Well, Thought I would join...

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So here I am. I checked out every book I could find in the library system here and read most of them. Some are too young for me, but they had a few things in it that were interesting.

However, the issue I have with this is that it in alot of ways seems subjective to me. Like anyone could have it if they warp their thinking just the right way and hide behind it, much like bible thumpers (sorry, it's true, hence why I said it)

My family came to me about it and said I may have it. They looked at alot of stuff online (probably even this site) and came to me out of the blue on it.

In some ways, it seems to fit like a glove, they explained to me how I possibly have it (obsessions with stuff, didn't learn to tie shoes until I was about 16, took a while to ride a bike) stuff like that.

way before I knew that I (possibly) have this, I ran into some people with it (supposedly) and god did they piss me off. I got the impression it was more a weapon/shield, much like a bible (sorry, again with that) and if you dare speak against, why you are a nut!

"so I cussed at you, forgive me, i've got aspergers!" "so I obsess over something, aspergers!" "so I over ride you, aspergers!"

These might be weak examples, since some of them (ie over riding) got mentioned as some issues with people who have this. But it felt like every thing was a aspergers justification, from murder to the stock market crashing to everything else.

if I do have this, how am I fully sure? I would be interested in seeking a professional diagnosis whenever this wretched economy springs back in 250 centuries, but I want a quality diagnosis. With the huge amount of flakes out there, mainly doctors but also people like the above example I find it difficult to accept it as serious.

It's not like it's cancer, where there are tests for it that provide physical proof of it. Seems like aspergers,depression,bipolar, etc are all pretty much subjective to the whims of the doctor/quack of the month and whatever survey they use.

Pill pushers get on my nerves, I would walk asap from a doctor that imposes those on me, did the Zoloft route and never again.

How do you guys deal with this? it feels so frustrating. There doesn't appear to be anything concrete out there for it!

It puts me into a state of confusion also, as I'm not sure if I want it basically as a example of behavior justification (see above) I understand it can help heal wounds caused in the past, but I feel so tormented by it. like if I get a mental mindset "well I acted the way I did because of aspergers" it feels like a justification (as above)

That grates on me, as I want to be responsible for my behavior, but how do I tell where it is the condition or something i've actually done? Running into people that are pretty hurtful and just plain bonkers while hiding behind it as behavioral justification becomes difficult to deal with.

It's like the principal who tried telling me "oh you've got issues, omg! get on ADD/ADHD meds!" if she said that to me today (Was in the 5th grade when I got told that), I would kick her 50 year old boney white butt over the nearest fence.

I felt relief at my family telling me I may have it, but it was replaced with confusion. I guess you could say it's a self diagnosis, but I want to make sure it's a correct diagnosis, not a excuse for wretched behavior.

Any tips from the pros? More importantly, what causes it? Some say vaccines (which might be true, I tend to think so) but I don't know.

I find it hard to swallow that I just got born with this. I can somewhat function in jobs (although I tend to exhibit issues with the sometimes when I deal with people who I consider mentally bankrupt, i'm sure you know the types) so i'm not a total cripple, but at the same time I wonder where it came from.

Vaccine? good likelyhood, supposedly a vaccine going around in the 1980's I got was in the media about possibly causing autism. I got it, my brothers didn't.

That seems like the likely answer to me, but since some (like a book I saw on the front page, suspicious if he is a big pharma shill) think it is all made up as a justification for no vaccines, that leaves me with what is the answer?

It's like there is no concrete answer for it. Malformed arm? it's physical and you can see it, and it's obvious why you can't drive a car/work with tools at that point. Weak bladder? obvious, you wet yourself and it's there. Probably easy to figure out via surgery or other methods.

But depression? aspergers? bipolar? how do you figure these out? short of analyzing everyones brain after they die (ie the neurotypicals as mentioned in books i've seen and on here and then the diagnosed folks) there is no way to do it.

I'm not trying to ridicule any of you at all, by no means. If you are self diagnosed, I want to hear how you came to that conclusion. professionally diagnosed? same. Did you feel it was a quality diagnosis, or pretty much a version of them or you (or both) telling each other what they want to hear so as to get a justification for behavior? ("oh god, my back hurts so bad! gimme vicodin doc!" "sure, let me test your back here" *jabs you there* "does that hurt?" "omg yes!" *cuts prescription*)

my apologies if I seem offensive and harsh here. it's a source of torment for me on this, and I want to get it cleared up and some facts put into place rather then just dragging myself around depressed about it, or latching onto it as the cure all for how I feel when it may not be the truth!

Welcome to WP!

Since so many books are written that address the needs of children, you might find these "new,"currently published books more helpful...

"Hitchhiking Through Asperger's Syndrome" by author Lise Pyles and a forward by Dr. Tony Attwood, Ph.D

"Our Journey Through High Funtioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome" by author Linda Andron and forwards by Dr. Tony Attwood, Ph.D and Liane Holliday Willey

Nice meeting you!

I am responding to you as the mom of an aspie (diagnosed) and a self diagnosed aspie myself. For me, it all started with my daughter who was in kindergarten at the time. She had some very odd behaviors since birth...didn't like being swaddled, wasn't comforted by being held, sensitive to sensory stimulation, odd repetitive behaviors by 9 months. We didn't know what it was. Doctors when she was 3 diagnosed ADHD, but said she displayed some autistic behaviors and we should have her tested again in a couple of years. By kindergarten, it was the stimming that made it unmistakable. Loud noises drove her into a corner, covering her ears, crying, and rocking.

For her, we got the diagnosis to help her get the proper support at school. I've heard a lot of parents saying they don't want their children "labeled" but the way I look at it, she's going to be labeled either way...and I'd rather get her labeled with a disability and get the extra help than have her labeled as a behavior problem. A few small changes made a huge difference for her. She had some accomodations, like a weighted lap pad, ear plugs for noisy situations, and a chewy necklace to stim with. And some therapy like a social skills group and OT for fine motor skills. My goal is not to let her escape her behavior but rather to take the opportunity to learn how to cope with her weaknesses so she doesn't have to struggle as an adult.

Now for myself....as I was reading everything I could in an attempt to help her, it occurred to me that it didn't just mysteriously appear. (I personally have come to the conclusion that the disorder has a genetic heredity underneath, but that it is triggered by something external...sometimes vaccines, sometimes other things...in my daughter's case a traumatic labor and delivery that included repeated losses of oxygen. Incidentally, my labor and delivery was pretty identical to hers)

Out of curiousity I took the Aspie Quiz online. http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php I came out with almost all of my answers on the aspie side. As an adult, I don't feel a need to get officially diagnosed since it's a little late for the intervention that we are doing for my daughter. What it has done for me as an adult is give me the reassurance that it's ok to be who I am and that some things are just beyond my control. The biggest thing for me has been this: I was always a social reject despite desperate attempts to fit in. Once I got through high school, college, and grad school, I went into a career in finance...but the part of finance where I had constant contact with clients, had extensive responsibilities for hosting huge client events, etc. I had always taken on side projects that allowed me to hide in a cubicle and analyze data. But I kept doing what I was doing because I was still stuck in that old "I want people to like me" feeling underneath. I got laid off in April, and this has been when I've had time to get all this studying done. I am now looking for analyst positions because I feel it's ok now that I don't quite fit in. There's nothing wrong with being the smartest person in the department...memorizing endless facts and theories...being the go-to person that everyone looks for when they're stumped...but not the person that everyone wants to have lunch with! It has increased my own self acceptance.

Do I use it as an excuse? No. I have never uttered the words "it's not me it's Asperger's!" I have learned to cope with this on my own and have figured out how to function just fine without finding an excuse. I firmly believe that I am an adult and I am responsible for my behavior. NT people have disadvantages compared to me...for example, they can't memorize everything they hear. All the poor NTs in college had to buy books and study. I didn't. And yet I got better grades than most of them. Does that mean that they should be given easier tests? Of course not! I have to work harder than others in some areas, and they have to work harder than I do in some areas. I guess the "label" has really caused me to think about tolerance...tolerance for my own weak areas, and also tolerance for others. It has caused me to think "what can I do to help this person understand this topic that confuses them?" instead of "I have no time for stupidity. I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you!"

For a child that is diagnosed, I think it is a different story. With my daughter I have the opportunity to help her and train her early so she can learn to compensate early on in life and learn the things I've had to do the hard way! For me as an adult, it's just a way for me to accept who I am.

I hear ya!

It can be a nasty thing to have on your record. Some of the implications aren't very nice, looking from a 'normal' person's point of view, that is.

Sometimes I think the doctor who diagnosed me was trying to help my parents out a little bit, give them answers. I was recently diagnosed with CAPD with subtype of Auditory Decoding Deficit which makes it even harder to know who I am. What that means is I have trouble interpreting degraded speech or speech in background noise. This was because I had ear infections when I was younger and had nothing to do with AS. Although parts of AS sound like the 'prosodic deficit' subtype of CAPD.

There are also different levels of AS. Don't let anyone tell you differently! I feel like a half-aspie half-normal sometimes. The guy that gave me the diagnosis said I was 'mild'. Some things on the list I KNOW I never had trouble with (sensory, non-verbals) and you may be the same. Especially if the diagnosis came as a big surprise to you.

As for where the condition ends and you begin... I've been having identity issues myself lately so you're not alone! I'd go see a psychologist about it. I've been talking to one recently who had some ideas about finding out if I really had it or still had it or whatever. They're familiar with other people that have it and there are tests you can do to find out if you have it or how debilitating it will be. Then you can start working out how much it affects you and how much you affect you.

I think experts are pretty sure genetics cause it. My dad and brother have similar personalities to me and I always thought of my mother as a bit odd. There's many stories of people with AS having kids also afflicted with it!

Anyways talk to a psychologist about it. They can give you a better idea. Hope it helps!

First... welcome here. I hope you find this site beneficial and enjoyable.

There is a topic on this forum... You might be an aspie (ymbaa)... Here's an out of place one; ymbaa if someone suggests aspergers and you go an find every bit of information out the topic you can, making yourself more knowledgeable on the topic than all of the professionals you will encounter in the next year. (Sorry if I am stealing a ymbaa that someone else already said... I never have made it through all of those. Look at me being a bad aspie. Heh heh heh.)

But the reality of it is, as you know, there are criteria you need to meet... not all them, some of them. It does make it difficult to diagnose. You are right... it is not like cancer. I wish there was some way they could draw some blood or scrape some cells and hand you something concrete. Lots of people adhere to specific routines... lots of people fail to adopt peer relationships appropriate to developmental level. Does it make you an aspie?

I would recommend seeking out a competent professional. If money is an issue, perhaps you could see if there is a local autism chapter in your area that could help. Local mental health professionals could be beneficial if no autism folks are around. I am always a it hesitant with them though... I share you views on the pill pushers and have run into many of them with local mental health people... though they might be wonderful in your area... they just are not wonderful where I am.

I had a professional diagnose me. She is well aware of autism and I am thankful for her. I trust her. I respect her. I am glad I found her. I have never said that of a professional before and I have dealt with many of them. I knew I had it when I read up on it. It fit. It made sense. I felt relieved, overwhelmed, able to breathe, at home... a million things that left me stunned for awhile. You'll see people here talk about the 'aha' moment... about the amazement of the 'it's not just me' thing. I am not personally frustrated by not having a concrete thing with my diagnosis. I know I have it. It's the only thing that really made sense to me in 32 years. I just find myself wishing for something more in regards to other people who tell me I look fine, I must not be autistic.

Autism is a thing you are born with. I found that an odd thing initially and spent a good chunk of time reevaluating things I did as a child... not an easy task as I do not recall large amounts of my childhood. But my symptoms, if you will, have slowly gotten more obvious as I got older... But the truth is, I was an autistic child who just went undiagnosed. There are a lot of us out there.

I am sorry the people you ran into seemed to use aspergers as a justification to misbehave. The only person I can speak for is me, so I draw on my own experience... I know that my particular issues can make me a royal pain in the butt some times, but as I progress in this journey, knowing I have aspergers has helped me. Now I have a better understanding of, for example, what things set me off, why they set me off, how I can avoid being set off due to these things, and helping others understand where I am coming from and how to help if I screw up and end up setting off anyhow. I have more sense of personal accountability now and have something to work off of to better myself in my own world. I have direction now. I am better off for it.

I do not know if this helps, or even if I have managed to answer your questions in a correct way... sorry... communication is not my strong suit. To try to sum it up... How do you know for sure? I think you just know it. How do I deal? On a daily basis. How to tell if it is just something you have done or part of the condition? A lot of self inspection and personal accountability. What causes it? You are born with it... don't ask me beyond that. I'm no scientist or doctor and I avoid topics like that. Heh. How do you figure out things like bipolar and whatnot? Competent professionals, input from friends and family, tons of information and the task of realistically looking at yourself how you think, feel, react, process and so on.

Again, welcome here. Enjoy your time here, enjoy getting to look at how others think and see the world. This really is a great site full of knowledgeable and helpful people. Personally, I am glad to have found it. I hope it can help you like it has helped many others.

Welcome aboard the Wrong Planet, mohavewolfpup.

To WrongPlanet!! !