Hello... I think I could have Aspergers...

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Hello everyone

I have always known I was different and I didn't know why. I have never felt like I belonged. I hope that this is the place.

I am a 28 year old Australian woman and have had social issues all of my life. These days, unless you are close to me (very small group), you wouldn't know. I have spent my entire life trying to fit in by copying other's behaviors. I have become quite adept at it. Especially in a work context (social can sometimes still be a bit iffy).

I am not sure whether I would be classified as Aspergers as my repetitive and stereotyped behaviours are not pronounced. Does that mean I don't have Aspergers? I have read that Aspergers is much harder to spot in girls (from the limited material I can find on girls with autism). Are there any other women/girls out there like me?

I realise that everyone is busy and probably wont have time to read it, but I have attached some symptoms/traits that I think are autism spectrum related. I have not had a diagnosis. I have started seeing a new psychologist and he suggested it might be worth looking into. Since then that is basically all I have done! The most surprising thing was the face blindness! I just sort of thought everyone was like that. I would appreciate any opinions or to hear from anyone about their experience.

Thank you



Social
To age 8 (approx)
As a baby would scream when people other than mother went near
"Expelled" from 2 pre-schools. Would not stop screaming.
Tantrums into teens
Cried every day for first 1.5 years of school
Obsessive behavior with toy until pre-teen
Played on own
Stilted interactions
Post-8ish
Interactions based on mimicking current 'best' (only) friend (continued to early-20s). Recently have been based on many different people and mostly for conversation skills.
Tendency to be taken advantage of
Escape to fiction/TV/Fantasy
Do not understand peer interactions (has improved)
Do not understand what to say in social situations (has improved)
People are aware that I don't touch anyone
Do not understand the rules and am anxious when I am not sure of the rules or I think someone is acting outside of the rules I know
All consuming desire to fit in
Feel more connected to animals than people
Communication
Theoretical understanding of facial expressions. Difficulties during emotional times, with subtle emotions, more than one emotion and hidden emotions (has improved).
Very aware of eye contact. Conscious and monitor it.
Aware of arm placement in conversations
Very literal and gullible (has improved)
Difficulty following complex verbal instructions
Difficulty remembering conversations. Difficulty summarising conversations.
Face blindness
- forget meeting people even soon after
- sometimes don't recognise people out of context
- can not visualise family but do recognise them
- can not visualise self
- can not imagine what people in fiction look like
Occasional inappropriate truthful statements (has improved)
Occasional repetition of words. Not out loud.
Physical/Emotional
Walked at 17 months. Spoke early.
Very sensitive to cold
Sensitive to changes in air pressure
Sensitive to light
High pain tolerance
Unusually fast reader but difficulty spelling
Excellent rote memory
Quick learner. Learn by doing. Bored easily with little patience.
Can not remember dance steps and similar, bad balance. Not clumsy but awkward. However good hand eye coordination.
Highly emotionally sensitive
Strange posture (however I am 6ft tall)
Repetitive/stereotyped behaviours
Suck thumb until pre-teen, bite lip, scratch head, hands under dripping/spaying water (rarely), pat animals
Rubbed face with favourite toy when child
Tapping, chewing, bouncing (developed later in life - possibly due to anti-depressants)
Very systematised. Processes, rules. Like to analyse sets of data at work.
Only mildly obsessive interests. TV, fiction.

Hi Goldie83, Welcome to WrongPlanet! I experienced several of the symptoms you have listed (Cried every day for first 1.5 years of school, Played on own, Stilted interactions, Tendency to be taken advantage of, Escape to fiction/TV/Fantasy, Do not understand peer interactions (has improved), Do not understand what to say in social situations (has improved) ) so it is entirely possible that you are on the Autism spectrum. I would ask to see a doctor or a specialist in Asperger's syndrome and see what they say. Hope you enjoy WrongPlanet, all the best.

Dominic

Hi Goldie83! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. You do sound like you may be on the Asperger's/Autism spectrum. If you go for an official diagnosis do see a psych doc with experience with Asperger's and Autism. And remember, you are among friends here at WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you so much for replying everyone! I was worried that no one would. I went a bit overboard with the detail in my post

Welcome to the WrongPlanet. I liked your introductory post.

Hi fellow Aussie and likely female aspie.
I'm only new here too but it's been quite helpful for me already. I'm working my way through Aspergirls by Rudy Simone at the moment, I highly recommend it.

Welcome to WP!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Thanks for the warm welcome.
Jellyhead - thanks for suggesting Aspergirls. I will read it.

I identify with most of your list as well. My 'gut-spill' is much more haphazard than yours and too much detail, and yours is great. It's relieving to know I'm not the only one with these things.

Thanks Outofsync. I read your intro post and it made me smile as the format of mine was so similar I am so glad not to be alone out there! Its such a relief to know that there are other people that understand.

Jellyhead - I read Aspergirls and found it very helpful. I have also been reading some blogs and basically anything I can get my hands on!

I saw my psychologist today and he confirmed that in his opinion I have Aspergers. Is that is what is classified as a 'diagnosis?' I am not sure I would bother going to a specialist as it would be expensive. My psych has 2 sons on the spectrum, so I am not sure how much more experience you can have than that anyway

Lindsay

'The' questionnaire test for Asperger's in adults in Australia takes into account that adults have developed coping skills which kids haven't developed yet, so for each question in the test you have to answer whether it was true when you were a kid*, and now.

You go through the questionnaire with a professional who is qualified to diagnose asperger's in adults. Based on your answers you get a total score on a scale that goes to 200. Between 65 and 75 points is the maybe/maybe not grey zone, and a score above that level suggests that you probably have Asperger's. The result is not in itself a diagnosis, but is used by the professional as an indication which he considers together with other aspects. For example (and now I am just guessing:) voice, body language, appearance and aspects you explain to him.

Based on your list of traits, it does sound likely to me that you have it. But I am not a specialist.

Where in Australia are you?

*The age brackets are defined first.

Ps. I just read 'Aspergirls' too and found it very helpful too.

Thanks for the information AWD. I am in Brisbane. I have been recommended a specialist. However, it is pretty expensive and I think I am using up my government rebates on the psychologist. I will ask the psych next time I go what the options are. It sounds a bit daunting though.

You are welcome! In Brisbane there is the Hearts & Minds clinic, which should be very good I've heard (~ read. Here in the Wrong Planet forums, for example). It has Tony Attwood on board - world known specialist in asperger's syndrome who has written/spoken about women with Asperger's on various occasions.

If the government rebate in Queensland is similar to NSW ('covers' 6 sessions in every calendar year) then I guess in the worst case you could simply contact a relevant specialist and get on the waiting list, and then await next calendar years to start so the rebate gets 'filled up' again. I suspect the waiting lists with the good specialists may be so long that it will take that long to get in anyway.