sharnae was diagnosed as a child I believe she is actually mildly Intellectually Disabled rather than autistic but I would ask if women on WP see themselves in her.

Otherwise, it seemed that success was really reserved for those seeking same-sex relationships. Which suggests to me that ironically, there's less resistance to same-sex relationships (that involve physical intimacy) than for hetero relationships for people with disabilities, largely because they won't lead to pregnancy and because people with disabilities are actively encouraged to associate and bond with members of their own sex but kept separate from members of the opposite sex, for example I can imagine Teo's group home might have had a rule against entertaining male visitors but no restrictions on entertaining other women.

Also it became more apparent the extent to which the situations were staged. The "Michael and Heather" thing was very misleading. There are rumors either way as to which ghosted the other, but Heather happens to be on Reddit and expressed a very negative reaction to Michael's somewhat "flirtatious" behavior e.g. wanting to see her with her glasses off owing largely to the fact she is asexual (which was never made public on the show) so it's clear that Michael was being taken for a ride from the start no matter whether he or Heather is formally responsible for the "break-up".

The only other couple that came close to a "serious" relationship was Mark and Chloë. Now it seems Chloë was really into Mark before she even met him, but then it is revealed the relationship fell apart. Now I'm going to stick my neck out and suggest that this relationship might have survived had it been sexually consummated, but in line with my previous remarks I will guess it wasn't as these two aren't quite HF enough to have undertaken that on their own (and I suspect have probably both been cautioned against sex their whole lives). It seemed to me they were, as of the last date we were shown, ready for that. As for Ronan and Katie, the only way I can see them getting intimate is if they actually get married which I suppose could happen. They are at the level of functioning where pre-war standards of premarital sex still apply, however I suppose marriage might be possible for them.

In summary, I would say this show is far less groundbreaking than the showrunners would like you to think.

The fact they got engaged and married probably justifies spending a lot of time on Jimmy and Sharnae. I saw a lot of my daughter (who's on the spectrum) in Sharnae in that both have trouble regulating their emotions at times.



For reasons nobody seems to know, there's a higher percentage of LGBT people on the spectrum than in society at large.



What came through loud and clear throughout the series is that Michael has all sorts of trouble picking up social cues, which the dating coach can certainly help with but much of that is trial and error. The more he dates, the easier it will be for him to see the signs that she wasn't into him.



Since Katie appeared to have Down syndrome, that adds a whole new layer. I know nothing about intimacy for those with Down syndrome so I'll defer to anyone who has experience with that.