New, undiagnosed, and unsure.

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Thanks! Hey, any advice on getting any help/diagnosis for an adult??? Someone please clue me in.....I feel like I'm in a whole new world! Oh wait.....I AM

A blog I recently posted...


Ok... here goes. This will not be linear; that much I can promise.

On June 1st, I will celebrate the tenth birthday of someone I've never met, yet who I love very much and who is in my thoughts every day... my son. That is another subject altogether, however. Some time ago, I learned that he was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, or Asperger's Syndrome... something that surprised me greatly and set me off in a tizzy of research in the hopes of understanding about him by proxy. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) cover a wide range of conditions, from severe classic autism to Kanner's Syndrome to Asperger's Syndrome and even stepping into the realms of savantism. In individuals who experience the world through the lens of Asperger's, they are often of average or above-average intelligence without significant language impairment - however, they experience the inability to read social stimuli (tone, body language, personal space), are overwhelmed by sensory input (tactile, tone/volume, color, light, taste and smell), need alone time to 'detox' and relax from the stress of interacting with others, tend to have compulsive habits and fixations while interruption of schedules or expectations is distressing. Aspies often experience meltdowns in the instances of the latter, or when placed in a position they find uncomfortable socially. Their fixations are deep and transition from one to another while often maintaining the prior interests. Repetition and familiarity are important to their ability to function. There are some coordination issues, often with tasks such as tying one's shoes. Personal relationships are exceedingly difficult due to the nature of their personalities and their somewhat eccentric needs and routines. Not necessarily all traits are expressed in all individuals. It is a disorder, without a cure, that can be experienced with a high coincidence of other symptoms, but it is not without some positive aspects/experiences for those on the high functioning end of the spectrum. This information is just a synopsis of what I have read and learned through participation in discussion forums online; if you want to learn more, I will be glad to provide some resources that I've used along the way. I digress... as I was saying, I hoped to learn more about my son through my research - what I got was a lot more surprising. When I took the Autism Quotient survey that I posted earlier - http://www.msnbc.com/modules/newsweek/a ... efault.asp - in my blog, I was shocked:

I scored a 46.

I took the test again, and again. I took it from the POV of how I think I see myself, and how I believe others perceive me... knowing that I had changed at least some answers in the process. 46, over and over again. While I know it's not a diagnostic test and only focuses on three tendencies that are common in Aspies, it's still the highest score that I've found in asking those around me to take it as a barometer of it's accuracy. In my own opinion... it's not too far off in assessing myself or those around me. Almost everyone who shared their score with me was just about where I would have assumed they would based on my experience and knowledge of them. A higher score doesn't prove that you have a specific condition - you might just be more of an introvert or have another social or developmental disorder that shares characteristics with that part of the autistic spectrum. It was striking to me that so many of those I am closest to scored on the opposite end of the scale, though...

So I read more.

So many of the stories are like reading from my own childhood... the time spent trying to learn what people were saying, overcoming mild speech impediments, reading the library dry of astronomy and Greek/Roman mythology at the age of 6, my frustration in trying to cope with social situations, the fact that many of my friends (and as I'm told, certainly my fashion) dates back much further than my peers... well into my elementary school years (Peter, Jocelyn, Mark, Denali), though strikingly very few of my friends come from my junior high experience - Brian is really the only one who came from those years - but again, I digress... as I read, the question began to form: do I have Asperger's Syndrome? It would explain a lot of things that haven't been explained by depression, or looking at how my experiences fit into various other conditions. And, of course... I kept researching.

I found another test: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Here, on a 200 point scale, my score on the autistic side is 172 while my score on the neuro-typical side (a term used to describe those who are not on the autistic spectrum) was a mere 42.

So after weeks of reading, discussing, and receiving responses from friends and family... I'm ready to move forward with finding a doctor with experience with the condition in adults who would be able to help me include or exclude the diagnosis in order to better help me understand myself. The responses I've received when broaching the idea with them have been extremely varied; from strong agreement and acceptance, to curiosity and shared experiences, to vehement denial and some odd accusations. But the most inspiring thing I've found thus far is that when I read about the experiences of those with AS, and their mechanisms for coping with stress and situations... for the first time, those suggestions seem to be working for me, as though there is finally a place that fits instead of me constantly feeling like an actor when around people, trying to anticipate reactions and correctly respond instead of changing the subject back to what I would rather talk about.

Now the forum is open for discussion; I invite each of you to provide your input, your thoughts on what I've said, if there are any experiences we've had that stand out as being indicative one way or the other. This is a learning experience, but already i know that others have benefited from the conversation being started... so what can be hurt by taking that further? Based on what I've read and understand, I don't see Asperger's as a condition of mental retardation, but rather a strikingly different lens of perspective on the world of social interaction and personal structure. In society, it's effects can be crippling, but they can also be addressed in different ways... a curious condition, to say the least, and one not very well known or understood. At this point, ASDs are believed to occur in the US at a rate of 1 out of every 150; in Britain, the number is thought to be 1 out of fewer than one hundred. The cause is not known directly, though there is a fairly strong indication for genetic concordance in those who experience various spectrum disorders. There are so many things that make sense now... I would really appreciate the perspectives of others.


M.

Hello.
Welcome to WrongPlanet.

I have to say that the way u describe yourself is very similar to the I feel. For me I feel that i need to be in control all the time and if thing dont go my way i feel very anxious. I just recently got diagnosed (around a month ago) I was lucky enough to find a person who understood aspergers and was kind of a specialist at it. But I have to say that all the people i saw before hand thought i was just acting to get attention. I am also the same as you in that I get onto a certain subject and can talk about it for hours but for me it is chemistry.