Hi DarthKira!
DarthKira wrote:
I can understand what you mean Lelia. It's heart warming seeing a smile on her face though. She spends a lot of time crying. When caring for one, I suppose you have the want for them to be joyful in their lives. - I don't have the compulsive need to make her happy. Of course, I do things to make her in a happier state, but it's almost entirely out of caring appreciation and love. Her being ''Happy'' is somewhat out of reach and I don't believe it could be obtained in her situation at the moment. - I make reference to being there when she cries, hugging her when she feels alone, making her feel appreciated, giving her some attention, etc. - Maybe I just misphrased it. - I accept her, whatever her mood may be. - I don't have an expectation that my actions will change her mood. I simply do them because I care for her. - I believe that is what's important.
Immediately my heart goes out to that girl of yours. Just keep doing what your doing for her. I'm exactly the same when it comes to someone i love.
As to the earlier part of your post:
I too make random noises. Many people would tell me to grow up. I dont listen to them. I see children acting like children at a grocery store. Talking in a kiddy voice. I think, Now that's sweet! Then the parent yells at them for acting like a baby. I immediately dislike those kind of parents.
Nothing wrong with it at all. I start making up silly ditties now or rhymes or sing weird songs that dont make any sense. It's relaxing for me. My father even joins in when he's there. That helps!
I wouldn't worry or feel ashamed about the whole noisemaking if i were you. If it entertains you and/or helps to make things less tense, Go with it!
I was and still am rather hyperactive. It's settled down somewhat now. But i can still get a bit bouncy!
I too feel like i have the "Avoid me" Aura.
Many more of the things you've stated i have felt and gone through. Except i have a really high sex-drive and i was severely bullied in a very major way through school.
Being this stressed and anxious through your studies and tests i can understand. I have been the same.
Dont be afraid to ask for help at college. Talk to your teachers and tell them that the atmosphere of it get's to you. See if you cant take the tests more privately. They may refuse but it doesnt hurt to ask!
By the way, i have been diagnosed with Aspergers. It was only a little over a year ago. I don't know if you have it. I wouldn't want to presume that you do. I'd suggest talking to a professional. Research with them Autism (Including Asperger's) and what it might mean for you.
Best of luck,
_________________
In The Shadows i stand. Unseen, unheard!
A clever Fox i am, but the world thinks I'm absurd!