Hi Everyone
Im John an I guess I should explain how Ive arrived here an where for me here is.
Ive allways felt Im a little "different" but never knew how or why or quite in what way. I was the sort of kid that would build lego spaceships for hours on end by myself (really good ones too lol) but rarely anything else. I would enjoy the construction but never "play space invaders with them". My much younger half brother had imaginary adventures with his lego men and erm, less symetrical lego models lol.
I never really thought about this stuff until my eldest daughter now age 12 and son now age 10 were diagnosed with symantic pragmatic disorder and aspergers syndrome respectively within a few years of starting school. Both my ex-wife and then my ex-girlfriend for the last maybe three or four years have said Im just like my son in many ways but for now I will refer to me.
I dont have many friends at all, in fact I only have two and theyve lasted far longer than any others as I tend to only have friends asscociated with the social circle Im involved with and they dont transfer over when my social circle changes. My good friend John and his wife Im happy to say dont follow this trend probably because we have shared interests and he sees I have a good, honest heart. I used to work in the same factory as john an he describes me as a little odd, deep, sometimes difficult to work with and remembers one time a new guy was "havin a bit of banter" with me and I took it the wrong way and got quite upset.
I understand that some adults diagnosed first become aware through siblings being diagnosed and opinions and observations of their peers but I needed to, and still do need to investigate more to the piont where john told me to stop analyzing every aspect of me through "aspie eyes" as it would do my head in, mayb subtle hint I was also doin his in but also mayb a focused interest lol.
I have to be honest but almost everthing I have read about aspergers seems to describe me in some way to the piont where Ive wept at my keyboard. I do have lots of problems with emotions. This lead me to a councillor about 6mnths ago who works in primary mental health care and within half an hour, mentioning aspergers only at the end he refered me back to my doctors with a referal to secondary mental health for investgation into aspergers. I understand that right now there is a new unit being set up specifically for aspergers and should be ready before christmas.
Right now I think Im maybe self diagnosed but Im not sure. Finding it a little difficult to deal with emotionally for a few reasons. Im currently, due to breakdown in a relationship living in my moms flat on a matress in the living room. Im out of work due to a cartilidge injury sustained at work and an operation and this is life changing stuff.
On the plus side I have my saxophone...........(dont bore with one of my interests lol).
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know I will be ok but it dont make it easy. Still I enjoy a challenge.
John
15 Oct 2011, 8:18 am
