New member seeking help

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I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to look for a clinical psychologist to help me with the issues related to Aspergers. I’ve seen many therapists over the past 30 years and after the last one, about 4 years ago I thought I would not bother to do this again. But it was only in Dec. 2010 that I learned I have Aspergers after watching some YouTube videos and doing an online quiz, and then everything seemed to make sense. It’s a sad commentary on our ‘medical’ system that after all the therapists, doctors and other health-care professionals I saw – none of them ever mentioned the word Aspergers.

As all Aspies now, it’s not easy to hold down a job in a society where the most important thing is social interaction with co-workers. So now I have to take time off my job to see a specialist, and I have to lie to the people at work about what I’m doing because if anyone found out I have Aspergers I would lose my job (people are narrow-minded and highly reactive about anything they don’t understand), and it’s going to cost me a lot of money. I’m wondering if it’s worth it? Is it possible to maybe develop contacts through the Internet on sites like this one and get the help I need? I’m just really frustrated with everything, and I’ve seen so many therapists in my life and I have learned so much about psychology. Most of these people know less about psychology than I do and I find I can shut them down in a matter of minutes because they are nothing more than glorified sales people following a script, and I can see right through that s**t. A person with Aspergers can never enter into a career in the social sciences, so I know the people I would be seeing really have no understanding of what it’s like to be me. There’s the huge void between people who are Aspies and NTs that I find really patronizing. And I see the same thing in my everyday life with people I work with or interact with on a somewhat social basis like at the gym. As soon as someone notices that I’m not like everyone else, there is this immediate assumption that I am “defective” or “ inferior” or both, and I am immediately treated according to this narrow assumption. Nobody wants to have anything to do with me, including therapists – but they do it because that’s how they make their living. I know I will never be with a woman and find the love I crave, and it’s been almost 10 years since my separation. The world is a f**ked-up place and I’ve been thinking a lot about ending it. For the past 5 years I’ve been trying to start a business of making electric guitars, and things are coming along well. I won some awards for my guitars a few months ago and I’ve had a very favourable response from a lot of people, but there doesn’t seem to be a market for them and I have not yet sold a single one. So I’ve been thinking a lot about getting rid of all my stuff and making piece with my kids. I’m not sure if I could actually do it, but I think about it every day. If there is anyone out there reading this that can offer any advice I would like to hear it.

Wolf

Welcome!

Hello, Wolf - and welcome greetings to the Wrong Planet forums.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

why can't an aspie enter into the social sciences? I didn't know that. I'm getting a minor in special needs education, so I don't know if it ties in. Is it a law?

Sorry you are feeling so down. I don't know how your relationship with your kids is, but making peace with them (if they're receptive) sounds good to me.

I'm wanting to get into selling my art, so I kind of understand about your dealing with selling your electric guitars. I guess I'm now trying to see it as a very involved hobby- this makes it not as intense for me, I suppose, I don't feel like my life pivots on whether or not I sell my art. I don't know if any of this helped or whatnot. I personally am mixed about receiving advice, coming from a family where each one believes they know the actual way I should be living my life, raising my kids, etc... I've tried living their ways, and generally found it more harmful than good. I mean getting opinions and ideas can be good, but no one really knows what another person has been through or is going through. But that's probably a thing an NT would be able to handle, right? They don't literally take on whatever someone suggested... anyway, please take care of yourself.

Sorry you are feeling really frustrated.

Yes, I guess it is possible to develop contacts through a site such as this and learn from some of the posts or pose your own questions to the forum on the things you want help with.

As far as therapist help, I couldn't advise, I guess it depends on whether or not you feel you have a specific issue you want to address. My experience with therapists was much the same not one hinted at AS and I only came to the self diagnosis about 5 months ago, I too have learnt much about psychology along the way and personally would not want to seek further help.

I am resonably happy and share my life with my two children. I have made peace as such with not having friends but felt much more agitated about it in previous years as one of my therapists kept telling me I needed to find/make friends. If you have the chance to make things right with your kids that would be worth while following to give you more of a sense of connection and that might help.

One of the things to remember is that medicine only began to recognize Asperger's in the mid 90's. The initial description of the problem was only about 40 years ago, and science/medicine take a lot of convincing before recognizing a satellite of signs and symptoms belong together in a definitive way. From my research, more information is coming from the UK than the US, so for anyone in the US the information is only filtering over here. Also, a neuropsychologist specializing in Autism spectrum disorders is going to "get it" a lot faster than someone who is looking for another pathology, such as depression, personality disorder, etc. Also, be aware that Asperger's generally presents with a co-morbidity, which can disguise the true nature of the issue.