Board index › General Discussion › Getting to know each other

hi...New to AS...new to myself...can anybody help?

Page 2 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 72
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

19 Apr 2008, 9:44 am

When I first received my daughter's diagnosis of mental retardation and inability to process language and autistic behaviour at her age of three, I blanked out at retardation and have no idea how much longer the doctor talked to me for I heard nothing else as I struggled with a visual image of a word balloon over me like in the comics saying Mother of a Handicapped Child and of me trying to stuff the word balloon into myself. The first year every time I thought the word 'ret*d' I burst into tears. The second year I cried every time I said the word ret*d. 27 years later it's no big deal.
Then somewhat over a decade ago I realized I had Asperger's. Other than giving my Asperger's son books about the syndrome I did not do much to process the information because I was working too hard trying to survive with my violent wookie daughter's behaviour and figuring how to give her a better life. I joined WP last year after my last beautiful baby boy flew away from the nest and then I started the work of assimilating the information and figuring out how to cope, how to tell other people, decide what is syndrome and what is me and what is the synthesis etc. It's a process. Take your time and take it easy. You will live and discover gifts along the way.



ross54
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 24

19 Apr 2008, 11:57 am

lelia wrote:
I think you're my twin sister, Sofia.
You can change a little bit and you can learn methods of coping and you can stop berating yourself for being different. I'm relaxed now about my problems with recognizing people because it is not because I am lazy or self-centered. Now that I know that it's inborn, I say to people I meet the first time, please, the next time we meet, don't be afraid to reintroduce yourself again if I look bewildered. I'm missing the five brain cells that everyone else uses for instant recognition, so I would be grateful if you would help me out. Now people are glad to help me out now that they know I'm not a snob.
I was hoping somebody would bring up 'face blindness'. Lelia, I'm glad frank disclosure seems to work so well for you. It seems to me quite a serious admission to make to someone I've just met. You obviously do this in a skillful, perhaps even slightly lighthearted manner, so as not to put people off. A worthy talent in itself. I wonder if others could share how they cope with face blindness? Ross



sofia108
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 15

21 Apr 2008, 1:20 pm

Hmmm...so to what extent do you have a problem with recognizing people? and is this a known aspie trait? Haven't had issues with face blindness, luckily I'm good at remembering even random faces I see...let's hear it from you though.



lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 72
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

21 Apr 2008, 2:29 pm

I don't know what percentage of us have trouble recognizing faces. I know that no one but people with asperger's have admitted it to me. I think it may be easier for women to disclose faults We're always complaining to each other about body parts and hair and inefficencies anyway as a way to empathize with each other. I've had a number of women admit they admire me because I'm so brave in openly talking about the antidepressant medicine I take. What's to be embarrassed about? I didn't plan to shut down my serotonin production. I'm pretty sure men can't even imagine doing that what with their competiveness and testosterone.

The other thing I can't recognize is cars. I must look like a prowler as I look inside cars to find the one in the parking lot with my stuff in it.