Longtime lurker emerging from the shadows...

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Not sure where to start, but here goes nothing...


My name is Adam, I'm 22 years old, and I'm a senior at Cal State Long Beach who may (emphasis on "may") be graduating in the spring.

I most likely have high-functioning autism, although I have not been formally diagnosed recently. I was originally diagnosed with Kanner's autism when I was three-and-a-half (though this was at a time when the concept of high-functioning autism was virtually unknown). However, it was later found that I was hyperlexic (I taught myself how to read when I was three), and combined with the fact that I was much higher-functioning in some areas than others with Kanner's, the diagnosis was changed to "pervasive development disorder" by the time I was five. Most likely, I would be diagnosed with PDD-NOS today (or perhaps Asperger's, for all I know), although virtually no traces of autism remain in my behavior other than my occasional stimming (though I only do this at home by myself) as well as the fact that I'm basically socially ret*d.

I'll spare you my sob stories (for now, at least), though I feel like going on a mini-rant, which I'll post soon...after I browse through this site a little bit...

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Hi Adam, welcome to WP.

Welcome to WP ! ! Do check out the various forums, don't take the humor personally, and please feel free to rant. (We do ! !)

Welcome to WP. I lurk on other boards.

I lurk around the windows of the female dorms. Wait I'm not even in college...Wait I do not even like girls....

Anybody with a Fear And Loathing avy is good with me.

Welcome!

Hi, I lurk around on sites for a long time before I join em.

Thanks, guys. I'm just glad that a supportive forum like this exists online...

Don't worry about me taking anything personally...I can take it and dish out more than my fair share...but all in good fun, of course

And yes, I'm a big Hunter S. Thompson fan...the man spoke truth, what can I say?

And I don't have a "rant" so much as something I want to get off my chest. Maybe this belongs in the "Friendships and General Social Interaction" forum, but...as I said in my earlier post, I'm going to college, and I was just hired as an editor for my school paper. I've met some people during my time at college, which alone makes up for the soul-gnawing loneliness of my high school years, though I honestly can't say I've made any close friends (yeah, I'm having difficulties socially...so unusual, I know). I talk to people I work with at the school paper, and I'm trying to reach out more socially, but when I talk to them either in the phone or in person I just get the feeling that I'm not regarded highly or not taken seriously by them. For instance, there's this girl I work with there who I consider a good friend. We talk on the phone sometimes, and I think we get along really well, but when we talk, I just get the feeling that she's trying to blow me off or wishes she was talking to one of her other friends. Usually, I'll get worried that this is the case, and I'll blank when trying to think of what to say next. After this happens, she usually says that she has to talk to one of her friends or do something else, and she always says that she is going to call back, but she doesn't. Then again, maybe I'm just worrying about this too much...her reasons for getting off the phone are usually legitimate, and I'm sure she's pretty busy...

I do admit that I have felt more of a sense of belonging and acceptance at the school paper than I have anywhere else, though I still feel like the odd man out in some ways...and I've always felt that way to at least some degree, so I guess that shouldn't be a surprise, but I still didn't think I'd feel this isolated. The people there seem to like and tolerate me, I guess, but I still feel like the people who work at the school paper and magazine are in their own little sub-cliques, and I can't fit into any of them...which has always been a problem for me throughout school...

Don't know if any of this made sense to you, but again, this is something I'm just getting off my chest. Again, maybe I'm thinking about this too much, or maybe I'm just being paranoid and insecure...I don't know...I've never known much about these things...

Either way, thanks for reading this far...

Welcome! I'm RedMage, resident Red Mage and Vincent Valentine lover.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

I'm socially Handicapped, too so don't worry about it.