NEWBIE - I love the site name. Exactly how I feel most days

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G'day all,

My name's Joe, I'm Australian and new around here. I found a description of Asperger's (sp?) a little while ago when I was doing some research into empathy (or what I think is my lack of it). I'm trying to decide if I should see someone (psych. etc) to determine (or best guess) if I have some sort of 'mental difference' from most 'normal' people.

I'd like some opinions from people who are Aspergian (sp? correct?) to see if I see similarities to myself (or vice versa).

A few facts about myself.

- I'm in my early twenties.
- I'm married with no kids.
- I've got a well paying job (by the national average).
- I'm fit and healthy.

A few feelings abut myself.

- I have very few interests. And the interests I do have I pursue with gusto.

- I have definite trouble feeling for others. I understand why they might feel they way they do. It just doesn't seem to influence or affect me much.

- I'm a fair loner.

- I love useless facts. I'm known for remembering the names of actors (from movies I like) and being a general fountain of irrelevant knowledge.

- I often express myself poorly. I usually have to try and justify my opinion or the way I voiced it.


- I don't think I 'listen' very well.

- I like science fiction / fantasy fiction. I enjoy the escapism.

- I like to think up stories, but have real trouble writing them down.

- I think I spend a lot of time saying and thinking what is expected, not how I actually feel.

- I regularly feel I was born in the wrong time, on the wong planet, in the wrong country etc.

- My wife often misunderstands me (in my mind). What I say seems legit to me, but often causes tension. I'm pretty sure she'a 'right' most of time, I just have trouble figuring out why.


Just trying to figure it all out.

Joe.

Joe, welcome on this website.

I just read your message and decided to reply because I have some characteristics in common with you.
First of all, I want to say that I have ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome, but my AS is not officially diagnosed in my country (France). I only know through online tests and the opinion of Dr. Anthony Atwood in an e-mail.
The words you may find to describe someone with Asperger's Syndrome are Asperger, Aspie or Aspergians (from Aspergia, the name of an online community for Asperger).

Like you, I have a few interests that I am totally into.
I love useless knowledge/useless facts.
I feel I was born on the wrong planet.
I like science-fiction.
But unlike you, people say I am a good listener.

I hope you will enjoy this site.

Loy

Hi Joe,
If you are not sure if you have Asperger's, you can take a self-diagnosis test. You can get it in pdf form at http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/papers/2001_BCetal_AQ.pdf.

That is a research paper. Take the test before you read the paper! The test starts on page 18. Info on how to score the test is on page 9. It's a little complicated, but if you're as auspie, no problem.

Joe, welcome to WrongPlanet.

I also love useless knowledge/useless facts. Insigificant things can actually be more important than some people think.

Useless facts can be a random treasure. Even if not, they're still fun!
It's probably not so much that your wife is right/you're wrong as that she doesn't realize what it is exactly that you're saying so you're kind of having two different conversations. I live with an NT and often there is tension because it's assumed I have hidden context to my statements.
Just an example:
NT asks: "What's going on?"
I say: "I was thinking about going for a walk but then it got too late."
What I mean: "I was thinking about going for a walk but then it got too late."
What NT hears: "You screwed up my evening because you were not home in time for me to go for a walk."
Not-so-much-hilarity ensues.
*sigh*
Hopefully your experience isn't this extreme as this particular example though!