I was at my parents' house for Christmas and my Dad handed me a couple of books written by Craig Kendall and told me he thinks I may have Asperger's Syndrome. Everything I had heard up until then about AS had led me to believe I didn't have it, but those things turned out to be wrong anyway. So I started Googling and found an online test. I took it and got a score of 135 out of 200, it said I was "very likely an Aspie".
Reading up on this syndrome, I felt that finally this explained everything. All my life I felt I had been dropped off from another planet and was merely mimicking human behavior. People who got angry at me for my unusual actions in public I just wrote off as jerks. I have never had a lifelong friend. I have never felt grief at funerals, even for close family members. Even though I'm very smart, I only got average grades in school because I saw no point in doing homework or studying. On the rare occasions I go to a party or other social gathering (always at the suggestion of my wife), I head for the food and barely speak unless spoken to. I've gotten better at that over the years, but I still can't wait to leave after I've been there a few minutes.
It also explained much of my behavior as a child. I used to go off and play by myself and almost never interacted with other children. I was alone so much, my parents worried about me getting kidnapped. I always hated loud noises and would get scared of things like balloons popping or thunderstorms.
I hope to learn more about myself on this forum and learn how to work with the issues I have as a result.
30 Dec 2011, 1:04 am
