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daizy
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21 Jun 2006, 6:43 pm

I started reading here a few days ago. Its amazing to me to find so many of my life-long issues addressed. i am 35, with un-diagnosed aspergers syndrome. A few years ago I began to read up A.S. & It made so much of the good & bad about my life - clear. I finally understood "I am not insane or mentally handicapped."

I am in a horribly perilous situation in my life - about to be evicted due to financial disaster/misunderstanding, & health problems which i have kept to myself mostly, because no one likes to hear about others misery. My life had been endurable, with almost no disasters, since i had a child, but I have no advocates in my life, it seems - no doctor, no family who can help - my childs father is a good father but he is tired of hearing about my health problems, which are not few. I have lost my electricity (i forgot to pay the bill, which is something i have done before), and have almost no money left. I cant seem to make myself clear: I have talked to friends & the people at a.a.n.e (aspergers association of new england) but I feel as if I am not getting any information across. For instance, i told a woman on the phone that i am being evicted, and i need to talk to someone about the proccess. She was just leaving for her summer vacation, and she was clearly unhappy to have to deal with a problem - she gave me the number for a doctor who, she said, can help me be officially diagnosed. But i have only a few days left before my court date, and w hat i needed was to talk to someone about eviction proceeding, someone who will understand all the recent errors i have made in my life.

It is so frightening. I am not sure what to do now. Suicide seems slightly logical, but i like it here, in this world. I am grateful that i can keep in mind how much such a violent act would disturb my downstairs neighbors! & yet at this time I can see no way out. Medication had helped. I had a job that I really enjoyed for 2 years, but i quit to have surgery 3 months ago, and I stopped taking some medication, and everything snowballed. It is all so negative. I hate to dump all this here, but I dont know what to do. Writing it down & knowing it might be noticed does help a little. I have a court date on monday & i am truly afraid of facing sunday night. I know that i cant go to court to face my poor landlady, I will say nothing sensible, if I can even walk inside the building.



klassobanieras
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21 Jun 2006, 7:27 pm

Hello daizy,

Nice to meet you, and I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time.

What things do you need to deal with to dig yourself out of this hole? Does your financial situation have any chance of improving any time soon? Do you have anywhere to go if you do get evicted?
Is it the practical stuff that you're struggling to deal with, or the stress of the situation?

As for suicide, I'm glad to hear you're not all the way there yet. The worst hasn't happened yet. It might not happen at all. If it does happen you might find it's not as bad as you imagined. And even if it is as bad as you imagine, you might find out that you can deal with it better than you think. So hang in there.


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anandamide
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21 Jun 2006, 8:07 pm

I suggest that you go to the family doctor or whoever is your physician and get a note to say that you are having a stress reaction/anxiety disorder/ depression whatever so that you can submit that during the court proceedings on monday. It won't be a full diagnosis of AS but would at least be a note to say that something medically significant is going on that has caused you to end up in the circumstances that you are now in.



lae
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22 Jun 2006, 12:16 am

Welcome Daizy. Please hang in there and stick around, there are people who understand here.



TheMachine1
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22 Jun 2006, 2:17 am

Could you goto college?
1)grants, student loans
2)housing
3)job training



ethamin
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22 Jun 2006, 5:16 am

Welcome daizy, diagnozed or not diagnozed you are an Aspie to me.



blackduck
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01 Aug 2006, 12:15 am

Hi Daizy

Only saw this now, and see you're on line so you must have got thru Monday.

Hope it went well.

Hang in there


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larsenjw92286
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01 Aug 2006, 7:32 am

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!


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