New to this site, new to being a diagnosed Aspie

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ViperaAspis- It's a bit of both, actually. Mainly, I'm a shutterbug [which is why everyone was surprised when I changed my major to graphic design instead of digital photography...go figure]. My junior year of high school is when it came about-such random things happen when two friends with odd interests are stuck in the darkroom together developing film. My love of photography mixed with her love of dinosaurs and such is how it officially came about.

welll, actually my diagnosis isn't that new.
i guess they diagnosed me with it when i was around 7-10. but my parents kept me in the dark about that and let me flounder on through the years with no understanding. though my understanding and finding acceptance of it is new.

though, living with the pain and loneliness of this disorder has forged from me a very loyal, extremely open-minded, philosophical, understanding, nonjudgmental person even if a constantly depressed one.

I wish my father had done that, at the very least. Instead, he's been a...well, an arse about it.
=/
He's of the frame of mind in which it's perfectly okay for other people's children to be Aspie or Autistic, but not his own. "Not one of my daughters has anything wrong with them!! !"
I agree.
Nothing's wrong with me-I just operate differently. Unfortunately, he doesn't see it like that.
Thankfully, though, I have a great mother who shares my happiness about finally having a diagnosis.
Now, to work on my sister's issues......



I'm pretty sure I can credit my personality and such to the fact that I am and Aspie. There's not anything else that comes to mind to credit it to, at least.
I'm working on my bouts of "depression", as most are wont to call it. I've noticed that working with the kids at the clinic I'm employed at help more than anything ever has. Granted, I still have meltdowns when I hit sensory overload, and I've yet to find individual triggers [seeing as I'm only about 3 months diagnosed....it's all still kind of new to me], but they aren't nearly as bad as they were five months ago, a year ago....five years ago.

yeah, actually my dad is sorta like your dad then. not really in the being an arse about it, but he seems to be in denial about it a little. downplaying it and treating it like it's something you can just easily fix by willing it hard enough. not that simple. ironically i think i got the aspie traits from him. it's beyond a doubt hereditary seeing as my sister seems to have it too. i think he just doesn't recognize it so much in himself though and rationalizes it through various ways such as his bad hearing for example. which might be used to rationalize to himself his poor memory for some things for example or on his communication issues, spaceyness. though he seems a bit more functional than me, but undeniably a bit off nonetheless.
he also has meltdowns sometimes. i'm tempted to tell him to go get himself diagnosed. i wonder what his reaction would be haha.

but actually, i'd've prolly rather heard about my diagnosis earlier in life. know what to expect and that kind of thing. have some kind of idea of what i'm dealing with. maybe it would've prepared me more and given me more time to work on and come up with coping techniques and such instead of just wondering why my life seemed to suck hardcore over the years.

but then, i guess i would be different today for that. and having dealt with all that emotional pain has forged in me open-mindedness, tolerance, compassion, sympathy, fairness, loyalty. all desirable traits i guess. but nothing of the superficial nature which generally attracts the people of the world who have no tendencies to go out of their way and discover that about me.

then again, all the frustration has bottled up over the years and i have alot of inner anger too. frustration, and depression. i just don't really outwardly show it because it's my cross to bear, my business, and i feel really uncomfortable being emotional around other people.

i could go on forever. asperger's it seems, has countless affects on our daily lives. it's hard to explain them all and to what extent it pervades or lives and it's far reaching implications to NTs and such and so it is difficult to get most people to comprehend how bad it is. sometimes i think i'd rather be schizophrenic. people seem to grasp the obvious downside to that. it's understandable because it's drastic and obvious not normal or good, drastically different so to say and receives alot more sympathy. at least if i heard voices in my head, it'd be only that. if the rest of me was normal for all intents and purposes it seems like it'd be a good trade-off.

i wonder what my IQ is...people tell me i'm very intellectual, and i've been curious for a time as to how much. sorry for rambling lol

I can share your irony.
My father very obviously has it....as did his father.
Go figure.

I honestly enjoy being Aspie. That probably sounds odd, but it's the truth. I fully understand the inner anger and frustration-I hate not always being able to articulate and get out things I need to. Especially since no one seems to understand that when I say "I don't know", or "I can't express/articulate it", merely because I'm highly intelligent. They look at me like I've grown two more heads or something when I say things like that because I am very articulate and expressive, be it through music, art or actual talking, when it comes to pretty much anything--except emotions and [as one of the kids I work with would say] "how my engine is running".
Sometimes I just...really really really have to fight the urge to beat them upside the head while constantly repeating-and enunciating each word-"I. Can. Not. Express. It!"
Perhaps you understand....then again, perhaps you've begun to question my sanity now.


Hmm....I, too, wonder about my IQ.
That was another pf those things my father never allowed...I never got the chance to have an IQ test when it was brought up and suggested.
Maybe I'll look into it now.....

No worries about rambling on...I do the same thing.

nahh, i understand that pretty well.

and there are certainly some aspects of being an Aspie that i enjoy too. but also some parts that i will never enjoy. At this point though, being able to change would prolly be a shock to my system. it's an integral part of my personality, all that i know how to be. and despite the downsides, i doubt i could be completely comfortable being normal if i had the power to do so. it would be an alien feeling. but then again, idk, i've never really had the chance to test it. maybe i'm wrong.

i've taken online IQ tests and such. idk how accurate those are but most of my scores tended to average 125-130 more or less. which i guess is relatively high, not genius level, but high *shrug*

Hahahaha...those things can't be TOO accurate....I scored around 170.
>.<
I'm too distractable to be that intelligent. Lol.

Well said. i was 32 when i was diagnosed. i go through cycles of relief and frustration, but the first "ah ha" was a good moment for me. i would be lying if i said i understood teenage girls even when i was a teenage boy. can't help you there

i just wanted to say many others were diagnosed as adults and understand your situation. in many ways, i think it is better this way. while i at times wish i knew sooner, learning at an age you understand what it means to be different has advantages as well.

which is why we should take real ones =D
'cause some of the questions on there were ridiculous; the answers open to debate and answerable a couple possible ways depending on variables that weren't given, and so leaving some uncertainty. however, the detecting patterns questions were extremely easy.

lol, i just took another online one right now and my score jumped up to 137. totally unreliable.

Agreed.
lol
Maybe those tests were meant for NT's......
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...