I'm loki. My story is long and complicated. I don't expect you to read it, but for those that want to, it's here. Mostly though I just wanted to say hi!
My story:
My parents were both mentally ill and trying to recover from incidents in their life prior to my existence. My father was still back in Vietnam watching his friend die in his place, and my mother was still a little girl being told that her mother wishes she had died and her sister had lived, because she was stupid and fat, and her sister was smart and pretty. I have forgiven them because of this. I was physically and mentally abused by them throughout my childhood, and I was neglected by the systems that ought to have protected me. I was shipped from doctor to doctor and never given a diagnosis, but put on meds that repeatedly almost killed me and I clearly didn't need. No one noticed when I stopped talking for a year and a half. When I came to DCF, they told me I had to be lying because I was in special ed. When I came to them covered in bruises and with proof my parents were doing drugs, DCF told me they'd have me arrested if I contacted them again. I always assumed that the reason I had so much trouble was all of this, and once I'd gotten out, I'd recover.
It wasn't until after I left home in November 2009 I realized that there was more to it than that... mental illness had been ruled out over the course of my childhood, so what was it? I got very depressed because I didn't know what was wrong with me and I hated being such a drain on my friends. Eventually I met my fiance, who is older than me and has a degree in psych. We met when a mutual friend, who thought we'd hit it off, introduced us. After only knowing me a very short time, my fiance and I had hit it off, and he was almost certain I was autistic.
After a 6 month process of having him declared my guardian so that I couldn't be declared incompetent and institutionalized/forced on meds again, seeing tons of people and getting lots of opinions, it's official. I now have a diagnosis as Aspergers, although the general consensus is it's actually classical autism but high functioning, but due to diagnostic rules, it's Aspergers.
Anyway, it's nice to meet you all.
14 Aug 2011, 7:33 pm
