Hallo.
I joined this forum a couple of years ago, but have never posted up till now - partly because I wasn't sure if it would be helpful to post about my condition in a place like this, and partly because I didn't know where to begin.
If it's okay, I might use this questionnaire as a way of introducing myself here for the first time.
I looked at the subforum for introducing myself, and just couldn't see myself writing a whole piece giving a potted history of myself, since I doubted whether many people would find it interesting to write such an account of someone they wouldn't know from a bar of soap. And my life story wouldn't make very inspiring or encouraging reading, anyway. Once upon a time I might have had the ego to relish the chance to write a whole thing about myself - but I find the idea vaguely distasteful now, especially jumping in on a forum like this for the first time and with people I don't know.
Well, maybe I'm about to do a similar thing in answering these questions; but at least the questions give me some evidence that there are people interested to read people's answers to those questions.
Quote:
What is your first name?
Michael.
Quote:
Age:
55.
Quote:
Location:
Victoria, Australia.
Quote:
Hobbies and Interests:
Playing piano, composing music, trains, writing stories, recreational mathematics (a la Martin Gardner), computer programming, creating web site (roughly in that chronological order, although much overlapping). I must qualify it by saying that most of these have faded in recent years or become fitful, due to possible deterioration of my emotional condition and ability to organize my life.
Quote:
Why are you here?
To see what other people with similar conditions are like, to see whether I can fit in with them and find a kinship, to find out if I want to talk about my condition (something I'm not sure about yet).
Quote:
When were you diagnosed?(skip if you don't have a disorder):
Depends on what you mean by "diagnosed". I'm not sure I've ever been formally diagnosed; but when I failed to talk or toilet-train "on schedule", aged 2 or 3, my parents desperately took me from one doctor or psychiatrist to another, and their consensus seemed to be that I was autistic, although I don't know if this was a formal diagnosis or just a personal opinion from each. (Obviously I don't remember this, so I have to rely on second-hand accounts from my mother about this many years after the fact.)
More recently (a few years ago) a psychiatrist I saw for some months said he believed I had Asperger's Syndrome, and also A.D.H.D. - the latter of which surprised me to hear, but I can see that it makes a certain sense.
Quote:
Favorite subjects:
Classical music, science-fiction, computer programming (at least back in the MS-DOS era - that's faded with the G.U.I. Windows era, which I detest). Other things I'm not ready to disclose yet, but may later if I fit into the forum well and get to know a few people.
Quote:
Year/Grade:
Form 4 (Year 10 in the current Australian system).
Quote:
Favorite music:
Classical, especially from Beethoven to about mid-20th century. I quite enjoy some film music, light orchestral music, ragtime, and other things of a more popular nature.
Quote:
Books:
I was mad on Enid Blyton's adventure stories as a boy, and still have a nostalgic interest in that. Science-fiction, horror novels, and others of a rather speculative character - oddly enough, not outright fantasy so much.
Quote:
TV shows/Movies:
Not interested in visual media, and almost incapable of following plots on T.V. or in movies: I can never remember the characters, and am always asking things like "Why is he doing that?", "Who is that?", and so on. It's all so much mental effort to keep track of it all, and becomes quite stressful, so I don't usually bother. But I do have a few movies from my childhood I feel nostalgic about, and like - such as "Lost in the Desert" (I wrote the Wikipedia article on this movie), "2001: A Space Odyssey", which I have seen at least 7 times and reacted differently to each time, and still don't really understand what it's about, but am quite fascinated by - and various others.
I do happen to watch certain T.V. programs when visiting my mother, but otherwise don't bother, and don't even own a T.V. myself.
Quote:
Instrument:
Piano - classical, and a certain range of more popular things. But this has slid in recent years. Fewer people own pianos now, and there is less and less scope for playing for other people, and I find that playing just for myself is not enougjht to motivate mne to practice and stick wtih it. If that were otherwise, I might be close to concert standard by now.
I also used to try to compose music, and this was what I wanted to do more than anything else - but I have largely given this away recently for a variety of reasons I won't bore readers with now. Even when I was heavily into it, I seemed to lack the ability to finish things I started, so I have thousands of good ideas only half-worked out.
Quote:
Do you like sports?
No - neither as spectator or participant. I went to schools where either sport or gym classes were compulsory, and they were hell on earth for me. I was a typical unsporty nerd, and the sorts of things that you'd expect to happen to such people in that environment happened to me. I hated undressing in front of other school boys (they were boys-only schools), and I think that environment triggers quite nasty primitive instincts in school boys.
I think sport is just not in my temperament anyway, but it's possible these unfortunate school encounters turned me particularly against sport for life.
Quote:
Family:
None of my own (never married or had kids); two brothers (both married with kids), no sisters, mother still alive. A couple of aunts and uncles I'm quite close to.
Quote:
Clothing:
Completely uninterested in clothing, but prefer something conservative and unobtrusive. Am not interested in using clothing to show personality or individuality.
Quote:
How did you find this website?
Not sure - probably read about it on the Internet (where I waste far too much time), and was curious enough to join.
Quote:
Job:
None. I have been on a disability pension since 1983. Before that, I had a series of menial jobs which bored me out of my mind and I got sacked from them within days, weeks, or months at the most.
Quote:
Plans for the future?
I used to have them: I once wanted to become a composer, or a writer, and then later I studied computer programming thinking (in my mid 30s) I could belatedly have a career there - but, for various reasons, that didn't work. I can't change and adapt quickly enough to fit into the computer industry, and even if I had completed my course I don't think such a career would have worked.
For instance, I was devastated when MS-DOS-style computing gave way to graphic user interfaces, which I hate and consider inferior - a backward step if you ask me - and I would never have adapted to this in a professional setting and probably would have fallen out of the industry. It was better, in retrospect, to find out early that I wasn't goint to pursue that career than to find out later.
It's going to sound negative and pessimistic - but I must be truthful - I have almost no plans now, except to pass the rest of my life as painlessly as possible. I've got piles of still-unread science-fiction books I hope to read, which may pass quite a bit of time enjoyably. I have almost completely abandoned all the earlier grand plans of my youth, and am quite scared of the probable future that faces me.
You often hear of Asperger's and autism in connection with children, and I often wonder what happens to Asperger's or autistic adults, and especially wonder how their lives end. The possibilities scare the hell out of me.
Quote:
Any comments?
Nothing comes to mind. If I keep posting to this forum, I may well be moved to post on various topics that arise, or to pose topics of my own.
I hope my answers are not too long or detailed: but one characteristic of myself is a tendency to be detailed and precise, and I cannot seem to suppress this.
Regards, Michael.
30 May 2009, 11:11 pm
). I was a big fan of Buffy/Angel. Movies - "The Zero Effect" is probably one of my top favorite movies.
