I want to go home......

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I've thought this since I was a little kid, and I'm 51 now. I always felt like someone dumped me on this planet and forgot to send the rule book along. I have to admit that I approach living on this planet as an anthropologist observing a strange species and trying to act enough like them to survive. I've managed to fake it fairly well, but it always gets to be too much after awhile. "Fitting in" is not second nature and much of the time it's repugnant.

I haven't been formally diagnosed yet, might never be, but depending on my mood or my interpretation of the questions I get anywhere from 149 to 171 on the Aspie Quiz. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, but I don't think that's accurate. It's hard for me to figure out what fits from DSMV, but I recognize myself in so many of the posts here. And if I don't recognize myself I recognize many of the people that have really seemed to understand me.

I am 51, a woman, living in New Mexico USA. I have four kids: 30, 28, 17, and 6. My youngest is having difficulties in school, to put it mildly. I strongly suspect she's on the spectrum somewhere. She's bright, funny, very verbal, affectionate (with adults), charming (with adults), way beyond her years at times--but she flips when she's in groups of children that she's expected to interact with. She's also having difficulties with reading, writing, and numbers. At school she runs around, makes strange noises, and generally acts odd. She's painfully aware of being different and does want friends. I tried putting her in an art class. Within five minutes she was running around the room flapping her hands. Her dad is a genius and even more aspie than I am. Kayli and things pertaining to her are pretty much my special interests for now.

Other special interests are cosmetics (although I rarely wear them), and soapmaking.

Hello and welcome to Wrong Planet, fellow-traveler Magique. And best of luck to you and to your six-year old.

I identify with you on so many levels! I'm 55, and all my life I've felt like I should be wearing a sign that says, ''Don't ask me, I'm just a tourist here''!
And like your daughter, I was strange in school and could relate to adults, but was totally lost with other kids. I felt like I had been placed in a zoo by mistake- but I was the one they said acted like an animal! NT's- never knew what they wanted from me.

Thank you. I know how it is for her. I was strange in school too. I related better to adults mostly because my understanding and vocabulary were closer to their level. They were also some protection from the bullies. I was a bully magnet, and unfortunately so is Kayli. Actually, Kayli is strange with adults too, but they're more tolerant of different behavior.

About your child who's having a problem learning to read:

My grandson, now almost 11, had such a problem also (at the age of 6, or so). His parents discovered that he was so far-sighted that he couldn't see the letters and numbers clearly.

With glasses his reading performance sky-rocketed to the extent that when he took a reading (vocabulary, etc.) test a year ago, his ability equalled that of the average college freshman. (I do wonder whether that may indicate more about the average student's ability than it does about his ability, but it's worth thinking about!)

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hi Magique,

I identify with you too. I am 51 female. I kind of identified with your youngest girl too, when
I was her age. It sounds like you are a great mom and care about your daughter very
much, and want to help her in any way you can, which is awesome. I was not so lucky
as a kid. It's all water under the bridge though. I have a son in his 20's who I am quite
sure is Aspie too, but will not accept help in any way, and mistrusts everyone, including
me, which is a bummer. I think my mother has it too. Clearly statistics show that our
special "uniqueness" does run in families. Most of the time I do not think of it as a curse,
except when I have to deal with my hyper-sensitive hearing which totally sucks. Anyway,
welcome and glad to have you here!

Thanks. I'm just trying to keep Kayli from being crushed by the system. She's fine no matter what her wiring happens to be. Her reading issues appear to be more of a neurology thing than a sight thing. It's hard to say since she wouldn't cooperate with testing.

Hi Magique welcome, I was only diagnosed last year in my late 40s and I understand exactly what you mean about the wrong rule book. I have this new too "aspergers" but its taken nearly half my life to get it so wrong, I have had to adapt and change and now time to revert your daughter sounds a lot like me, school and me like oil and water, never worked, still she has you and like my older son who is on the autism spectrum having me to understand him, has helped his happy confidence and a very proud aspie like myself. I have so many labels that seem to overlap and interact, I do wonder if I need them at all and is it in fact the NT world wanting explanations for what they do not understand!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP!

yo

Greetings

I found Martial Arts helped me ward away the bullies in school (mostly). It changes the way a person walks sometimes (it did for me, I did Tae Quan Do and a Tai Chi teacher told me he could see it in my walk) and gives confidence. People stopped bothering me so much after taking it up.

Perhaps it would help? Hope I'm helping, sorry if I'm not by this.

Magique, your daughter and mine seem to have a lot in common. My daughter (6) is also... different... with other children, though very bright and articulate with people she's comfortable around (mainly family). One advantage she has in school is her strong reading skills. I attribute this in part to systematic learning, using the book "teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons". I used the same book when teaching my son to read (he is 10 now, and also on the spectrum), and both my children are very strong readers. There's something to be said for a codebook for a bizarre written language like English! Best of luck... and your daughter sure sounds like a wonderful human being.

She is wonderful. She's having trouble learning to read. She's been evaluated for LD but wouldn't cooperate with the tester. If there were some way to do it by computer maybe it would work better. Even with me she turns off on academic stuff. So I just read to her a lot. I have a feeling that once she's convinced that the initial tedium is worth dealing with she'll be fine. I've started reading chapter books to her.