Parent of aspie child, new to group

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Hello everyone, my name is Katt. I have a 6 yr old daughter recently dx'd with aspergers. I am so glad I found this site. I want to be the best parent I can to my girl.

katt

Hello Katt and welcome,

Your daughter is lucky to have you and you may be in for a wild ride. She will probably be unwanted a lot and experience many betrayals. She will try to understand why this is happening, but she will not be able to. Make sure she understands that you will never be one of the people that betray her. It is pointless to say this in words. She will notice that you never do.

Guide her to learn on her own to recognize and avoid bad friends. She is not able to perceive the social behavior cues others find obvious, so teach her to watch for warnings in other peoples actions toward her. Encourage her to find loyal friends she enjoys being with. These may not always be the stereotyped ideal of good kids, but they will also reveal the nature of their friendship by their actions toward her.

Expect some sadness, and expect to be amazed.

Accept her and allow her to have any obsessions that she developes along the way.

Remember to take care of yourself, too.

Hello - I have a five and a half year old son. Hope you enjoy the ride!

Beginning now, she may develop an interest in penguin biology, or the history of steam engines, or chinese architecture. Long before she has finished elementary school, it is likely that she will be able to intelligently discuss these topics with a college professor. Her teachers may say that she is lazy and she needs to put more effort into learning.

This is normal.

Thanks for the welcome and the advice, that is what I am here for.
I am already amazed by my daughter, she has taught me so much already.

Actually what I am here for is to learn from older people who have aspergers, I want to know what worked and what didn't. I want to know what you hated and what you loved about growing up with aspergers.

I don't want to change my daughter in anyway. She can have her obsessions and for the most part I will encourage her. She already has some anyway, stuffed animals, and I buy them all the time!

Oh and birthing babies, oh my!

Also I am home schooling her.

So again thanks I will be spending time here reading everything.

Katt

I really, REALLY wish I had more to say apart from welcome aboard, but I honestly don't. I recently joined for the same reasons you did, but because I'm 16 some reasons may be illogical (for example, I don't have a kid).

Garage sales and used bookstores are a good and cheap way to survey for things that might catch her attention. There's no telling what she might be interested in. On a whim, I picked up a college textbook on microbiology for my daughter when she was in kindergarten. It cost a quarter. She was fascinated by the electron microscope pictures and constantly asking, "What's this," wanting to know about viruses and bacteria and such. She forgot the name, though, and called it "nanobiology." I never figured out how she knew the prefix "nano" means "very small."

The experts don't seem to have noticed, but a lot of us also get involved with art, music, and literature. Let her try stuff, and when she's interested, it will be obvious. My mom used to read us poetry. My brother's interest was normal, i.e. zero, but for me, it turned into a lifelong addiction.

A lot of aspies don't do well in subjects that don't interest us. Home schooling might give you the opportunity to approach these other subjects as they apply to her special interests.

I think the first thing to say is that she is fortunate to be diagnosed young. I was only diagnosed this year at the age of 45. Not understanding why some things seem so much more difficult than for other people (e.g. developing social relationships, empathy, ...) can lead to low self esteem, depression and abuse of alcohol. Well that was my experience. With a diagnose comes the potential to understand what it means to have AS, and hence what support is out there that might help to cope better with any particular difficulties you may experience.

Even though I didn't know I had AS for 45 years, I can look back now with greater knowledge and self awareness on the things I did that did help me, and the things that did not.

Things that did not work

- Acting a false role to try to fit in with my NT peers (in my case acting the fool)
- Isolating myself from social interaction
- Developing obsessions that were damaging to my self esteem
- Self medication (e.g. abuse of alcohol)

Things that did work

- Developing my strengths (in my case mathematics and physics) and using these to find a suitable job that requires using this knowledge and logical thinking skills. This helped me to lead an independent life
- Learning how to function better in an NT world by reflecting on situations that did not go so well and changing behaviour, and not being afraid to ask others for feedback

The thing I hate most about having AS is not being able to experience NT love, because of poor empathy and understanding of emotions in self and others. I also do not like the daily high levels of fear, anxiety and stress that come from 'faking it' in an NT world, and my perfectionism

The things I love about my AS are my ability to concentrate on something for hours, and the enjoyment I get from acquiring new knowledge

I think the help that would have made most difference to me, if I'd known about my AS as a child, would be the ability to practice and develop communication and social skills in a supportive environment (e.g. through role play). This is something that you could do with your daughter, now you know.

I wish you and your daughter all the best.

Steve

Hi and welcome to WP

Hello!
I just found this site and I am very happy to find a wealth of information.
I am the mother of a 10 yr old boy DX w/AS at the end of 2nd grade. He is now in 5th grade and middle school is getting off to a rocky start.
I am wanting to find out what I can do to help him with little problems he is having i.e. his locker is between two girls and they continually block his locker and make him late for class; being bullied for money at lunch, organization skills are lacking even though he meets with a resource teacher daily, the list goes on and on.....
I would love to correspond with other AS parents to find out what types of issues are a challenge for you. I work 3rd shift and my husband works 1st, so that right off is a challenge.
We have two other children ages 13 and 8.
Thanks!
Timi

Welcome! I have a 10 yr old son who was dx recently too.

Welcome to WP

Welcome to WP kate5220. and itsmetimi.