I just joined today. I tried to join yesterday, but me and the Security code couldn't agree.
I'm 55. You never heard of Aspergers when I was growing up. Nowadays it seems like they want to Diagnose everyone with it.
Professional attention swings from the extreme of almost being almost totally unaware, to a positive obsession--particularly when diagnosing it will spare them some work.
Be that as it may, several friends that I respect have opined that I might be a High-Functioning Asperger.
I have a high IQ, a good memory--very good a few years ago, an ability to draw disparate themes together.....
And a tendency to "Speed Rap", sometimes against my better judgement.
People insist on pretending to believe that I'm comparing myself to the "Rappers" or commenting on the speed of my speech.
"Speed Rap" means to give long-winded buoyant monologs,deftly leaping from one fascinating topic to another--Like someone under the influence of Speed.
I am very much what I once heard referred to as a "Verbal Literalist".
Today, I've come to realize that one is expected to pick up all sorts of things implicitly, rather than having it Explicitly Explained--and it makes me furious. It is one of life's great injustices.
I can remember when I was a child, and my mother would ask me to move, so she could see someone, and therefore talk to them.
I used to be very miffed that she insisted on pulling my leg that way. Even a child knew that you didn't have to see someone to "Talk" to them.
As a grown man, my Father used to ask me to pass something at the dinner table.
No matter how quickly I stopped eating, he'd mutter in an odd monotone "Can't quit eatin' long enough to pass."
When I started to protest, he'd raise his hand as if to slap me--it was just an emphatic gesture when I was grown.
He'd say, "Shut up, I ain't talkin' to you. Its none of your business."
I tried to operate on the presumption that he was talking to my mother, and my sister--but he'd deny that he was talking to them either--and reiterate that it was none of my bussiness.
It--along with several other equally frustrating running Quarrels we had going about proper Table conduct, ruined many a supper for me. To this day, I very much prefer to dine in private.
Anyway, I got so dispirited by the sight of him slumping in his chair and delivering his odd asides to the non-existent Audience, that it became a near obsession.
When asked to pass something, I'd throw my fork down so hard that it would clatter on my plate, give a huge ear to ear, Spritz-Eating grin, and do everything but jump to my feet and start dancing and singing how I was always more than ready to stop eating to pass the food. I even considered spitting any food in my mouth out onto my plate when asked to pass.
Still, he'd give that weird Sotto Voice Aside--"Can't quit eatin' long enough to Pass."
One day I finally realized that he expected everyone to refrain from eating until everything had been passed around the table two or three laps, before one picked up the Fork to eat....
Why didn't he say so?
If he'd said, "Can't Refrain from Eatin' till all the Passing is Done,"
I'd have known exactly what his grievance was. Don't know how I was supposed to figure that out on the basis of his Bizarre Asides.
By the time that I flashed on what his problem was one day, after years of snide asides, I continued to do it my way--
And even took longer than I had to, to pass something on.
Anyway, I remember things like that. That was well over thirty years ago--and it still hisses me off to think about it.
Have scores of other stories--maybe you get the idea though.
How about the Potential Employer who makes an impassioned plea for folks not to check back, or call?
"We're extremely busy. Please don't cause us extra work. Please!"
Then you hear Horror Stories about Hard-Headed Jim-Bobs who do the exact opposite of what they were asked--and they hire him to get him out from underfoot.
If it was up to me, I'd get a Restraining Order, and have Jim-Bob prosecuted for trespassing, before I'd hire him.
Then your family starts riding you.
"The way to get a Job, is to worry them."
"People who can't follow directions are low-down worthless trash. A system that rewards folks for not following directions is unethical.....
And acting like the unwashed eeliterates who can't or won't follow directions, merely because their atrocities are productive, is an Abomination!"
"You really don't want a job, do you?"
Anyway.....
Does any of that sound like Asperger's?
Or do I just sound like a Hillbilly Mental Case?
SaxonViolence
01 Feb 2012, 5:14 am
