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Hi There

A few weeks ago my family relocated and last week we had a meeting with the new principal of my 9 yr old son's new school. She told us that she and my son's teacher suspect he has aspergers and they discussed this with his previous principal who also agreed. I visited the doctor to get an official diagnosis (from all the research I have done I do believe he has aspergers) and he referred us to a pediatrician (the appt is set for 1st May)... I don't completely understand what aspergers is and I felt like I was suffocating I just want to help my baby, I contacted some helplines and they advised me that what I am experiencing is some kind of grief.

So... I did the right thing and notified his biological father of the suspicion. He responded by telling me I am a liar and he didn't believe me (nothing unusual he is an angry man). The problem is the relationship my son has with his "father" is incredibly strained, he refers to him by his first name but when speaking to him calls him nothing at all. He refuses to hug him so his father forces him by putting his arms around my son and lifting him up, my son makes his body go stiff and he pulls himself away. If my son had any kind of say he would chose not to see this man at all as far as he is concerned my new husband is his "Dad".
When my exhusband spends time with my son he places him into uncomfortable situations and has inappropriate conversations with him.

Does anyone have any information as to what highly stressful situations does to an ASD child? My concern is that any child would struggle with this kind of relationship but what about an aspergers one?

My exhusband has applied for full custody of my son and even though I highly doubt the courts would allow it I have had to tell my son what his father's intentions are. My son responded by telling me he wants to stay with me and daddy and his baby brother, that he'd rather "kill himself" than live with "that man".

I should be focusing on my child and his needs but instead I have to fight for him to remain with me.
Any advice at all would be appreciated.

First you need to concentrate on getting a dx for your child. The best way of doing that is taking him to a center specialized in autism. The pediatrician will just refer you to an specialist, because they cannot evaluate your son for AS. The pediatrician will probably refer you to a psycholigist or psychiatrist, but the best way to get a dx is from a neurologist.

Aspergers is a syndrome inside the autism espectrum which characterize for difficulties with social interaction and exacerbated senses, among other neurological issues. Its not an illness, so your son will always have AS, but with the proper care, love
and therapy he can improve a lot.

Anxiety is not good for people with AS. If, and only if your kid is dx with AS, you might use that against your ex, but I do not thing you should worry about him. If you are married, can provide an stable home and your kid wants to live with you, the law always favors the mother, so I do not think you should worry about him, but it would be a good idea to get legl counseling.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

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Mick