sharing a review of my pilot Gregory
The writer does a good job of establishing the story of this world.
“Gregory” has a wide cast of characters. Protagonist is a mysterious personality that keeps us engaged until the end, and then leaves us wondering, “What’s next?” We can root for him through his journey. His traits resonate well with his actions. Greg/Andrew has a strong character arc that carries this episode well, and the stakes are high throughout. In addition, Chris is a strong supporting character. The reader felt that the way Greg's relationship plays out with Kristina is unpredictable, and it's NOT easy to see what's going to happen.
The setting is intriguing and well created. There are some spectacular locations and events. The writer spends much of the script with the characters. This is helpful in establishing them as people. We know when the acts begin and end, so this aspect does not need much tweaking. The pacing and rhythm are good in this script too. Some parts of this script were beautiful to read and you have a natural voice for narrative writing.
The concept is bright, it just needs help through the characters, however, they have distinct individual personalities. Try to develop them a little more, and this will help the concept embolden. There are ripe character roles for diverse, high value talent and this has potential on VOD or streaming platforms with star attachments.
The overall script has a lot of great qualities that add to the world to the script. The audience would have an easy time resonating with this script, because of the external narratives each of the characters present. There is a large audience for a story like this with dramatic, action and adventure elements to broaden the script's appeal.
None the less your tone of writing and the diction you choose create a visually beautiful story. With some revisions, this script will make an excellent series.
