new to aspergers. in trouble, need help!

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A couple months ago a professional counselor told me i have asperger's syndrome. I don't know if he made an official diagnosis. But my life has been going down hill, and even when I try to explain some things about why i am like i am (figured some things out before even knowing about aspergers) 'friends', family, co-workers act like i'm making excuses, or a 'spoiled brat', basically brushing off any kind of understanding of where i am. I don't even do a good job of explaining it.

the counselor explained to me why i have a hard time socially is because i have to learn responses for every single individual social situation. Basically there is no intuition, and a lot of literal-mindedness. This sounds right because i know how to react in certain situations, but in the last several years (maybe more without me realizing it!) find people saying and doing things that would elicit a certain response normally, to mean the opposite. i.e., where i have learned what sarcasm is, they will say something that they are serious about, and the opposite. But it has gone to extremes, and I feel severely abused. By family, friends, co-workers. The toughest to handle though is my Pastor and other 'christians' I know who I have trusted without question. This is all a downward spiral, that is the more they ridicule, the worse i get (and the part I don't understand) the worse I get the more they ridicule. Somtimes I feel like a dog that's been hit and left on the side of the road. When someone stops I think help might be here, but they just kick me.

It takes me so long to change track in many situations where everyone else does it instantaneously. Or I think of a comment or relpy hours later.

I'm not sure this counselor even takes it seriously, and there are some other things I suspect about him and the whole situation that are down right frightening.

does any of this make any sense or am I just nutso?

Welcome to WP!

hey buddy, this is my first post here. i am 21, and just discovered i am an aspie. i heard them talking about it on NPR and before then I didnt know what it even was. I am undiagnosed but I have it and it wont be long before I am..

but I can seriously relate. my family, work thinks i am making excuses. they think i dont communicate well because either i dont care or i am lazy. i dont know how to explain it and without a real diagnosis i feel like i am groping in the dark. i have been dealing with these issues my whole life, and devoted so much time to try and understand social interactions, and it still is not making me normal!

anyways i feel you brother.. i just discovered this syndrom a few days ago and it chagned my life... in a good way.. i'm so glad there are other people in this world who have experienced what i have been

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

What you wrote makes perfect sense to me. I can relate to most of what you said especially the part about the dog left on the side of the road. I pretty much feel like this myself, because my "friends" whom I trusted turned my back on me when I needed them most. I am very sorry you feel this way. I wish I could help or say something comforting.

Hello ranger97, welcome,

Sorry to hear your life isn't going well. I wish I could help you.

I'm like that too.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet and find support you need here.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Yes and yes .

From what I've read, depression from the isolation is common. I'm 55 and just a few months ago, my father finally revealed to me that he "never really liked me". Mother-fucking-A, that went down hard.

The general public just doesn't care, they just find that you're different and try to push you aside. Well, after a lifetime I can tell that I'm in one of those social situations and (usually) how to react, but I really still don't get it.

Still, I've learned to hide it 70% of the time. If you find a way to train yourself while you're young, you should be able to hide more, sooner. Pitiful statement, but there it is.

Jay

BTW, do you like to repeat some things a lot? That is an autistic trait.

Thanks everyone for the comments. It helps to know some other people understand what i'm even talking about. Well Jayk i do find myself wanting to repeat the same thing sometimes. But I have helped myself unlearn that. Here's another thought along that line, though. I like certain kinds of music. But when I find a song I like, I will play it over, and over. I know I've sat and listened to the same thing maybe ten times in a row, week in and out. Or I can just sit in one place with one thought for quite a long time and not pay attention to anything else. I'd like to think I'm some kind of meditative guru but not quite sure that's it! I am so sorry that anyone would have to hear something like what you have. What happens with me is, people have opions, but they never tell me, except in a roundabout way, like they'll talk about someone else, when they're really talking about me. That is depressing and wears ya out.

Kazuiman, thanks for the comment. Do you find that you would be able to work better and feel better if people would be very specific about what they want, up front and NOT use sarcasm especially when they are talking about something that is important to them about how you act or what you do? Do you find yourself wanting to ask questions of other people for clarification of their comments and requests just so you can understand where the hell they are coming from, even when to them its so simple? Listen, if you don't find a counselor that can relate to you, don't stop until you do! And stay on here, I'm hoping this will be a good place for support. Collegegeek, thank you and I think it's great there is a site like this. Just having words of understanding from others is a great help.