Hi All! New Member Here Very Exited About Participatng!

Post Reply New Topic

Hey everyone!

My name is Jared, but you can call me "Enema", and I am a 22-year-old student living in Arkansas. I have been lurking in these forums for a few weeks and I must say that I have become very intrigued and piqued by what I have learned on here thus far. Since I have discerned most of the features available on this website I feel that I am now ready to finally make the transition from a silent onlooker into an active participant. It is my hope that this site and the people on it will offer me a great deal of insight not only into the subjects of AS and autism but also into many of the "normal" themes that make up important facets in the vast and variable spectrum of the human experience. I also hope that the knowledge I have obtained during my many years in the psychological system can be put to use by anyone who has a question or problem that could benefit from my input. After all, you only get out as much as you put in.

Moving on...

Here is a brief description of how I finally determined my condition to be AS:

After extensive reading and many family discussions I have concluded, with little doubt, that I have Asperger syndrome. My parents (who are also well-read on AS) and I are in complete agreement on this fairly recent realization, and we plan on requesting that the proper steps required to ascertain a formal diagnosis of AS be initiated upon our next visit to the psychiatrist later in the month.

Anyway, here is my story in a condensed, albeit still lengthy, form. Oh, and feel free to stop reading at any time. I assure you that my feelings will not be hurt ...

I was first diagnosed with social anxiety disorder when I was sixteen years old. I went to see a psychiatrist only after I had researched social anxiety disorder and then compared the symptoms I had experienced to those documented as conditional for a clinical diagnosis of SAD. After much reading I became convinced that SAD was indeed the likely culprit, and after a fairly quick interview the doctor made the formal diagnosis and then immediately started me on medicinal therapy (Zoloft). I still believe that SAD was a correct diagnosis. However, I know now that SAD is not the primary source of my issues. I spent the next few years after this initial diagnosis cycling through medication after medication all while undergoing intensive cognitive behavioral therapy from a highly recommended and qualified psychologist. I even tried going without medication for close to a two-year period, which only succeeded in furthering the degradation of my condition . In fact, none of these treatments, medicinal or cognitive, managed to curb my adverse symptoms toward a tolerable level, and my illness only worsened over time.

After a solid two-and-a-half years of cognitive behavioral therapy I finally came to the conclusion, again through extensive research, that I had ADHD in addition to SAD. How my doctor failed during any of our weekly therapy sessions to ever relate even one of my symptoms to attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder still leaves me dumbfounded, especially since he is one of only two professionals in my area who have the credentials necessary to diagnose ADHD in adults. My ADHD symptoms are, at least to me and those close to me, clearly and overtly prevalent throughout my personality, so why my doctor never presented me with at least the prospect of ADHD as a possible issue is, again, a baffling concept. Anyway, once I was fairly confident in my self-diagnosis of ADHD I casually offered up a concerned statement to my doctor where I brought up the possibility that I might be afflicted with said disorder. After initiating the subject of ADHD he then gave me a fairly simple oral examination. After the exam he derived my condition to be ADHD along with the comorbid illnesses of social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. We then made the mutual assertion that psychotherapy was not likely to help my illness. Thusly, our relationship was terminated.

Some time after ending psychotherapy I began to experience an amount of distress that had been previously unknown to me. I made the deduction that this heightened form of distress resulted from the fact that most of my fears and frustrations remained unchecked and internalized for an extensive amount of time. During this period my irrational fears were offered no outlet whatsoever for externalization. As a result they were allotted unrestrained time and boundless room to grow and fester like a figurative "cancer of the mind". Eventually all of this pain and confusion came to a head, and I developed a panic disorder. This, along with my other poorly maintained mental conditions, led to my rapid decline into a nearly full-fledged state of agoraphobia. When my agoraphobia was at its peak I would only leave the house under the rarest of circumstances, whether I was medicated or not. When it became apparent that my situation required a more extensive treatment I began to see a psychiatrist who practices about an hour from my home. I have worked with at least eight psychologists/psychiatrists, and I can honestly say that the methods utilized by my current doctor have proven to be far more effective than any implemented by those prior to him.

This doctor prefers to assess and treat symptoms rather than the labels these symptoms might fall under (AS, ADHD, etc.). I therefore find his opinions concerning a clinical diagnosis of AS to be perfectly justifiable. He surmises that a firm diagnosis of AS is unnecessary since any treatment targeted at any adverse symptoms that would fall under the "umbrella" of Asperger syndrome would not change. Despite this fact my parents and I would still like a definitive diagnosis of AS. I believe that the knowledge gained from having clinical proof of Asperger syndrome as the root of my dilemma would clarify to no end the reasons behind a plethora of the problems and hindrances that I have encountered during my lifetime. A legal diagnosis of AS would also entitle me to certain accommodations that might be required in the future for school, work, etc.

As I mentioned before, my family and I have read heavily into the subject of AS and have thus determined with very little reservation that I do indeed have it, so at this point a professional diagnosis of AS is required mainly for legal reasons.

I digress...

I am not getting involved in these forums because I need somewhere to complain. I only provided a fairly detailed look into my psychiatric history in hope that some form of mutual benefit will be realized by both the readers of this post and myself. I felt I needed to outline the majority of the primary issues that I have encountered during my ongoing war with mental illness in order to construct a comparable illustration for those who are suffering under similar circumstances. I also revealed these details in attempt to "open the door" for those who might have insightful thoughts or advice for me.

I do not want any pity nor do I desire to dish any out. I simply believe that if I hope to gain anything from interacting with the users of this forum I should be totally honest about what I have been through. If instead, perhaps out of pride or cowardice, I chose against being 100% candid in regard to my past and present circumstances my ability to garner useful input from other forum members would not be the only objective impeded. In fact, I feel that any dishonesty on my part would prove to be much more of a disservice toward those in the AS community that are searching for a forthright testimonial containing problems that are familiar, current, and relatable to issues of their own. Sometimes it helps out a lot if you know that there are others who have gone through similar trials as yourself. I have often found that this type of knowledge helps me feel less alone in my struggle.

What I want from this forum:

I am simply hoping for a tolerant community where the exchange of intelligent ideas and meaningful information can take place. It also wouldn't hurt anything to occasionally have some mindless fun on here either

F.Y.I. What follows is a description of one of the "skills" I have developed over the years that I hope has enough merit and potential to benefit many of the participants in this forum:

I have taken quite literally almost every medication available in a psychiatrist's arsenal. My doctor actually told me (about four medications ago) that I am very near the end of the long list of the psychiatric drugs that are available by prescription. He often refers to me (tongue in cheek) as, quote, "the guy who has taken everything". The drugs I have been on range all the way from your typical SSRI antidepressants to your atypical antipsychotics, and at this point I consider myself an "amateur" pharmacologist with a fairly extensive knowledge base in psychotropic medication. I make this claim not only because I have been on so many medications, but also because I have always, since the very beginning, intensively researched any medication that I happened to be taking...

...So basically, if there are any questions you might have regarding any medication that you are taking (or thinking about taking) feel free to ask away. The chances are pretty high that I will have an educated answer for you; more likely than not I will even have first-hand experience to back it up. I am not a doctor by any means, but information from a peer is sometimes just as helpful as information from a shrink, if not more so. Also, if a thread pops up inquiring about a certain medication I will more than likely have an opinion. I am currently on summer break with absolutely nothing else productive to do, and I consider psychotropics to be a forte of mine, so if you have a question or situation having to do with meds... please let me know! I will be more than happy to help you out in any way that I am able. Even if you have a question that I am unable to answer off hand I promise to do research until I have either found the information you need or all means to obtain said information have been exhausted, whichever comes first. I am very bored and thus I welcome any opportunity to exercise my ever increasingly atrophied brain.

All that being said, I offer my "services" as a means of giving back to the AS and autism community on this website. "Ask not what your country can do for you..."; well, you know the rest.

Anyway, that is my story in a pretty big nutshell, and I am greatly looking forward to take part in the community here.

Best Wishes to All,


Lead_Enema

To WrongPlanet!! !

Howdy! May you never falter in your desire to be a force for good on the forums

I'm also seeking a formal diagnosis as soon as I get back to America. Since I came to this so late, though (I'm 40), it's more so that I can become more involved with activism and to "lock in" this explanation of my life. Besides, like you said, it's good to have it just in case anything is needed in the future, no?

Welcome to Le Planet!

Welcome! Nice to have you here.

Venting one's frustrations...ah....the most nessecary of all evils...beside taxes.

I just say what comes to mind. I'm ultra-blunt. Has it's OWN problems(Read, airborne bricks, angry faces) but at least those are threats that are OUTSIDE your skull. AS can lead to a LAWT of stress, but every single symptom associated with AS can also be viewed as a perk or boon, and should be relished as such: For me, my hypersensitivity makes me REALLY love food, deriving far more joy from it then the people around me, and it, combined with AS's lovely built-in Pattern Recognition system(Yay for giant logic lobe), I know very quickly when something is amiss at the core of my body or soul.

I've got a lot more fun stuff, but my point is: If you see AS as something AWESOME like me, I doubt the frustration is gonna be much more then the daily grind every tax-abiding adult has.....MINUS the "little things" you, and very few others, can enjoy!

I agree. Because of my AS I can experience certain events on a level that most people can't even comprehend. I don't regret having AS at all. Why should I? I still have friends, family, and am able to do most activities just as well, if not better, than "normal" people can. I don't attribute my bouts with depression to AS, but instead to the comorbid conditions that accompany it. Many people with AS don't have comorbid illnesses, but I am not one of them. Either way, I'm much more mentally sound than I used to be. I attribute this mostly to a good combination of meds (stims FTW). Anywho, you'll be hearing no more emo garbage from me. I hate complainers, so God forbid I become one. I said what I needed to say and that's that.

Hello, and welcome greetings to the Wrong Planet neighborhood.