Hi! I'm a NT mom of a possibly AS child. We are going to see a Psychologist to confirm. I'm here because I am desperate for answers. I have been wondering what we did wrong as parents to make our daughter not want to hug us, but this website has given me hope. Perhaps she doesn't hate us...perhaps she just doesn't know how to show affection and express her feelings. I wish her pediatricians would have thought of this possibility before! They are all the same....when I describe the issues she has, they suspect that she was abused in her past and ask her all kinds of questions. When they rule out abuse, they say, "Oh, it's not unusual for kids to go through that phase...she'll probably grow out of it". Well, these symptoms started showing up at about age 5 and have only gotten more and more extreme.
My daughter is 9 and hates affection...hugs, kisses, cuddles, putting your arm around her, etc. She can react with anger or indifference when we try to hug or kiss her...we just never know. She won't say "I love you", and will barely mumble it back to us if we tell her first and prompt her to say it back. She doesn't do apologies very well at all....if she does say she's sorry, she never sounds like she really means it. On top of that, she mutilates her hands and feet....biting the nails and skin around them until they bleed. She has a habit of what I call "snuffing" that she does constantly, especially when she is nervous. It's like she is drawing up a hocker...a really awful sound. She is so shy about her body that she won't even change in front of me or her friends...she won't even let me in the room if she has a towel or underwear on. She gets extremely upset if someone accidentally walks in on her...I mean tears for a long time. Though she seems to hate physical affection, she can be quite physical with her brothers and sister...often grabbing them hard from behind and lifting them up....sometimes she can get pretty rough, but she doesn't know it. When she gets excited she will smack us on the arm...not to hurt, but as some strange way of showing affection I think.
Other than those things, she is quite a "normal" little girl. She is very bright. (I homeschool her). She loves to read and write, and even likes sports. She has friends whom she gets along with fine. She can hold a conversation, but usually doesn't like to talk unless it's something she wants to talk about. She sometimes walks away from me when I'm in the middle of talking to her or trying to teach her something. Or she will hide her face in her hair so she doesn't have to look at me.
I'm wondering if any of this sounds familiar to anyone.......??? Am I on the right track here? I appreciate any input you can give me. Thanks!
15 Jun 2010, 11:45 pm
