Asperger's is a Gift

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And, yes, I forgot to mention, whomever you might be, doubting you're really Bill Gates (I have heard that he lives in Washington State, not California) ... success stories like that are great to hear. We all need to hear them, because it will help lift some of us up.

- Ray M -

ahem, if Oz_Sputnik wants to share his name I'm sure he'll do so

in the meanwhile we shouldn't post guesses I believe

Thank you so much Oz_Sputnik for sharing your experiences with us .
It is so good to hear real examples of how positive thinking can help achieve goals and personal success.
Welcome to Wrong Planet and keep posting

Ahhh...I posted under my real name many years ago in another public forum. I was swamped with tons of email and a couple of star stalkers emerged. I had to change my email addy it got so bad. Since then, I've always remained anonymous in all of them...and I suppose I post in about 30. I discovered that by remaining anonymous, over time, the regular members of these forums eventually lose that awstruck feeling of having somebody famous amoungst their mists, and treat me as just another regular member, which is all I want to be...just a regular guy. The media likes to focus on the glamor, the money, the homes, the women or men in our lives, the beauty, etc....but once I assimilate into these forums, peeps realize that I too get tooth decay, get behind on my laundry, and other normal human qualities. Comedy was merely a source of income for me, no different than any other job in my mind. If I was a computer programmer or engineer, I doubt very much if there would be a group of people waiting to have an autograph when I finished for the day, yet fame creates this atmosphere for entertainers. I dunno what it is about being in showbiz, but everybody gets so goofy at times around fame. I would say the frenzy is purely a media derived creation.



I have always known most of my success was because I what I had. After I realized I was different than normal people so many years ago, instead of going into a funk because I didn't fit in society, I went in just the opposite direction...I began to relish and appreciate my uniqueness and my gifted skills. Society has a tendancy to shun or approach human abnormalities as being genetically inferior, but in my mind, I was genetically superior. Over time, my thinking and behaviors created an image I portrayed to the world of being a genetic Superman. I could use my intellect and humor to absolutely bury a bully or somebody being very condescending in life if the occasion required it. There is a scene in the movie "Good Will Hunting", where a group of frat boys are tossing their college education around in a bar, and Matt Damon finally has enough, steps in and destroys these chaps with his knowledge. That's pretty much how I have handled those very same situations in life, however Matt went easy on those guys compared to how I'll open up my 16" guns. I've been called "The Comedy Uzi" because I'll pepper a jerk so fast and powerful in a shot burst, they're basically a Crispy Critter when I get done with them. In my world, I've made Aspergers not an affliction, but something that is desired to have by others. I always hear behind my back, "wow...that brain of his". I made Asperger's very, very admirable to have.

Oz

Hi Oz, There's quite a few of us aspies who have excelled and in the process made life better for other people. It seems to me that your point is that it is possible to overcome our difficulties and succeed in employment. The problem that I can see for most of us is that the aspies who succeed on the terms you describe do so because their talents are somehow useful or marketable in industrial society. If an aspie's skills are not marketable then we experience unemployment or underemployment. My point is that it is not a matter of our individualized will to overcome, but our success or failure tends to depend on whether our particular talents are marketable or not.

My skills or talents aren't very marketable, and I am on disability with a part-time job. I count my success in other terms. I am very fortunate to have a loving family and I am blessed to be mother to my wonderful children who make every day worth living.

Good point. I guess my image of success has focused on the monetary/income/employment levels, so let me shift gears for a minute. Success in life has many faces...to some it is wealth, to some it is family, to some it's their vocation, other's just being happy...it's entirely subjective to each individual's interpretation. Whatever you're personal interpretation is, I firmly believe that if you approach Asperger's, not as an affliction or hinderence, but as a true unique gift, and apply this mindset to your daily activities, the pure positve outlook can result in you achieving success in life at whatever level you desire.

Until I began posting in here, I've lurked in three Asperger's forums since 2002; this one, one on Yahoo and the OASIS forums. I see many more negative posts about despair, worry...um, acceptance that life dealt you a bad hand and you're stuck being you other than the positive ones. HOWEVER, and this is very important, this is NOT unique amoungst AS...but runs throughout society. I've seen it in just about every other forum from investors, real estate, marketing, cooking...even in my own profession where I have daily contact with young comics who are "hoping" to become successful instead of knowing they can become successful. I've taught success seminars at $200 a pop per person where I have executives with Harvard degrees, young entreprenuers, Mom & Pop newbies...all of them paying with the anticipation that I can teach them to become rich, when in reality what I'm trying to teach them is to identify what success means to them, and then go after that goal. These are not AS afflicted folks, but NT's who basically have not reached a success in life, because they don't know what success is. They think it's money, wealth, fame or a job AND they think that is what made me a success. Hopefully by the end of my hour and a half, I've pointed out to them that the foundation to the secrets of my success, was how amazing it is in life to be an individual...a one of a kind on this planet out of billions of human lifeforms...never to be duplicated. I carry a hand held mirror in my briefcase, and I have everyone in my seminar hold it before them and take a deep look...stare for many minutes...and let it sink in, that they are so amazing if they quit comparing themselves to the rest of the world...and just gaze in complete awe at how wonderful it is to be so completely unique and one of a kind. To me, that revelation of individuality is the door to opening success in your life, no matter what "spectrum" of life you are in.

Oz

thanks for putting your thoughts here.

Last edited by What-ever on 22 May 2006, 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

it can be a gift, however it can be the opposite. I can solve problems within seconds, I'm usually the best at whatever mental/physical activity my friends are doing. However, there is no career/job in which these skills benifit me, so I feel like most of my life is a waste of time.

Oz, Please, I don't mean in anyway to disrespect you or your ideals. I get enough of that kind of disrespect out in the NT world. The fact is that you started such an interesting discussion, and being an aspie and all, I must speak what I feel needs to be said. Americans seem to think that individualism is the be all and end all of all meaning on this planet. The rest of the world is like, WTF? Who really cares if you are an individual or not? What IS it about being an "individual" that makes this such a core value in American culture? It is a great mystery to me, as a Canadian. And as a disabled woman and a mother I am in a position where I value and recognize interdependence and community over a model of success that emphasizes individualism and therefore competition.

I agree that Asperger's can be a gift. Adult Aspies are often very talented in ways that normals are not and this is the result of the socalled uneven development of our brains. We excel in certain areas, but have deficits in other areas. In order to make the most of our potential we need an environment that recognizes community based values over profit. We need the kinds of supports that were available before the socalled free trade agreement with its emphasis on those socalled (but not really) individualistic value of corporate America.

As an aussie my perception of mainstream Amercian culture is vastly different. The 'individual' does not seem to factor into their culture at all [keeping in mind that aussies are probably exposed to a completly different american ideal than Canadians]. They [the media side] seem obsessed with perfection or putting forward the illusion of prefection. Their elite are no doubt inidividuals themselves.. but the 'rest of us' seemed to get the constant sales pitch that our happiness depends on being like them. I find the magazines creepy.. [as in village of the damned]. Fake. Why do average people think it's real? Or if they don't.. why do they keep selling this idea to us? Why do many of them look like the were put out by mattel in a collectors edition? Do they themsleves feel fulfilled because people want to be them? I can't imagine what it would feel for someone to look in the mirror and expect to see some resemblence of an image they've tried to impress on everyone.

Of course everyone wears a mask so maybe it's just tenfold for what it is like for everyone else [not that I wear a mask.. haven't figured out how to].

Oz. Not talking about you specifically.. more about the class dynamic.

I get a chuckle out of how threads can drift away in public forums into different tangents. This thread began with my introduction, a bit of history about myself, some cheerleading for Asperger's as a gift instead of an affliction, the fixation of fame by the populous and now debate over socio-economic societies of the world. I love it.

Individualism is the backbone of the US. Our country was founded on it's principles, and our Constitution is firmly based on the rights of individuals over the rights of a government. Our economy is capitalism, once again a byproduct of the freedoms awarded to individuals, the right to work as hard as you want and keep the rewards of that work. The so called "evil" corporations of the US are nothing more than an extension of that individualism. Every US corporation can trace it's roots to an individual that created it to further grow his product or service. The huge General Electric Corporation was started by Thomas Edison. Dupont was created by a French immigrant. US Steel by a poor Scottish immigrant named Andrew Carnegie, Standard Oil by John Rockefeller who worked out of a traveling peddler's wagon. Henry Ford thought you could build cars a better way and basically invented the assembly line now found in every manufacturer. Lastly, let's not forget a fellow Aspie Bill Gates, who had a vision of a personal computer sitting in everybody's house. A corporation is nothing more than a business structure that allows OTHER individuals to own and share the growth of the original individual(s) creations, products, motivations and hard work.

Individualism permeates throughout our society. Even protest movements are based on them, the conservatve right banging the drum of don't you dare take away an individual's rights to gun and property ownership; and the liberal left marching to the tune of don't you dare infringe on the rights of the individual for free assembly or a free press. Both defer to our government to guarantee these rights. Even political change in our country is based on this individualism. Our government runs most efficiently when it upholds the individual rights of all citizens, however if it becomes too conservative or too liberal, taking away the rights of one group, this country has proven time and again for over 200 years that those individual rights WILL NOT BE DENIED, and the unbalanced government gets voted out. Politcal change in our country always happens when the government begins to supercede the individual.

If you do not live here, I do not expect you to understand us. I'm not going to thump my chest and claim we are the greatest, the best, the most unique, etc. culture in the world. That would be ignorant on my behalf because the US way is the ONLY way I know. I'm sure because of the current administration running the government, with it's focus on US Imperialism over the needs and desires of it's citizens, has left us with a very ugly global image. It is building into a massive movement for change internally here. All I can say is just watch...watch at how fast our government will change and the direction our country will go as individual rights are once again imposed upon our government as the foundation for our society. It's just the way our country functions.

Oz

Corporations may be started by individuals but they are more a reflection of consumerism than individualism.. otherwise there'd be no such thing as dress codes or terms like "Yes boss." ..or child workers in asia making t-shirts with the 'right' labels [that image thing ].
It's a system that feeds into itself. Hierchy is a completely natural things in our species.. too much individualism would cause anarchy as they'd be no-one willing to take orders to keep society running.. too much oppression and those usually willing to 'go with the flow' want their freedoms back so start helping the individuals already rocking the boat to capsize it. Revolutions seem to come in cycles.. unfortuantly it seems [historically] that the people have to be pushed to the brink before they start fighting back.

Interesting thread progression.

I quite agree with riley; American culture seems to be more about emulating of archetypes than true individuality. A fine example would be the collection of autographs. By gaining a small momento of the celebrity, their fame/status is shared out; one gains a little by proxy.

You see the same sort of thing in old french traditions of dipping scarves and kerchiefs in the blood of the beheaded nobility. A piece of star is gained.

In this regard I disagree with anandamide; Canada is much more about the individual than America. When people speak of "Jefferson" and "Washington" or "Laurier" and "Trudeau", they are not speaking of people, they are speaking of an ideal that they held, or a stance that the politician held. Nobody speaks of the human traits of the famous; nobody says, "Oz_Sputnik is hard to wake up in the morning", because the primary concern is the traits by which we measure ourselves against; The typical human foibles are of no interest.

Canadians speak far less of their cultural heros, and it is not because they venerate them less, it is because they see them as regular people; more as individuals, real, and on a par with the average Canadian, less of archetypes. Thats treating each as an individual.

The stars get tired of the adulations; to give autographs and photos with fans gives away part of themselves; they lose their privacy, become less of individuals.

I was at the drugstore, and a lady beside me picked up a issue of "People" and I said to her, "Do you think the people on the cover read magazines about ordinary people?" She said, "Why would they want to?", and scurried off. I guess that sums it up. For her, anyway.

¡So very, very true!

Welcome to WP and thank you very much for sharing your experiences with us!

hi welcome to WP

I'm glad you're happy now I am also happy for you for finding someone who understands you.

oz,

I was reading in the forum as a lurker looking desperatly to find the answers to my woes, my son is 7 and i always knew he was gifted and a little bit differnt and was always his biggest cheerleader and by his side then one day i ran into an article (just recently)describing AS and i got panicked becasue it sounded like my son I thought "no no no nothing is wrong with him this can't be true" i felt sad and depressed...even until a few minutes ago I would one minute feel glad that i know he has this and now i can better help him then sad and ask "why?" alot...then i read your post and I feel like a million bucks again. I went back to my old dreams of my son, i went back to my chest being puffed out again and proud, he may have AS but he is wonderful...how many kids you know, know thier division and multiplication facts in kindergarten and can apply them in real life situations! I am very proud and so thankful i read your email you gave me stregnth again when i really needed it, i am sitting here trying to type through my blurry eyes. Thank you for writing. You were just what i needed. And whoever you are you are great. I am proud of you too